Stenchpaw sighed dejectedly from his desk, staring blankly out his window.
It was pleasant outside, but, Stenchpaw thought, there wasn’t anyone
pleasant to share the day with. His dung house (thankfully solidified and
smell-proofed) seemed to feel like a prison. With another dejected sigh, Stenchpaw
turned on the radio. “I wish I had someone to be talking to with…” Stenchpaw
lamented. “But they all seem to be repelled by something…” Stenchpaw didn’t
realize that he had a particularly odious odor, and everyone he knew was too
polite to comment. Stenchpaw listened to the blues. “Too… what’s the word… depressing.”
Stenchpaw changed the station.
The radio blared up, playing a loud advertisement. “Wishing you had someone
to be talking to with?” The radio personality mused. “Feeling lonely because
you’re ugly in some way?” Stenchpaw sniffed. “Than have we got the thing for
you! PEN PALS!!”
Stenchpaw raised an eyebrow. “A pal of the pen?”
“Yes, the pal of the pen! Pen pals are the easiest ways to strengthen your
social life!” Stenchpaw looked at the copy of Learning Social Skills
lying on his shelf, scratching his chin thoughtfully. “Hm…” “All you have to
do is send a letter to Pen Pal Palace, PO Box 999, Aisha Avenue in Neopia Central,
and in no time, your new friend will respond!”
Stenchpaw snatched a pen, writing down the address on an envelope in front
of him. “This is PERFECT!” Stenchpaw remarked excitedly, snatching a sheet of
stationary and writing a quick letter. “I shall soon have a friend who will
not judge me for the way I look! Just like talking on the telephone, no?” Stenchpaw
stuffed the letter into the envelope. Raising it to his mouth, he licked it.
"OWCH! I HATH CUTH THE TONG!" Stenchpaw yelped, sticking out his tongue.
He set the letter down near the window, running to the kitchen to find first
aid. Suddenly, a curious head poked its way through the window. “Hm… no one
around, as far as I can see.”
Creeper, the undersized Aisha thief, jumped onto the desk, looking around carefully.
“Yuck. Nothing but garbage,” Creeper muttered. He turned around to leave, but
something caught his eye. “Huh…” Creeper picked up the letter. “Pen Pal Palace?”
A shifty smile spread across his masked face as he reached for the letter. Suddenly,
Creeper heard a crash from the kitchen. He swiftly dodged out the window as
Stenchpaw returned to the room, holding an ice pack onto his tongue.
He picked up his letter. “Perapth thith cut ith a baa omenth, no?”
Suddenly, the mail Aisha appeared, peering in through the window. “Top O’ the
morning to ya, laddie!” The bizarre Aisha winked. “What ho, I’m guessin’ that
would be a letter for me!” He added, looking at the letter in Stenchpaw’s paw.
Stenchpaw frowned. “Uh, do we not usually have a Mail CHIA to deliver the mail?”
“Yes, but he’s sick today.” Creeper could barely take Stenchpaw’s obvious stench,
but he smiled all the same through his mail disguise.
“Well, I suppose you could take it…” Creeper snatched the letter, grinning.
“I’ll be seein’ ya tomorrow to deliver the mail! So long!”
“Adieu!” Stenchpaw nodded as he shut the window.
Creeper jumped off his stilts and threw off his mail jacket, putting his mask
back on. “Let’s see what this ridiculous Lupe is sending out.” He opened up
the letter and began reading it as he headed for his hideout…
Creeper’s Hideout…
Creeper pulled down a branch on a tree. The ground beneath the tiny tree rose
into the air, to reveal an elevator shaft underneath. Creeper hopped in, pressing
a button, his nose still in the letter he had stolen…
“DEAR FRIEND,
MY NAME IS STENCHPAW. MY ENGLISH IS NOT VERY GOOD, BUT I TRY TO RIGHT ANYWAYS.
I WOULD NOW LIKE TO BE DESCRIBED MYSELF. I AM SKUNK LUPE, AND I AM LIVE IN A
LUPE FOREST. I LIKE SMELLING FLOWER AND GARDENING, BUT I AM LATELY VERY ALONE.
MAYBE WE COULD BE GOOD FRIEND, NO? PLEASE RESPOND NOT LATER.
SINCERELY,
STENCHPAW.”
Creeper finished the letter, sitting down in his stolen-stuff warehouse. “Hm…
so the foolhardy Lupe is ‘lately very alone,’ huh?” Creeper reached into his
disguise kit, pulling out an enormous false moustache. He got onto his stilts,
balancing himself carefully and walking around a little bit to get used to them.
