JALANII'S STORY--by monkigirl90 Kink45 was a white kougra...a very annoying white kougra...so annoying, in fact, that he was punted out of his neohome every day for being hyper and obnoxious. On this particular day, he had been kicked out for drawing on one of Moradicus' pictures. Moradicus had been angry, and kicked him around the house. Then, Monkigirl came in, yelled at Moradicus, then Kink said "Tee hee...Yeah, that's right you *&^$# Zafara! Nyah!" Then Day kicked him out of the house, tossed him some neopoints and told him to go get a berry mocha for himself. Kink grumbled and got tears in his eyes and looked pathetic...but as soon as his house was out of view, he smiled to himself, and skipped off to the coffee shop. "Works every time!" he tittered. Today was particularly sunny, the neopian shops were crowded and bustling, the sky was a bright blue...like a berry. Berries reminded him of the coffee he was going to get. Coffee made him think wonderful things. Kink drooled. His associative thinking continued for so long that when he finally stopped, he realized that he had taken a wrong turn. A dark alley loomed in front of him, the air thick and stifling. A lupe barked in the distance. Kink shivered, and looked at the sagging houses lining the ramshackle, grimy street. A skeith down the street, leaning against one of the houses, glared at him. The little kougra took a hesitant step back, coughing. He jumped when his back paw squished into something disgusting. It was a rotten apple, crawling with worms. Kink gagged and turned to run back, away from the slum-like street. But something lying in the gutter caught his attention...he curiously inched toward it, all the time keeping one eye on the hungry looking skeith. It was furry...what was this thing? He leaned his head closer...then pulled back suddenly and gasped--it was a little yellow aisha with a broken collar, covered with sickly red spots! Oh my gosh, she was dead! Kink, having never seen anything so horrifying before, gave out a muffled shriek. Suddenly, she shuddered and Kink shrieked again, eyes wide with fright. He looked around and saw the skeith narrow its eyes and take a step toward him. He ran up to the aisha and said urgently, "Um..can you walk? Look, we've got to get out of here." "Uurrgh..." Kink looked impatiently at her, then nervously turned his attention to the skeith, who was picking up its pace. "Come on, come on! We've got to go!" He said, trying to supress his growing panic. "I..I can't..." She looked up at him, her golden eyes rolling. Every one of his white hairs stood on end, and he propped the small aisha up and put one of her paws over his shoulder. At first he was dragging her, but after a few steps she started hobbling on her own, and soon they were running down the street. The gasping aisha finally collapsed when they were back among the normal shops. "Are you ok, aisha? Are ya?" The little creature coughed, aisha antennae-things sagging. Her ears drooped as she took a few feeble steps. "Here I know what will make you feel better!" Joyous at his brilliant solution, Kink ran over to the bustling smoothie shop and bought two hot coffees for them. But then, despite his trying, he couldn't get the sick aisha to drink it. She simply fell down like a sack of meridell potatoes and began to snore. Discouraged, the kougra looked around for help (he tossed his empty coffee in the trash and started to drink the other one). Then, his heart sank further as he saw the Neopets pharmacy. "Ohh! I should have...but now I'm out of money." The disheartened Kink dragged her over to a bench next to the rainbow pool. The last few customers were heading home. "What are we going to do?!" he lamented, "It's getting dark, I have no money to buy a cure, and there's no way I can carry this aisha all the way home!" His stomach growled and he sighed, trying to see through the mist and darkening sky. "I want coffee." Was that-- he could have sworn something moved in the fog. "I-is someone there?" His meek voice was swallowed up in the night. He tried to be quieter, but the softer he tried to breath the more air he needed and he only became louder. Finally he breathed shallowly, his eyes flicking around in the darkness, looking for whatever had been lurking in the night. But then, once he finally got quiet-- "SNNNOOOORRRRT-ssss...." The aisha emitted an earsplitting snore! Kink jumped, and saw the shadow in