NFS: Could You Be Next? by chewytwizzler |  |
NEOPIA CENTRAL - Every year, countless Neopians fall victim to an insidious, slow
moving disease. The statistics are on such a huge scale that it is impossible
to track down all those who are affected. After all… they never appear again.
Did I grab your attention? Oooh, good. I thought the dramatic opening would
be the best. But seriously folks, I'm not just babbling. The disease I mentioned
in the paragraph above is a real one: N.F.S.
N.F.S, you say, but that's not even a real word! Well, that's true. Words
usually have vowels or else people can't pronounce them, and they get so frustrated
they do something like boot a Kadoatie up a tree. For the sake of the Kadoaties,
I'll explain: the letters of N.F.S. spell out Neopian Fatigue Syndrome.
Surely you have many questions. So, sit down (preferably on a chair) and I'll
explain the who's, what's, and how's of the matter.
What does Neopian Fatigue Syndrome really mean?
It means you get tired of playing Neopets. For example, if you feed your Neopets
omelettes so much that they get so sick of eating them, they will say they will
run away to Meri Acres Farm, right? Erm, I think that's a good example. So,
in your case, you get so tired of playing Neopets you don't ever want to come
back.
Who can catch it?/ When can it strike?
Oh, anybody can get it at anytime! Poor, rich, oldie, newbie. So don't think
you're exempt. I - yes, I, chewytwizzler - have gotten it many times myself!
That is, before I invented - well, we'll get to that.
What's the cause of NFS?
Well, in my experience, it comes down to one of two scenarios:
1. You've played Neopets for a very long time, and you've been very successful.
You know… you have a Cloud Neohome in Faerieland, you created a megapopular
comic strip and your pets are a household name, you're popular with the Faeries,
etc etc. YOU catch N.F.S. because you feel like you've done everything Neopia
has to offer, and there's just 'no point' to playing anymore.
2. You've played Neopets for a very short time, or you haven't done very well.
You're still struggling to make ends meet, you have no Neofriends, you've considered
making a tree house in the branches of the Money Tree, etc etc. YOU catch N.F.S.
Because you aren't happy with your situation and think maybe it's best you just
give up!
In either case, don't give up just quite yet! At long last, after long ages
of helplessness, I have formulated a 99% foolproof antidote to Neopian Fatigue
Syndrome. I call it: NIMMO.
Now, now, put your Nimmo down, for Fyora's sake. I didn't mean it literally!
It's another one of those acronyms, and each letter stands for a rule that you
should follow. Sooo….
Cure Yourself With NIMMO:
1. Never force yourself to play a game.
That's right. If you hate a game, don't play it! This may seem obvious, but
the reason I say it is this: just because a game gives good NP doesn't mean
you should suffer through playing it.
For example, I hate Kiko Match with a burning passion and will never play
it, even though I could use the Neopoints. If you ignore this rule, you'll get
so sick of playing games you'll find excuses not to. Then you won't have any
spending money later on, and would you want to play Neopets if you never had
any spending money? Nuh-uh? I thought so.
2. Instead of the same games every day, rotate.
This is similar to the first rule. If you play the same games every day, you'll
get bored playing them, and again you won't have NP later on. So, try to find
a wide variety of games, and switch them around so that you never play a game
to death.
3. Make time for your pet.
Remember, the site is called NeoPETS, not NeoPOINTS. I'm a splurge shopper by
nature, but I find that spoiling my pet makes me feel happier with myself and
more excited about Neopets in general. So, out of all those Neopoints you earned
by not forcing yourself and by rotating games, try to get your pet a little
surprise now and then. It doesn't have to be expensive - I personally reward
my pet with the lower priced Usuki sets. (Of course, my pet is a female Wocky.
If you have a particularly fierce male Skeith or Jetsam or something, I wouldn't
use Usukis, they're not very masculine toys.)
4. Make time to explore.
This is one of the most important rules. The fact is, even if you rotate your
games and buy things for your pet, if all you do when you login is play games
and collect your freebies, Neopets can become very dull. The key is to explore
everything Neopets has to offer.
But chewytwizzler, you say, I've seen the all the worlds! How about reading
the Neopedia, then? It's got tons of information and stories on everything you
could dream up. Or, visit the Neopian Adventure Generator. There are plenty
of adventures for you to try out, different each time.
5. ONLY act after careful consideration.
If you follow all the rules and are still absolutely sick of Neopets, then I
don't blame you for wanting to pull a Maraqua. But take a break and don't log
in for a while BEFORE you delete you account and stick your pets in the pound.
That's the kind of action you can't reverse, and you may find that after a break
you do want to come back.
- Wow, folks, we've reached the end of this spellbinding lesson. Just follow
the rules of NIMMO, and hopefully you'll never have to worry about the threat
of Neopian Fatigue Syndrome! Stay well and happy! G'night folks.
Author's note: If this makes it into the Times it'll be the first time
I've been published. In which case I'd like to thank my Neofriends, and especially
arden_starr, for inspiring me. And of course thank you to the readers, feedback
welcome!
|
