The morning outside was pleasant and sunny, in sharp contrast to the sour
look on Sabre-X's face as I entered. He looked up and growled for me to sit
down. I didn't take his bad humour personally, but I couldn't help remarking
upon it.
"Well! You look like someone with troubles. Has the omelette run out again?"
"Yes, it has, but if that were the only thing.... I've got a case for you,
MonoKeras."
"I assumed as much when you called. So what's up?"
"Foul play. Messy and foul. I've got the suspect in jail right now, he's being
held pending investigation."
"Which is where I come in. So give with the details, Lupe, don't keep me guessing."
Sabre-X wasn't amused. "Pipe down and listen, then. The main reason I want
you is that I don't think he's guilty, but I don't trust my own instincts on
this- he's a Tonu."
I laughed. "What? You still aren't over their messing up of your little omelette
rationing?"
"You can afford to laugh. You weren't the one that had to round up hundreds
of critters no one had even seen before, and try to figure out what to do with
them. But now, one's been accused of this crime, and I'm not sure if my instincts
are right. I may just be bending over backwards to avoid being prejudiced against
him."
"I see. You want me to interview him?"
"Right. After you do, I'll tell you more about the case--I don't want to prejudice
you beforehand."
I thought about telling Sabre-X that it might be hard to question a suspect
when you didn't even know exactly what to ask about, but decided not to. He
was touchy enough as it was. He got up to leave, with me following, but then
he paused at the door as he remembered something.
"Oh, yeah. The head of our local watch is Peki. He's a Pteri, and he's got
a nasty temper. Don't pay any mind to his attitude, it always stinks."
I followed Sabre-X into the hall, muttering under my breath, "You two would
make a good pair this morning." If he heard me, he didn't show any sign of it.
Sabre-X was opening the lock on the door that led to the cell block when a
Pteri bustled out. "What's this? What's going on here?"
Sabre-X gave a curt nod my way. "Got our investigator here to see that Tonu."
Peki (as I correctly assumed) glared at me. "Waste of time!" he shrilled. "I
already told you everything you need to know, and you've got totally undeniable
proof! What more do you want? Those Tonu are a menace to civilisation!" X's
growl of bad humour seemed to dent his self-importance a bit, because he waddled
back to his office, muttering under his breath something about blood and Tonus.
"C'mon, he's this way," Sabre-X grunted. I followed him down the short corridor
to a solid steel door. Sabre-X looked at me with something like sympathy. "I'm
going to shut the door behind you, MonoKeras, so don't take it personally. If
you want out, just holler, I'll be right here."
With that rather unreassuring statement, he opened the door and let me in.
I stared at the huge green Tonu. He glared at me. Then, without a single coherent
word, he roared and charged. He didn't have a chance against my speed. I was
against the far wall as he thudded horn first into the door. The metal walls
rang loudly with the impact, and he fell back, grunting and puffing. I stared
at the dent in the door and gulped. If that had been my hide there... best not
to consider that.
The captive glared at me. "What you do, keep Tonka here. Didn't do nothing,
let me out, want Sharon."
I grimaced. Like most new NeoPets species, it would seem that Tonka was only
half-civilised. Talking apparently wasn't a high priority in his life. "Don't
worry," I replied soothingly. "I'm here to help you out. Just talk with me about
what happened."
I wasn't quite prepared for the reaction. Tonka sat back on his hind legs.
"Tonka not do murder! Tonka not bad! TONKA WANT HOME!" His crying was
louder than his charge a minute earlier. Huge tears flowed out of his eyes,
creating puddles on the floor.
"Uhhhh... just tell me what happened, Tonka. What went wrong?"
"Tonka don't know," he sniffled. "Running with friend. Come to, friend gone,
horn gone, hurt, Tonka want Sharon!"
I sighed. "When was this?" He just stared at me. "Uhh... was it day or night?"
"Dark out, run with friend, moon full, fun run, forget things, Tonka lose horn!"
and tears began streaming out his eyes again.
"I'm sorry," I said helplessly. This looked to be hopeless. I edged around
the huge mound of sobbing flesh, and tapped the door with my hoof. "Don't worry,
I'll get you home."
An eye popped open. "Tonka go home now?" He inquired hopefully.
"Soon, soon, don't worry."
He sank to the floor. "Tonka want home now," he moaned as I slipped back out
into the hallway and Sabre-X shut the door behind me.
I was still shaken as we sat back in Sabre-X's office. "Whew!" I said. "That
was rough. What's this about losing his horn? He had enough of one to practically
put a hole in the door- or me!"