the mist coming toward them. "Wake up!" he hissed to the aisha that was louder than she looked. "Wha--what?" She said sleepily. She coughed. He poked her until she woke up and hastily pulled her away from the thing, towards the rainbow pool. The pair crouched low. She began to shiver...Kink looked at her questioningly. She pointed wildly to her mouth, and emitted a muffled cough. The hulking figure turned towards them. Kink covered her mouth with his paw and they backed up quietly. The thing began to move away from them. Kink's muscles relaxed and he removed his paw. "COUGH cough hack cough ACHOOO!!" the aisha burst out. They heard the creature coming back towards them--fast! "RunRunRun!" Kink gasped, and they turned to haul tail...but instead they fell right into the rainbow pool! Kink paddled wildly. He opened his eyes in the dark water, and through the bubbles he saw the aisha's figure. His head broke the surface, and he gasped for air. Then, treading water, he choked out, "I'll save you!" But when he turned, he saw the aisha looking at him...she appeared to be healthier. "Try standing," she said with a soft smile. "It's not even two feet deep...oh my!" She looked down at herself. The spots from her sickness shimmered in the moonlight, and began to disappear...and in their places, black spots formed! "Wow! I didn't know you were painted!" said Kink. "I-I'm not! It must be a glitch with the pool. Hey! I feel better...I'm cured!" she said, surprised. They got out of the water, their paws squelching and wet. After a good shake they prepared to leave for home (finally!) "SNORT! ACHOO!" "Are you ok?" said Kink. "Uh..it wasn't me, kougra." "Then wha--" but before he could finish, a huge, oozing ball of snot and loogie bounced up to them...it was Meuka! The aisha screamed, and Kink shrieked, and the giant snotball loomed ominiously over them. The huge booger began to laugh at the two terrified pets. It was all very frightening. "Heh heh heh...ha HA HA HA!" It boomed its laugh, and it shook. It shook so much that snot came off and landed on the little aisha. Horrified, Kink looked at her. She looked shocked..and then she sneezed. She sat down suddenly, and sneezed again. She couldn't stop! Kink looked at her in fear, not knowing quite what to do. He ran away into the darkness. The aisha choked, sneezed, and screamed, all alone and wide eyed in front of the mass of plague-y, disease ridden, green phlegm. "Ha ha HA! You see dad kougra...he rud away from da great MEUGGA!!" Sounding rather congested, it jiggled and dripped as it laughed, and the aisha shook in fright. "Aishas daste good for didder! DA HA ha!" But before he could absorb the aisha and turn her cute adorableness into snot as well, a lemon flew out of nowhere and landed on the snotball. It was Kink, with a huge pile of fruit! "You tink dad hurt me? A piece of frood! Ha Ha HA...Vat da--" the lemon, enlodged in the snot, began to sizzle and a smelly steam came off the disgusting lump. Kink hurled an orange, looking angry. "You got her sick...AGAIN! you (*expletive deleted that would get my account frozen*)!!" Meuka was bewildered, the citrus fruits were leaving holes in his snot! The aisha looked at Kink, sneezing and wide eyed. "You didn't think I'd leave, did ya?" He grinned, "Starve a fever...feed a cold!!" Kink shouted, throwing more fresh produce at the thing. Meuka backed up in shock...wherever the fruits touched, he was dripping away. "How...How are you doing dis to me?" "Tee hee hee...vitamin C! Its good for you!" Unwilling to risk becoming sanitized, Meuka rolled off, leaving a putrid, gooey trail behind him. "Yeah, take that!" Kink then ran over to his shivering companion, "Are you all right, little aisha?" he paused. "What's your name, anyhow?" "It's...Jill Annie..." (but she was congested, so it sounded more like "Jiladdie" and from that Kink thought he heard "Jalanii". The kougra thought it sounded weird, but this was Neopia, and lots of neopets had wierd names) "Ah...that's nice! My name is Kink." He looked around. "We've go to get you home!" Then, remembering the decrepit houses, he felt bad for saying it. "I dont know where I live...I moved from Terror Mountain because I kept getting sick. Then I got lost and you found me." She sneezed. "Well, you can live with us." "Would *achoo!