Then, he put on a sombrero and a poncho. Sticking the moustache onto his face,
Creeper cleared his throat. “Hola mi amigo! Me nombre es Senor Aishiro! Y tu?”
Giggling, he removed the disguise. “This will be the perfect plan to rob that
pathetic loser of a Lupe blind. Now, for a little return letter from ‘Senor
Aishiro…’”
The Next Morning…
Stenchpaw eagerly stood by the mailbox, drumming his paw on the metal container
of mail and waiting anxiously. Suddenly, there was a roar. A truck pulled up
in front of Stenchpaw’s house.
“MAIL!!” The uniformed yellow Mail Chia screamed, frightened out of his wits.
He hurled a letter at him. Looking in the rearview mirror, the Chia turned pale.
“PLEASE, MAKE THEM STOP CHASING ME!! MY LIFE IS TORTURED ENOUGH AS IT IS!”
“Oh well… I hope you feel better later. Well, thank you!” Stenchpaw replied,
bending over to pick up his mail. Suddenly, a savage growl emitted from over
the hill near Stenchpaw’s house.
“PIFFLE…” The mail Chia screamed, putting his foot down on the pedal and bellowing
for help. Several Lupes chased after the speeding truck, howling and closing
in on their prey.
Stenchpaw, astonished, picked up the letter, ignoring the Mail Chia’s anguished
screams of pain. “Hm… a reply…” Hurrying into the house, Stenchpaw opened it
up…
“DEAR FRIEND,
HOLA! MY NAME IS EL AISHIRO! I LIVE IN A TINY TOWN CALLED HOT SAUCE IN SOUTHWESTERN
NEOPIA. IT’S NOTHING BUT DUSTY DRY DESERT DOWN HERE. I CAN WRITE ENGLISH VERY
WELL, BUT I STILL HAVE TROUBLE SPEAKING IT. I LOVE GARDENING WITH MY DRY CACTUS
PLANTS, AND I AM CURRENTLY VERY LONELY. PLEASE RESPOND SOON.
YOUR AMIGO,
AISHIRO.”
“Sacre Bleau! Southwestern Neopia is very far from here!” Stenchpaw observed.
“It must also be very hard for them to send mail in such a small town, no? Well,
this is very nice of him!” Stenchpaw grabbed his pen and began writing a response…
Creeper’s Hideout…
There was a knock on Creeper’s hidden door. Creeper hurried over and threw
it open. There stood the miserably mangled Mail Chia, with a letter in his paw.
“You… er… Senor Aisho?” He mumbled.
“Yep.” Creeper replied.
The Mail Chia handed him a letter. “This came for you…”
Creeper took it. “Oh great! It’s here!”
Creeper slammed the door in his face.
The Mail Chia picked up his bag, grumbling. “One of these days, I just might
snap…”
Stenchpaw’s House…
Stenchpaw looked out of his window. The Mail Chia was dragging himself down
the street, clutching onto his bag of letters desperately. Apparantly, the Chia-hating
Lupe had caught up with him. Stenchpaw dashed outside as the Mail Chia pointed
a letter at him. “Mail… Call…” He moaned, his black eye throbbing with pain.
Stenchpaw picked it up. “Merci, Monseiur.” He handed him a get-well soon card,
then ran back into the house.
“It’s those kind of pets that make me love my job…” The Mailchia smiled. Suddenly,
a red Lupe snatched the poor Mailchia by its leg, dragging him away…
The Next Day…
The Mail Chia hacked his way with a club through a gang of Lupes that had
cornered him earlier. “BACK, YOU CURS!” He yelled, beating his way out of the
angry mob. Dashing up to Stenchpaw’s mailbox, he threw a letter in before closing
his helmet and charging through the Lupes again. “GET OUT OF MY WAY!! I HAVE
A PACKAGE TO DELIVER!!” He bellowed. With a wild war cry (ALIIEEEEEEEEYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAAAA!!!)
He threw himself into the fray, proving that be it rain, be it hail, be it rabid
Lupes, nothing will stop a Mail Chia from completing his assigned rounds…
After Several Weeks…
The Mail Chia looked stealthily, left and right. He finally crawled towards
Stenchpaw’s mailbox, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. Suddenly,
Hollypaw, a Christmas lupe who DID NOT like Chias, ran into him. “HEY!” She
yelled. “Watch where you're going!”
The Mail Chia nearly leapt out of his skin, but stayed calm. “Oh, sorry...”
“Alright then.” Hollypaw brushed herself off and continued on her way.
The Mail Chia gasped for breath as he made a mad dash for the mailbox. His
Lupe costume was working like a charm.