"Tonus re-grow their horns," Sabre-X replied. "He lost his old one a little
over a week ago now, he's had plenty of time to get a replacement started. You
probably noticed it looked small."
"Yes, I did, but I don't know proper horn proportions on these pets." I gulped
as Sabre-X pulled out a huge piece of rough ivory and dropped it on his desk.
"That's it???"
"That's it. His horn, sure enough, and the weapon, too. No doubt about
it at all."
"You found it on the scene?"
"It was, yes."
"Why don't you just tell me the whole thing?"
"There isn't much to tell, actually. Peki and his watch were flying around
that night, keeping an eye on things. They saw a couple of Tonu charging along
and followed them. A Kougra was standing off to the side, and the big one-Tonka-swerved
over and crashed into the Kougra. He did it deliberately, apparently. There
were a lot of marks all over what was left, it must have been a minute or so
of pure carnage before Peki and his bunch managed to pull the Tonu off."
"Sounds like an open and shut case. So why call me in on it?"
"You questioned him, so you know. He's too dumb to lie, I think, and while
he won't deny it..."
"Yeah. He says he doesn't remember. Interesting."
"Right. And we've got to file charges soon, or let him go. I can't keep him
locked up in suspension this way indefinitely."
"I see....."
"If you want, I can let you talk with Peki, or with his owner--"
"Sharon?"
"Yes. She lives around here."
"Never mind," I replied. "I've got enough to mull over right now. See you around."
Sabre-X said something, but I didn't catch it. I was halfway to the door, with
my mind halfway across Neopia. The sight of that huge horn had triggered a lot
of memories, and few pleasant ones.
I spent several hours that day browsing through the seedier markets and bazaars
of Neopia. I was hunting for one particular item or type of item. As I suspected,
things were scarce. I asked around, and although I failed to come up with any
proof, I developed enough circumstantial evidence to try out a hunch. Late afternoon
found me in front of a cave entrance, taking a deep breath before I ventured
into some very dangerous territory. My days with the lab ray were finding some
use, and although I didn't relish what was ahead I at least knew what I wanted
to do. I held a small crystal to my lips and gently whistle/sang/chanted a few
words to it. I closed my eyes as a glow of warmth swept across my golden fur
and wings. Although it was almost undetectable in full sunlight, I glowed a
bit brighter. In this dark cavern, I would look like an avenging faerie of light.
I strode in confidently, all four hooves clicking on the seemingly-natural
stone floor of the cavern. A wandering path was not an accident, but rather
a careful threading through many unseen traps and snares that laid in wait for
the unwary. I reached the far end of the main chamber and was about to enter
another small hole when a brown ugly form shot up in front of me, snarling and
growling. I didn't waste time arguing with the mutant Kiko. A casual backhand
swipe with one forehoof left it huddled in the corner, slobbering over a broken
tooth. I would have felt worse if I hadn't known from personal experience that
a mutant Kiko's tooth would re-grow faster than a Tonu's horn.
A few minutes later I opened the door to a small office. The mutant Kacheek
behind the desk looked up at me with its bloodshot eyes. This was the Mastermind,
a criminal overlord whose main claim to fame was that the authorities still
had no clue to the existence of him or his network. My golden light triggered
his mental warning alarms. "Vat?? Vho are you?"
I closed the door behind me and looked down at him. "A potential business associate,
my fanged friend."
"Vat you mean and how did you get in here?"
"Quite simple, actually. I spent a couple of stints guarding your place. As
I recall you paid well... and some of that pay came from the sale of Monoceraptor Horn."
His eyes widened. "Fyes? Ssso?"
"So your supply is drying up--even the fake stuff now. Very few of the aphrodisiacs
I saw on the market even claim that ingredient anymore. That's where I come
in."
He tried to hide his surprise. "You haff Monoceraptor Horn?"
"No, but I've got access to the next best thing--Tonu horn!" I saw his glint
of amusement and pretended to ignore it. "Think about it. Everyone knows that
Tonu breed like crazy." (I didn't bother adding that all new NeoPet breeds did
at first.) "It wouldn't take much to get the rumour started that Tonu horn is
an aphrodisiac. I've already been hearing speculation on it in fact!"
"Hah! Nice try, but I'm not interfrested."
"I could get it for you soon," I promised rashly. "And maybe even get you some
of the live critters. You could start your own secret breeding operation!"
The Mastermind looked tempted. "I don't know....."
He might not, but I did. I'd been watching his reactions well enough to see
that my guesses had been true. Now that I'd found all I wanted, a quick exit
was in order. I summoned up some outrage. "You don't KNOW? Well! I like that.