* you really led be?" she said with a sigh. "Yeah...if we can figure out how to get there. You're probably too tired to walk, huh?" She nodded. As they spoke, something came up slowly behind them...Kink's ears twitched and he turned to look behind him. A huge face glared at him...with a giant jaw and chomping mandibles!! It was the skeith! "Aaaaaaaaaaah!" cried Kink. "Aaaaa-*hackcough*" cried Jalanii. It looked at them. It reached out its grimy, gripping, gnarled claws. Kink cowered back...he closed his eyes and braced himself. Then... "You left it in the alley," the skeith dropped a golden letter "a" in front of them, "I thought you were dead, and it was all pretty and shiny so I took it. But you're not dead. So you can have it back now. Uh...Sorry." Kink was disgusted, but nevertheless graciously thanked the skeith for the thing's return. As horrible as it was that this skeith would steal from dead neopets, the fact that it had followed them all the way from the alley just to give back the aisha's tag made Jalanii forgive him instantly. She had a soft heart, and she didnt want to make him angry anyway. Kink whispered to Jalanii. Then he said, "Thank you...sir. Do you think you could give us a ride home? We'll give you this er..thing in return." He held out the "A". "Yeah, sure. Uh...yeah. Ok." the tag was actually brass, so it was a good deal. The ride on the skeith's back was bumpy, but they were so tired that it didn't matter to them. They finally got home, just as the sun came up. Moradicus was sitting with a furrowed brow at the porch. He jumped up when he saw them coming. Jalanii and Kink thanked the Skeith and it trodded off. Moradicus ran up to them, and yelled, "What were you thinking, stupid? I cant believe you got lost!" Jalanii yawned, curled up, and fell asleep on the driveway. Kink, looking upset at the chastizing, lowered his head. He paused, then he grinned up at the Zafara. "What?" Moradicus said, scowling. "Oh no, nuh uh, nothing." Kink said, looking off in another direction. Then he glanced at Moradicus and giggled. "Seriously, what? Why are you looking at me like that?" Moradicus was puzzled. "You were.....WAITING for us weren't you?" He said, his voice oozing with obnoxious love. "NO!!! I was NOT!" Moradicus bellowed. "Yez, you weeerrrre. Why else would you be out on the porch at 6 am? Huh? huh?" Kink smiled mischeviously. "No...why you! I-I couldnt sleep." "Yeah right!" "I couldn't!" Then, before things got ugly, Gryffith and Monkigirl came out of the house, brought them all inside and gave them warm blankets and hot chocolate. The cure for sneezles was administered, and soon they were all around the fireplace listening to Kink's story, with Jalanii drowsing off in the corner. Moradicus tried to look like he wasn't interested. Monkigirl laughed at the story and thought that Kink was exaggerating about his defeat of Meuka (he wasn't). She passed around blueberry scones. Blueberries reminded Kink of berries...Berries reminded him of the coffee he was going to buy...Kink drooled. THE END!!! OOH YAY WASNT THAT LOVELY?

Likes et Dislikes

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*Jalanii runs up wearing rubber gloves and holding a bottle of pine-sol* I was just scrubbing a bit *pant pant* but I'm done now. I have likes and dislikes here because everybody's got them on their page, right? I dont want to break a tradition. Well, enjoy yourself.

Likes Orange!!! Can't you tell? Clorox...*sings* Jalanii's got the magic of...clor-ox! My family. Especially Kink45...He saved my life once. Cleaning! It's my favorite past-time. Harrises...hopefully one day monkigirl90 will buy one! They groom themselves, y'know.

Dislikes Germs, microbes, whatever you want to call them! I will send them to their doooom!*laughs maniacally* Chias *shudders* They remind me of ameobas!! Meuka. Terror mountain. It's so cold! What a terrible place. Sometimes Monkigirl90 even makes us try to steal from the snowager! That's so scarrry!!

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Tips for Sick Pets

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*She eyes you suspiciously and checks your hands for cleanliness before she continues*. Many of you have been sick before, and maybe some pets haven't... *looks envious*...but no matter what, you are going to need these tips sooner or later! Since I am sick so often, I have become a seasoned expert on what to do when you are sick and at home with nothing to do.

Nooo! Dont look, I'm not done yet! *covers page with paws*