THE GALLERY OF EVIL - From time to time some evil villain with dreams of controlling
Neopia comes along. But then they wind up going. But where do they go? We usually
hear no news of what happens to them after their notorious plot for world destruction
has failed. So if you're among the many people wondering where Dr. Sloth is
now, what Hubrid Nox is doing or whether or not Dr. Death really is the Grim
Reaper's second cousin, read on.
Dr. Frank Sloth
The Story: After being defeated by the Space Faerie in Year 2, we have
barely heard word of him since. Most Neopians believe that he is somewhere up
in space with a few of his most loyal minions, biding his time and brewing up
another plan for world domination.
Where is he now? Contrary to popular belief, he is probably residing
in Faerieland. What is he doing in Faerieland? Winning the affections of the
lovely Ms. Jhudora, of course! And it's possible that Jhudora is just as interested
in him, but for other, more sinister reasons (could it be that Jhudora is only
using Frank as a tool in her own plot to dominate the world? Or is that the
exact reason why Dr. Sloth is trying to win her love in the first place? This
relationship could get messy...)
Count Von Roo
The Story: This infamous Count lives deep in the Haunted Forest, and
hosts the Deadly Dice by night.
And during the day? This toothy villain could be living up to his childhood
dream of being the Tooth Faerie. I had a little chat with the Water Faerie of
the Healing Springs recently while waiting for her to regain some of her powers
of Healing, and she mentioned that the Tooth Faerie had taken a mysterious leave
of absence from her usual rounds of money-giving. She returned, but with a marked
change in her sweet demeanor.
"She has an odd habit of asking us what our blood type is," The Water Faerie
remarked.
Is the coffin where Count Von Roo supposedly sleeps during the day secretly
filled with his tooth collection? And why is he pretending to be a tooth Faerie
in the first place? Maybe he wants some normal teeth to replace his fanged ones
(he must have been teased in Neoschool about them. And that unfashionable collar
he wears).
Hubrid Nox
The Story: Hubrid Nox is known for his constant scheming to conquer
some part of Neopia. He lives alone in the woods, because he prefers not to
be disturbed.
Where is he now? Wondering why us innocent *cough* Neopians haven't
been subjected to any of his nefarious plans yet, I conducted a short interview
with his Nox's arch enemy MAGAX: Destroyer, in pursuit of finding some answers
to my questions.
Me: Hello Mr. Destroyer, how are you today?
MAGAX: Well I have a slight cold *sniffs* but I am otherwise in perfect
health, thank you.
Me: How lovely. Well, I was wondering if you could tell me anything
about Hubrid Nox's evil plans.
MAGAX: Certainly. Hubrid has some strange idea that if he can steal
all the chocolate in Neopia, he will be able to use it as blackmail to force
everybody to give him the materials he needs to take over Neopia. He has not
yet been successful, but naturally there are guards stationed around the Chocolate
Factory day and night.
Me: And he is convinced that everyone will obey his commands all for
some chocolate?
MAGAX: Yes! And I think it's a wonderful plan. Why, if I hadn't spent
so much time building up my reputation against Hubrid Nox I would go and join
him right now!
Me: Erm.. that's very interesting, Mr. Destroyer. I'm sure that the
millions of readers of The Neopian Times will just love to hear that.
MAGAX: Neopian Times?! What? NO!
And that concluded my little interview with MAGAX: Destroyer. Remember to play
his game today! *Smile*
Lord Darigan
The Story: When Meridell stole the magical orb from his people, Lord
Darigan would stop at nothing to get it back. When he did, however, it corrupted
him and drove him to domination of Neopia (where have we heard that before?
Villains don't go much for originality do they..). Eventually, however, Darigan
and the orb were destroyed. Yelch.
Where is he now? Could a silly old orb really destroy the mighty Lord
Darigan? Of course not. It could, however, reduce him to a life of hot dog vending
instead of ruling the world. Yep, Hubert's Hot Dogs kindly took Lord Darigan
on after his fall from power (and they pay him 24 Neopoints an hour, too!).
Hubert declined to comment when approached with this matter, but on my way out
I did notice that a certain skull-headed person had secured himself the Employee
of the Month position.
Today, cleaning up spilled ketchup off the floor. Tomorrow, the world.
The Jelly Chia
The Story: Enraged at the attempt to be eaten by his creator, this Jelly
Chia got his revenge by eating his creator instead.
Where is he now? After saving himself from being eaten by the deranged
Wizzle, the miserable Jelly Chia sought therapy for himself. "He is making excellent
progress," said Dr. Lenny Mudlump, the Jelly Chia's psychiatrist. "I recommended
becoming a Battledome challenger to ventilate some of his anger, and it is working
wonders. Sometimes he gets a bit too worked up and eats his opponent, but it's
all part of the process, really."
The Pant Devil
The Story: The Pant Devil wanders all over Neopia, randomly stealing
the possessions of innocent bystanders.
Where is he now? I located the Pant Devil wearing a uniform in Uni's Clothing,
in the Neopian Bazaar. He was waving a gloomy goodbye to a group of young Usuls
who were running as fast as they could in other direction and screaming (maybe
they spotted his nametag, which read Hello! I am the Pant Devil and seemed like
a bit of a giveaway). Me: Why are you working in Uni's Clothing now? Pant Devil:
Well, I started to get tired of stealing from people all the time, and I didn't
want people to be confused by my name *gestures to the name tag*. So I decided
to take up the fashion industry, here in the Undergarments Department. Me: Lovely.
So why did you stop stealing? Pant Devil: Well after so many years all my loot
just wouldn't fit in my safety deposit box anymore. I took it as a sign. Me: But
why do you need a safety deposit box? Nobody is going to steal from you. Pant
Devil: *Blinks* Uh. No comment.
And there you are! Hopefully this article on the current careers of Neopia's
various villains has been educational *cough* or at least entertaining to you.
Have an evil day!
Author's Note: Believing the absurd contents of this article could be hazardous
to your health. In other words, Count Von Roo is not posing as the Tooth Faerie
and (hopefully) the Pant Devil is not working in the Undergarments department
of Uni's Clothing. Oh, and the Grim Reaper is not Dr. Death's second cousin.
If you're still having trouble clearing all this nonsense out of your head,
just repeat after me: I will not take nightchild seriously, I will not take
nightchild seriously, I will not take nightchild seriously...
| 