I offer you a cheap and easy replacement for one of your most profitable lines,
and you just sit there saying you don't know! Do you know who you're talking
to???"
He glared at me. "No."
I turned cagey. "Well if you don't know, I won't tell you. Let's say I have
highly placed contacts in Tyrannia, and I can cover anything I want to. But
since you're not interested, good day." I whirled around and stalked out before
he could recover.
"Vait!" he cried, but I wasn't "vaiting." A twist on my crystal and a small
chirp reversed my glow-spell, and I began to absorb light rather than generate
it. I wished I could do the same thing with sound, but I managed to tiptoe out
a back way without being caught by any of the guards that were suddenly active
in the area. My last shot had obviously hit home.
I followed up a couple of other loose ends and fleshed out a few more details
before sending Sabre-X a Neomail telling him to get Tonka, his owner, and Peki
in for a meeting the next morning. I arrived then to find that X had been his
usual competent self. They were all waiting for me in the conference chamber.
They made a rather humorous grouping around the long conference table. Sabre-X
sat at the head of it, with Tonka at the foot of it opposite him. Huddled on
Tonka's left side was his owner, looking very protective and tearful. Crowding
him on his right side was Peki, making a very good show of being the very important
and vigilant guard over his dangerous prisoner. Both of them were practically
hugging Tonka, leaving the space between their tight knot and Sabre-X completely
bare. Sabre-X introduced me formally, for which I got a curt nod from Peki,
a tearful stare from Sharon, and total lack of response from Tonka, who was
trying to crowd his owner without shoving her off her chair.
"Have you managed to shed some light on the situation?" Sabre-X inquired.
"I believe so, but more importantly, I've figured out how to magically show
who the real criminal was. I do hope you'll forgive me, X, but I took the liberty
of removing this..." and I dropped Tonka's huge horn onto the table with a thud,
"from your office, along with samples of the... remains..." several small vials
of tissue joined the horn on the table.
Sabre-X looked a bit nettled, but didn't protest. "So how will this help solve
our problem?"
"By a simple connection spell." I began scattering green powder over and around
the items as I continued. "I magically draw a line between the victim and the
weapon. The other end of that line will point to the criminal. It's a relatively
simple and foolproof process. I'm surprised that Tekeli-Li hadn't done it for
you already."
Sabre-X had the grace to look embarrassed. "I never considered asking him.
You know I don't care for this mumbo-jumbo stuff."
"Well never mind, it's easily remedied. Now...." I held out a wand in each
forehoof, and crossed their lines of force as I chanted the spell. Instantly
a green bar of light swirled into being between the two sets of evidence. I
let it stabilise for a few seconds before crooning the second part of the spell.
I gasped as I suddenly hit more than I bargained for, but I managed to keep
control and completed the spell. A longer bar of green light shot down towards
the far end of the table.
"See!" Peki shouted. "I told you he did it! When are you going to stop doubting
my word! This is a dangerous killer here!"
Sharon glared at me. "You're just as bad as the rest of these puffed-up morons,"
she spat.
"Peki," I said in a low tone, "and you too, Sharon. Step away from Tonka...
come on, Peki," I replied as he hesitated.
"I'm not going to let this beast out of my hold!" he shrilled.
But Sabre-X had seen the same thing I had. "Back off, Peki," he barked.
Peki stomped away in a huff... and the green line moved, pinning him with no
uncertainty.
Sharon's eyes widened. "You! I knew it! You did it yourself and framed my Tonka!
Then you jail him for something you did!"
Peki didn't have a chance to reply. Tonka, who had been sitting in quiet incomprehension,
suddenly roared to life. His owner's reaction, if not her words, had sparked
his meager IQ. "Bad 'teri jail Tonka!" he roared, and charged the hapless Pteri
Chairs went flying and the table was shoved halfway across the room. I'd been
ready for this, though, and a quick flip with my wands instantly pinned Peki
to the ceiling, letting Tonka roar by beneath him and thud into the rock wall.
It didn't give as easily as his metal cell had, and he flopped back with a dazed
look on his face. Sharon instantly ran over to comfort him, totally ignoring
the sputtering Pteri above her.
"Sharon," Sabre-X said, "Take Tonka outside into the waiting room. I'll be
out in a little while to discuss things with you."
She smiled through her tears and nodded as she half-led, half-pulled Tonka
through the door.
I'd let my original spell go when I'd pinned Peki, and he began shouting down
at Sharon, demanding her to stop in the name of the law. After a brief glare
upwards, she ignored him. The door closed behind her, and Peki found himself
staring down at the two of us. "Let me down from here, you fool!" he shrilled
at me. "You've got no authority for this! I'm in charge of the prisoners here
and..."
