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MERIDELL- You've heard about it, you've seen pictures of it, but you don't
know much about it. All you know is that your friends are coming away from this
"thing" with free faeries in their pockets, and you're stuck at your tiny little
NeoHome eating King Skarl's petpet's leftovers. Well, my friend, you're probably
thinking about the Meridell Rubbish Dump, whether you know it or not.
So you've always wondered what makes a dump? Well, I don't know. I've never
been brave enough to dig into one. But I do know the priceless treasures that
lie on the outside of the dump. Priceless, as in an endless cycle that follows
a pattern that goes something like this:
1) You get dung from Pick Your Own.
2) You donate it to the dump.
3) The Pick Your Own farmers pick up your donated dung.
4) Repeat.
Because of this cycle the dung is worthless, so most people don't even put
it in their shop for 1 NP, thus making it priceless and worthless at the same
time. Now you can have priceless treasures of all your own! Just remember to
keep these priceless treasures out of your NeoHome unless on special occasions,
or else you might be surprised at the smell some treasures give off.
With every dump there is a friendly caretaker, and this dump has one as well.
Well, kind of. The Meridell Dump's caretaker meets 1 of the 2 requirements,
and that's the fact that he's a caretaker. I suppose there were a lot of "Double
or Nothing" winners, and so King Skarl was forced to hire a second-rate caretaker.
Not as friendly as the Money Tree, this guy can be pretty mean when angry,
which surprisingly tends to be quite often. You can just see the look of evil
on his face. I didn't even want to do an interview with him. I suspect he's
secretly working for broadband in disguise, forcing everyone who wants something
at his dump to pay for high-speed Internet. Or maybe that's just me. But anyway,
if at all possible, stay clear of this guy while dump digging.
Also coming with your typically dump, there will be some decent donators. That's
true in this dump too. From King Skarl to the Dung Faerie, (you're going to
have to ask Donna about this one, but I HAVE seen donations made by this mysterious
Faerie of dung) the Meridell Rubbish Dump has it's fair share of unique donators.
I really doubt they have plumbing in Meridell though, because even King Skarl
is donating his dung. Apparently, some people have mistaken the Meridell Dump
for the Meridell toilet.
But anyway, the best donator award would have to go to the Meridell Castle
Cleaners. With such an elegant name, I had a hunch from the start that these
guys were going to achieve greatness. Maybe one day they'll achieve true greatness
and be featured in the Caption Contest, so that some lucky Neopet can win by
forcing one cleaner to say, "Hey, we're in the Caption Contest." Rest assured
someone always wins with that famous quote.
Though the Meridell Castle Cleaners often get the spotlight, there some names
that you'll commonly see that do also deserve some credit. They're still donators;
they just don't get the special treatment the castle cleaners do. Some may take
pity on these poor souls, but I found that these overlooked donators usually
have some reasons why they are shoved out of the spotlight. I've compiled a
short list to share with you all.
King Skarl: Lied about an orb with that contained ultimate power. Is still
looked down upon today.
A Passing Meerca: Is commonly laughed at because he claims that he "got tied
to a tree by his tail." The Meerca claims the guy who did it said afterwards,
"I got the idea from The Neopian Times."
Dung Faerie: Don't ask...
Farmer Boggins: Nobody has ever seen Farmer Boggins other than the evil caretaker
himself, so he never even had a chance at the spotlight. I suspect he's also
working for Broadband.
Farmer Ted: Gave dung out on Halloween. Was chased out of the neighborhood
by an angry mob, but has recently been sighted within Meridell again.
Farmer Sid: Works at "Pick Your Own." Do I need say more?
And now you know why everyone else is commonly shoved out of spotlight. The
Meridell Castle Cleaners are the only donators without a criminal record.
Even if there were an opponent to rival these first class cleaners, they'd win
by default because their rival would likely have a record of injustice too.
Remember kids, don't give dung out on Halloween or you risk being run out of
your neighborhood.
Last, but not least, the donations. Without these guys, the dump would've never
become the pile of dung it is today. Though rarely bottled faeries from other
ends of Neopia have been sighted at the dump, most of the donations are Meridell
classics. Who'd want a Faerie anyway when you can have these kind of items:
Squished Tomato seems to be a dump favorite, and with a side of Meridell Gravy,
you could keep your Neopet full of great food forever. Perhaps a pile of dung
would suit your interests better. After all, dung around your fireplace seems
all the rage nowadays. A bit of barbed wire on your house around Christmas time
will get sympathy from all, and trying to grow strange green seeds into a beanstalk
will probably get you into a mental help institute for free.
Who knows? With a little luck, hard work, broadband connection, and help from
the Meridell Rubbish Dump, you could have the greatest NeoHome that Neopia has
ever seen. Now, to start working on the user lookup...
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