Just as he reached the mailbox and hurled the mail in, Stenchpaw stepped out.“Oh,
bonjour Mr. Mail Chia! How are you today?”
Hollypaw snapped to attention. “MAIL CHIA?!? WHERE?!?”
“Why, right 'ere, in this Lupe costume!” Stenchpaw reported, tapping on the
miserable Mail Chia’s head. “Did you want to be send a letter or something,
Hollypaw?” Stenchpaw asked. The Mail Chia trembled.
Hollypaw rolled up her sleeves. “Sure. I wanted to send a couple flying…”
“Ah, yes, the airmail. It is the very convenient system, no? Well, thank you
both!” Stenchpaw hummed happily as he briskly hopped back into his house with
his mail, leaving the Mailchia with the disgruntled Holiday-Cheer Lupe…
Stenchpaw opened the latest letter…
“DEAR STENCHPAW,
WE HAVE BECOME GREAT FRIENDS OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS. I REALLY LEARNED A LOT
ABOUT YOU. I WILL BE PAYING A SHORT VISIT TO YOUR HOUSE NEXT TUESDAY ON MY WAY
TO NEOPIA CENTRAL TO VISIT MY SICKLY GRANDMOTHER. I’LL BE SEEING YOU SOON!!
YOUR AMIGO,
SENOR AISHIRO”
Stenchpaw gasped. “OVER HERE?!?” He dropped the letter onto the table, panicking.
“SACRE BLEAU!! Surely, he will see what is ugly about me and flee, never to
speak to me again! But he is my only friend! SACRE SACRE BLEAU!! What shall
I be doing?” Stenchpaw began frantically cleaning his house. He vacuumed every
carpet, dusted every shelf, and washed every floor. He even scrubbed out his
toilet. Stenchpaw looked around his house. Everything was gleaming.
However, something was missing… “DÉCOR!! I MUST DECORATE!!” Stenchpaw dashed
into his closet, pulling out his finest china, his rarest vases, and his prized,
famous dung sculpture done by Rigatonni De Marco, the famous Tyrannian dung
sculptor. He placed them all around his house, satisfied by his lovely decorating.
“Ah! It looks simply beautiful… But what about me?” Stenchpaw looked in the
mirror near his desk. Suddenly, he realized it. “SACRE BLEAU!! I AM NOT WEARING
ANY OF THE CLOTHES!!” He fled back and forth, cleaning himself and his house,
improving things and throwing things away, until he finally, at some level,
achieved perfection. His hair cut and slicked back, his shoes (which he never
wore) gleamed, his suit (which he never really wore either) pressed, and his
tail combed.
Then, Stenchpaw did something he never really ever did before: put on deodorant.
The smell always made him gag, and he always hated wearing it. “EUUUUUUUCK!!”
He coughed, spluttered, and sneezed, until he resorted to putting a handkerchief
over his nose. “Ah, much better…” He sighed through a nasal voice. “Now my friend
will surely be impressed by me. I’ve taken every precaution to make myself…
how do you say… sociable!” Finally satisfied, Stenchpaw sat down and looked
at the calendar. Aishiro would arrive tomorrow. Stenchpaw looked out the window.
In all his preparation, he didn’t realize that he had worked until late into
the night. Staring out the window, he listened to the crickets chirp as he anxiously
waited for his ‘friend’…
Creeper’s Hideout…
‘Senor Aishiro’ tucked on his fake moustache, looking at the calendar. “Today’s
the day I scam the Lupe, scam the Lupe, scam the Lupe…” He hummed. “I’m stealing
so much, his ego will droop, o-dee-doo-da-day-o!” He finally added the finishing
touches to his disguise. “Perfect…” Creeper had transformed from a shaded, short
Aisha to a tall and loud yellow one, straight from the hottest spots in the
Neopian Southwest. Walking carefully on his stilts, Creeper made his way to
the exit. “Soon, I’ll be rolling in… OW!” He rammed his head on the door, falling
straight onto his back. Rubbing his head and cursing, Creeper pulled himself
back up again. “I’m tall now, I’m tall now, I’m tall now…” He repeated to himself,
bending his head as he made his way through the door…
DING DONG!
Stenchpaw nearly fell out of his seat as he scrambled for the door. He threw
it open to reveal a strange yellow Aisha. He was VERY tall, even though his
arms were unusually short. He had a huge, bushy moustache, and wore traditional
Southwestern Neopian clothing, a sombrero and a poncho. He removed his hat and
bowed, revealing short brown hair underneath. “Hola amigo! It eez I, Senor Aishiro!”
