| Three creatures were flying through the clean, cool morning
air of Neopia. Rosie, a Faerie Ixi, Sebastian, a Faerie Lupe, and Albert, a Faerie
Chia. Two other creatures were making their way along by foot: a Faerie Aisha
named Harriet and a very large rock named Spot. Harriet had hooked Spot up to
a leash, but progress was still slow for him.
Rosie did a 180 in midair, turning to look at
Harriet and Spot. "Will you guys hurry up? I think I saw Mrs. Prenderghast down
there, and she's beating us to the corner!" she called down at the Aisha and
Spot.
"I can't help it that I'm a slow walker! Writer's
Blocks aren't built for marathons!" Spot called back, tears leaking down his
igneous face, causing long streaks of rust to form.
Harriet dropped the leash. "I'm tired. Let's
take a break," she said.
Sebastian, Albert, and Rosie landed on the ground
next to their friends. "Another break? Didn't we just stop five minutes ago?"
whined Sebastian.
"Spot and I are tired! Right, Spot?" said Harriet,
turning to Spot, who was still crying.
"Fine," Rosie said, sitting down.
"So, do you have any idea where we should go,
Albert?" asked Sebastian.
"Well, I was thinking of the Lost Desert, myself,"
he replied.
"Why?" questioned Sebastian.
Albert whipped out a laptop computer from his
bag and began punching keys uncontrollably.
Harriet sighed, and looked at Spot's puzzled
expression. "It's a unnatural habit. In his mind, every question can be answered
by a simple scientific explanation. In our minds, it's a psychological disorder,"
she whispered.
Spot nodded.
Albert looked up. "My hypothesis is this," he
started.
Rosie groaned.
Albert sighed. "Fine. I'll spare you my hypothesis.
I just was thinking that we might ask the late King Coltzan. He's fairly wise,
and he might know where Jay is, or who kidnapped him in the first place," he
said.
Rosie, Sebastian, and Harriet nodded. "Good
thinking, Albert!" exclaimed Harriet.
"Well, let's get going! At our current pace,"
Albert said, looking at Spot apprehensively and lowering his voice, "we should
reach the Lost Desert by noon."
At precisely half-past noon, the five arrived
in the Lost Desert. The sands lashed at their faces and burnt their scalps.
All sorts of creatures ran around, carrying mounds of goods and draped in loose
white attire that protected them from the harsh sands of the desert.
"Now, where's Coltzan's Shrine?" asked Harriet.
The five looked around, past the castles and
tents, and in the far north corner of the village, there was a tall monolith.
A sign, slightly battered from wind, clearly read, "COLTZAN'S SHRINE".
"Is that it?" Harriet asked, pointing at the
monolith.
"No kidding, Captain Obvious!" growled Sebastian.
"And her faithful sidekick, Duh!" responded
Albert, wittily.
Rosie glared at the now hysterical Sebastian
and Albert, and turned to Harriet. "Yes, that's probably his Shrine," she said
sweetly, not noticing Albert and Sebastian giving each other high-fives behind
her back.
The five wandered up to the tall shrine engraved
with ancient symbols. An extremely long and twisted line of creatures from far
and wide were lined up outside the Shrine, awaiting Coltzan's advice and needed
support. The League took their place in the line behind a red Moehog and waited.
The Moehog turned to them. "G'day!" he said,
cheerfully. "Lookin' for the ol' King Coltzan?"
"No kidding, Captai-" Sebastian started, but
Rosie elbowed him quite hard in the ribcage.
Harriet nodded at the Moehog. "Why are you here?"
she asked.
"Ehh... came off a bit on the worse side in
a fight the other day. Hopin' that ol' Coltzan can help me out a bit," the Moehog
said.
"Oh! Who were you fighting? The Pant Devil?
The Ghost Lupe? The Shadow Usul?" Sebastian asked.
"Nah, none of them," the Moehog said, looking
positively horrified at the thought. "I was fighting that Punchbag Bob. Mean
one, he is. Got a mean streak, he does..."
Sebastian opened his mouth to reply to this,
but received another hefty punch in the ribs from Rosie.
"Ah," Harriet said, struggling to find suitable
words. She started many sentences, but never finished them. Finally she managed
to blurt out, "Chipper weather for a Weewoo, isn't it, Charlie?"
"Who's Charlie?" asked the Moehog. "My name's
Neowriter."
