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"Blimey!" Stevo said, shaking his head to clear it. "It's
a long way down."
The Krawk Krew had come to Faerieland to get
the exclusive scoop on Flouds. Rumours were rife around Neopia that you just
couldn't feed carrots to Flouds, but no one was quite sure why. Stevo Furwin
was determined to find out the truth.
"Are those Flouds ready?" Keri said, fluffing
up her fur before the taping began.
"Ever wonder why they don't have Flouds on Feed
Florg?" Les pondered as he arranged the fourteen Flouds they'd rounded up for
the experiment into cute little bundles. All of them were rather docile, and
cute, and Les had no idea what the big fuss was about. Surely these adorable
little faerie Petpets couldn't get all that riled just because of a simple carrot.
Oh, well. The sooner work was over, the sooner he could get back to his favourite
game. Ah, Florg...
"Les!"
Keri snapped.
"Gah! Yes?" Les nearly jumped a mile - Keri
could get scary when she was angry.
"Were you thinking about Florg again?!" she
demanded.
"Oh, no... of course not... I've been playing... um...
Extreme Herder a lot more lately. Really." Les fudged, and finished fluffing
the Flouds. Just in case the colour of the Floud made a difference, they had
rounded up some of each colour that Flouds could be found in (Pink, Red, Green,
Blue, and Yellow). Les had arranged them in a pleasing rainbow effect.
Quivel was pleased with himself, too, as he
got ready for the day's filming. As the Krawk Files camera Quiggle, he had a
very important job-even if he didn't get to appear in the actual show. Quivel
was very resourceful and had survived his job for three whole weeks. Stevo had
even promised him a big pay raise for his one-month anniversary with the Krawk
Krew.
Stevo was setting up the cardboard cutout of
Shidi behind the wall of Flouds, who were all sitting very quietly and patiently.
"What cute little nippers..." he said as he patted each one on its little fluffy
head. The Flouds squeaked and chirred cutely, waiting for their time in the
spotlight with admirable patience.
"Ready!" Stevo shouted, shaking his tail and
getting into position with Keri on one side, and Les on the other. Quivel closed
in with the camera and began taping. "Crikey! Welcome to another exciting episode
of Krawk Files! I'm your host, Stevo Furwin, and this is my lovely wife Keri!
Isn't she a beaut? And this is my best mate, Les! Thanks for all your cards
and letters, blokes-Les has been getting over his little Florg problem." Florgggg...
thought Les, getting a bit glassy eyed for a moment. Focus on the show...
focus on the show....
"We're here in Faerieland to disprove that terrible
rumour that you can't feed a Floud carrots," Keri explained, indicating the
cute little wall of Flouds. Quivel turned the camera towards the colourful rainbow
of Petpets, all of whom were smiling and on their very best behaviour.
"And who's that behind the Petpets?" Stevo said
enthusiastically, rushing over to put a paw on the cardboard cutout. "Why, it's
our sponsor, Shidi! If you need someone with an ego taken down to size, or need
a story about how fast the Buzz flies, Shidi's your author - it's no surprise!"
"I hate this part," Keri muttered. Stevo
hugged the Shidi cutout, while Les headed over with a large basket full of fresh
carrots.
"We've got fourteen Flouds here - of various
sizes and colours," Stevo explained. "Les here is going to place a carrot in
front of each of these gorgeous Petpets, and then we're going to see for once
and for all that absolutely nothing bad happens when we feed carrots to Flouds!"
"Psst... Les..." Stevo whispered, a bit edgily,
while Quivel focused on the Flouds, who were cutely hopping up and down in the
anticipation of food. "You did remember to do that 'net research I asked you
to, didn't you?"
"Research?" Les said, puzzled. Oops. Maybe that's
what he was supposed to be doing last night when he'd beaten his high score
on Feed Florg again. "Of course, mate."
"Good. So it's really just a rumour, then
right?"
Stevo asked, eyeing the cute little Flouds.
"Right-O," said Les, laying a carrot in front
of each Floud. He had no idea, truthfully, so he stepped way back behind Keri.
"All right Flouds, dig in!" Stevo called gleefully,
and turned to face the camera. The Flouds started hungrily chomping the carrots,
the sounds of their tiny little teeth making an eerie gnashing that made Keri
clutch Les and try to get behind him - just in case.
"As you can clearly see, there's nothing wrong
with feeding carrots to your Flouds! Another terrible rumour has been dispelled
by common sense," Stevo lectured. Quivel shivered. The Flouds behind Stevo seemed
a bit
cranky. They were all starting to huddle together, perhaps forming a
secret evil plan of sorts. He wasn't sure if he was imagining things-had their
teeth always been that razor sharp? Quivel did his best to keep the camera steady.
"Psssttt... Stevo..." Les muttered, trying to get
his attention. "Flouds... getting... riled."
"When we apply science to situations like this,"
Stevo went on, "We can see that Petpets should be loved and understood, not
feared." The Flouds, meanwhile, were starting to climb the cardboard cutout
of Shidi.
 Keri,
Les, and Quivel stared in horror as one of the Flouds opened its jaws wide,
and chomped right down on the head of the Shidi cutout.
"Blimey!" shouted Les. "That Floud decapitated our sponsor!"
"What?" Stevo shouted, turning around quickly. "Uh-oh!" The Floud swarm leapt
off of the headless cutout, and onto Stevo, mouths open, and teeth gleaming.
"Ahhhhh! Get 'em off of me!"
"Stevo! You've got Flouds on your face!" Keri
shouted, horrified.
"That's - ow! - not the only - ow! - place!
One's biting me tail!" Stevo shouted, crying out in pain, trying to shake them
off. "Les! Do something!"
"Uhh," Les said, considering what that something
could be. Run came to mind.
"Aghhh!" Stevo cried, blinded by the Flouds
in his face, and crashed hard into Quivel. Quivel flew up into the air about
ten feet, then sighed with relief. He was uninjured. His relief was short-lived,
however, when he realised that he had fallen off the edge of the cloud. The
ground was approaching, fast.
"Great. There goes another cameraman," Keri
said with a sigh, and smacked Les upside the head. "Go save Stevo! I didn't
pay his insurance premium this month."
"Flesh... eating... Flouds!" Stevo said, crashing
into the side of the Hidden Tower. If only he wasn't blinded by a face-full
of Flouds, he would have been able to do a special report on having found the
secret location. As it was, he staggered off the other way, towards Keri and
Les.
"Think, Les... think!" Keri urged.
"What would Florg do?" Les said, desperately
assessing the situation and thinking of his hero. "Ah-hah! Look out, little
Flouds! Here comes Les!" Les rushed towards the angry mob of Petpets, licking
his lips.
"I can't watch!" Keri said, covering her eyes.
Special Announcement: Due to technical difficulties the episode ends
here this week. Quivel, Stevo, and Les were all taken to the Neopian Hospital
by Keri. Quivel will be recovering from injuries due to his fall from Faerieland
for the next couple of months, and is reportedly considering a new line of work.
Stevo treated himself while still in the waiting room with a few bandages and
some duct tape, and was good to go. Les, however, had a mysterious case of Bloaty
Belly....
The End
Author's Note: The parody in this story is intentional, and the characters
used in it reside on the account Krawk_Files. As always, thank you for reading,
and feel free to Neomail
me if you've got a question, comment, or are just feeling a bit riled! | 