Stenchpaw bowed back. “Bonjour, my amigo! Please, come in!” The Aisha walked
kind of funny, something like a bird with too long legs. Stenchpaw made sure
to walk as classily as possible, trying to make as good an impression as possible.
“Well, I hope you like it 'ere.” He commented.
Aishiro’s eyes traveled around the room, taking in every single valuable object.
“Oh, yes senor, es much guapo!”
Stenchpaw nervously took a seat at his table, Aishiro awkwardly sitting across
from him. Stenchpaw couldn’t tell for sure, but it looked like he was struggling
with his long legs. Stenchpaw coughed. “Um, Pardone moi… excuse me for a second…”
He ducked underneath the table, where he had hid his copy of Learning Social
Skills. “Greet the guest… check… sit him down… check… engage in interesting
conversation about politics, sports, or other interesting topics?” Stenchpaw
pulled himself up from under the table. “So… how about the Gormball Team this
year? Pretty stinky, eh?”
Aishiro laughed. “Si. They mucho need to practicar.”
Stenchpaw nodded. “Yeah. And politics too, pretty hectic in the Stock Market,
eh?”
“Si. I lost 25% on my last stock purchase.”
Stenchpaw shook his head. “Yes, it is pretty hectic…”
The room fell silent. Stenchpaw began to sweat nervously. The silence was taking
too long. Maybe this was the thing about him that repelled people. Stenchpaw
swallowed, thinking about all the times the other pets had fled upon meeting
him. “Uh… so…” Stenchpaw began. Suddenly, his slick, hardened haircut began
to melt. He didn’t notice this, though. “Did you like my vase? I got it in…”
He looked around. “That is being funny… What happened to my vase? I set it right
on this table, no?”
Aishiro, who had a vase-shaped bulge in his poncho, shrugged. “Senor, I did
not see any vase.”
“Well, then… er…” Stenchpaw got even more worried. He kicked his paws nervously
under the table. “How about my dung sculpture?”
Aishiro looked around. “Er… what sculpture, senor?” He now had a bulge under
his hat.
Stenchpaw was sweating so much it was washing away his cologne. “But… I though…
I could have… sworn…” Suddenly, he couldn’t take anymore. “THIS IS NOT ME!!”
He yelled.
Aishiro gasped. “Que?”
“I SAID, THIS IS NOT ME!!” Stenchpaw stood up, messed up his hair, ripped off
his suit, and kicked off his shoes. “I AM NOT THIS KIND OF LUPE! I CANNOT ACT
THIS WAY ANY LONGER! I am supposed to be feeling accepted and comfortable right
now, but I AM NOT! This is who I really am being!!!” Suddenly, the cologne wore
off completely. Creeper’s nose suddenly caught the whiff. He sniffed, his eyes
bulging. “Oh, sure, I may be ugly, and am having a poor accent, and am not wearing
clothes, but this is how I want to be!” Creeper’s eyes watered as he staggered
off the chair and away from the table. But Stenchpaw simply followed, chasing
him into a corner. “I am proud of who I am! And I have friends who appreciate
that! I hope you can get used to me, because this is how I really am!! So, do
you have anything to say? Huh?”
Aishiro ripped off his moustache, rubbed off the blue paint, and threw off
his poncho, revealing the stolen vase and sculpture. “ALRIGHT!! I DID IT!! I
USED THE STUPID PEN PAL SERVICE TO SNEAK IN HERE AND STEAL STUFF!! PLEASE, JUST
LET ME OUT!!” Creeper began sobbing, trying desperately to cover his nose (even
though he couldn’t find it).
Stenchpaw blinked. “You mean, you were playing me for the fool?”
“YES!! I ADMIT IT!!”
Stenchpaw sighed. “I see.” He snatched his plastic fencing sword from off the
wall. Enraged, he tested the edge on his paw. “TOUCHE!!" He twanged his sword.
"You have crossed the line, Aisha! Now, EN GAURDE!” Stenchpaw prodded him with
the sword, whipping it expertly and giving him a sound whack on the ear with
it.
“YEOWCH!!” Creeper, covering his nose, his ear, and clutching his bum at the
same time, fled out the door.
Stenchpaw pursued, screaming curses in French at the top of his lungs as he
swung his sword. “I SHALL MOUNT YOUR EARS UPON MY WALL!!” He roared, as he dashed
past the Mail Chia, who had just finished all his deliveries. The battle-scarred
postal Chia watched them dash by, smiling admirably as they disappeared into
the sunset.
“That Lupe could be a great postal worker someday…” He observed. | 