Rosie pushed her four companions onward through
the line, and finally they reached the sand dune before the tall tower of Coltzan's
Shrine. Neowriter the Moehog waved goodbye to them, holding a large bundle of
burnt desert food that he had just received.
"Okay, how do we talk to Coltzan, exactly?"
Rosie muttered to Albert, as she waved Neowriter away.
"I'm not sure," Albert muttered back, and began
to start typing furiously on his computer. "Maybe it's got something to do with
times..."
Sebastian looked at him in pity. "What kind
of king runs a shrine based on TIME?"
Harriet had ignored the rest of the League,
and had already approached the Shrine. "Oh, mighty Coltzan of much importance,
give us your wisdomosity and generosity, and... and... magnificantosity.."
"Wisdomosity?" hissed Rosie.
But nonetheless, a ghostly shadow of the head
of King Coltzan had appeared in the sky above. "I will do what I can to help
you," it said, looking down at the League of Super Authors. "What can I do for
you?"
Sebastian stepped forward. "We need you to help
us find a red Eyrie named Jay! He's our friend, and he's missing! Have you seen
him?"
Coltzan bit his lip in thought. "Hmm... can't
say that I haven't seen a red Eyrie lately. I help many people, but I have grown
to the age where I can't remember everybody that I see."
"Grown to the age? You're dead!" Albert exclaimed,
causing Rosie to poke him in the ribs.
"So I am," said Coltzan, looking a bit puzzled.
"Never mind that," Rosie interjected. "You haven't
seen a red Eyrie named Jay? Have you seen anything remotely... well, odd happen
lately?"
Coltzan bit his lip again. "Hmm... I'm not sure.
Many odd things have been happening lately, too many, too many..."
"Like what?"
But Coltzan seemed to be off in his own little
world, chanting, "Too many... too many..."
Albert sighed. "Let's go. He's seen nothing,
and all we have as evidence that Jay was kidnapped is this little note," he
said.
"Note?" Coltzan said sharply. "I've seen a note.
Got one yesterday, from some weird chap in a cloak. He just left it here, guess
he didn't want it." Coltzan shrugged, causing two low-hanging clouds to change
directions. Coltzan pointed to a small, wrinkled note that lay half-buried in
the sand next to his Shrine.
Sebastian ran forward and picked it up. Smoothing
it out, he read:
"Leeg uv supr athors:
HAHAHAHAA! u hav net found uz yet! HAHAHA!
u r smelly! & u r stoopid! j is nvr coming bak! we hav him! u thot he wuz @
coltzanz and he wuznt! u smelly stoopid supr athors! we hav teken him 2 a plaze
dat dunt exist! soh u will nvr find him! HAHAHAHA!
luv NOT- DUNT U STILL WISH U NEW!!!
P.S. dis not wil self-deestuck ine tan sekkies."
Sebastian looked at everybody else. "What's
a tan sekkie?"
But the question answered itself. The note grew
so hot, Sebastian dropped it onto the sand in surprise. There it exploded, sending
char and ash high into the air, and lay in a crumpled heap of smoking paper
on the ground.
"Tan sekkies! That was hardly tree!" yelled
Harriet.
Looking around at the rest of her companions,
Rosie said, "Now what? We haven't any clues! Jay's obviously in trouble... but...
Albert, what are you doing now?"
Albert was sitting on the sand dune in front
of the monolith, typing away for his dear life on his computer. "Carry a three,
times pi, to the square root of the amount of time it takes light to travel..."
Albert muttered to himself.
Rosie, Harriet, Sebastian, and Spot sighed collectively.
The line behind the Super Authors was beginning to grow restless.
"C'MON! MOVE IT!"
"WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY, YOU KNOW!"
"SAVE SOME SPHINX LINKS FOR US, YOU MOEHOGS!"
Rosie went to calm down the angry crowd, while
Harriet, Spot, and Sebastian went over to Albert. Albert cried out in happiness,
"I've got it! I know where they've taken Jay!"
"Where?" asked Spot.
"The land that doesn't exist!" Albert said triumphantly.
"...and that would be?" Sebastian said.
"JELLY WORLD!"
Oh, please, Albert, don't you know that there
IS NO JELLY WORLD?
To be continued...
Oh! Erm... what will happen next? Will the (snort) Super Authors (giggle)
make it to (guffaw) Jelly World? Will they ever rescue Jay? And not to mention
Bill! Find out in the next thrilling chapter of... Jay and the Super Authors
Strike Back!
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