I raised my voice in a commanding tone to override his blustering. "And right
now a little float spell has you out of harm's way while we decide what to do
with you."
"It would have to have been one of the two, wouldn't it," mused Sabre-X. "The
story was too good. Either it was true, and Tonka was a killer, or it was a
lie and Peki here framed him."
"Yep," I replied.
"I still don't know why, though."
I regained my chair and leaned back before clasping my hands nonchalantly behind
my head. "It's actually relatively simple. In case you hadn't noticed, Tonu
horn looks a lot like Monoceraptor Horn." Sabre-X nodded. "That probably gave
Peki the original idea. Remember the black market for aphrodisiacs, and how
Monoceraptor Horn was the cure of the day for months?"
Sabre-X grimaced. "I should, I had to track down several dozen quacks from
that one. But that is... over...." I saw by his thoughtful expression that he'd
seen where I was going.
"Right. Over, but Tonu horn could be an acceptable substitute. So, how to get
it? Tonus aren't just going to part with their horns voluntarily. What you do
is remove legal protection from them and take their horns by force."
"But how would framing Tonka..."
"It all lay in their herd instinct. Remember, Tonka couldn't remember anything
that happened, besides that he was running? Once they get started- particularly
in a mob- nothing is going to stop them. They go beyond reason. Having one of
their own accused of such a crime would be enough to drive them over the edge...
particularly if the situation simply simmered for a while to let the story spread
and feelings rise- which it has."
"Nonsense! Pure moonshine!" Peki shrieked.
"Oh shut up," I replied. "After all, you're the one dealing with the Mastermind."
He gulped. "The Mastermind? How do you know about him? I didn't...."
I looked up at him innocently. "What? I was referring to myself.... did you
have someone else in mind?"
"I..." He finally ran out of words as Sabre-X glared at him.
"I think you've got some explaining to do, Pteri," Sabre-X growled. "As of
now, you are suspended without pay while I have this whole thing looked into."
"It... it's nothing but sheer madness!" Peki squawked.
"And the first order of business will be finding this 'mastermind' you just
referred to," Sabre-X continued. "I assume that was his criminal contact for
marketing the horn?" he asked me.
"It looks like it," I replied. "I wouldn't know, myself. But you're right.
Between finding out who that is, and questioning Peki's guard members, I think
you've got the makings of a good case."
Sabre-X glared at me. He knew I was covering, but chose not to press it. "Let
him go, MonoKeras. I'll deal with him in the morning."
"Of course." A quick flip with a wand let Peki flop to the floor, and he actually
ran away without any attempt to preserve his dignity. I felt satisfied with
the whole thing, myself.
There was just one other loose end that I'd had on my mind. I managed to tie
it up when Sabre-X and I left the conference room to talk with Sharon and Tonka.
"Sharon, there's one thing that has me puzzled."
"What's that, sir?"
I grinned to myself at the 'sir'. "I looked in the registry, and couldn't find
a Tonu named Tonka. There were a couple of Tonkas, but no Tonu why?"
"Oh!" She blushed a bit. "I wanted to name him Tonka originally, but they told
me the name was taken. So I named him 'Tonka-Tonka' instead. I just call him
that for short."
Tonka, upon hearing his name, neatly buried his owner's face in his tongue.
It was just as well that she was too busy giggling and playing with him to see
the wry looks that Sabre-X and I exchanged. For the first time in this whole
mess, he was grinning with me. We didn't need to say a word, we both knew what
the other was thinking. Humans! Aren't they just the silliest?
I returned to my office, basically content with the whole thing. As it turned
out, Peki and half of his guards disappeared that night, never to be heard from
again. If it hadn't been for the last few words between Sabre-X and I before
we left the conference room, it would have been perfect.
"MonoKeras," he'd said, "I noticed you seemed to get a nasty shock when you
did that spell. What was up?"
"Oh, that. I guess it's best you know, anyway. Remember, Tonu horn is like
the Monoceraptor's horn?" He nodded. "Well, I got a bead on the Monoceraptor
though it. And I don't know exactly where or how, but I'm afraid we're in for
more trouble from him- and soon."
Sabre-X looked about as worried as I'd ever seen him. "Are you sure it was
the Monoceraptor?"
I regretted the next flippant words as soon as they were out of my mouth, "oh,
no, of course not. There's one other threat that would show up real easy there,
but I don't think we have to worry about him."
He'd grunted and dropped the subject, but the unsettled look on his face had
told me enough. There were now two of us who would be sleeping with one eye
open for some time to come.
The End | 
