THE NEOPIAN HOSPITAL - Continuing my series, What About, which started last
week with the Library
Faerie, I decided to move onto the Doctor Gelert, another almost forgotten
Neopian.
Now, the Neopian Hospital
has always interested me. I mean, to my knowledge of the Medical World, a hospital
is where you bring sick or injured people, or in this case, pets, and have them
treated.
Not the Neopian Hospital. It's only reason for existing is to help sick pets
find the cure. I mean, the Doctor Gelert doesn't even need to be there! All
we really need is a piece of paper listing the disease and cures, and the owners
can go to the Shop Wizard or Pharmacy. So why is Dr. Gelert still there? This
sparked investigation.
I entered the Hospital and saw Dr. Gelert sleeping. I nudged him a bit, and
he woke up in a instant yelling, "CODE RED? ORANGE? YELLOW? GREEN?" going hysterical.
epk: Um, excuse me, Dr. Gelert, I'm here for an article I want to write
for The Neopian Times about you and the Neopian Medical System.
Dr. Gelert: Okay, Code Green. Darn it. Erm, anyway, I'm ready to answer
any questions.
epk: To start off, I have been really curious, if all you do is just
stand there and greet people, what do you do that makes you a Doctor?
Dr. Gelert: I'm one of the few licensed Doctors in Neopia and whenever
a medical outbreak, like the one at the Money
Tree on the August 22nd and 23rd, or the Tyrannian Disease outbreak
a while back... I can't remember that date. But anyway, when there is an outbreak
like this, it's up to us to find the cause and the cure.
epk: How come some diseases, like Fuzzy Fungus, a Tyrannian Disease
should I mention, says it turns your Neopet into a Fungus Ball, but I haven't
seen any Fungus Balls roaming around the streets of Neopia Central?
Dr. Gelert: Luckily, Fuzzy Fungus bacteria is well contained along
with many others. For example, all frozen assets go straight to Neopia Central
Political Department, and the percentage of the budget given to the Medical
System I will spend on soaps and other disinfectants to help Neopia stay germ-free.
However, lets say the Neogitus bacteria finds its way into and old deserted
shop and starts to duplicate. Well, Neogitus Bacteria may grow at rate of 2:1'5.
That means 2 Bacteria cells will grow from one (2:1) about every fifth of a
day ('5). So, if my maths right, that's 32 cells each day, about enough to make
a Greeble have a really small headache. Neogitus needs about 300,000 cells to
even cause an illness in your average health Neopet. But that's one cell in
four days, so we really have to be on our toes keeping everything clean.
epk: Quite a Neopian Health lesson. So the entire Money Tree Outbreak,
that was caused by how many germ cells?
Dr. Gelert: Since germs are very small, it was hard to predict. It may
of been that some owner had a really sick Neopet and as donating old clothes
at the same time, and a shirt may of had up to 1,000 germ cells. That disease
was a quick duplicator and made it up to Yellow Zone quickly.
epk: Yellow?
Dr. Gelert: Any medical epidemic is rating on a scale of Red to Green,
Green meaning its totally safe, Red meaning dangerous, even critical. Yellow
is when it is possibly to contract a sickness.
epk: Oh. Has Neopia ever reached Red?
Dr. Gelert: Luckily no. With Healing Potions here for wars and such,
no condition, germ or injury, has been red.
epk: Injury? You don't seem to treat injuries. Where would we get injuries?
Dr. Gelert: Sometimes a Neopet will get a bruise during a Battledome
fight, but luckily, we have never had anything serious like a broken limb or
concussion. If something serious happens it is most likely during a war when
illegal weapons are used by the enemy. Fyora, the Faerie Queen in charge of
the Hidden Tower Weaponry, and I have made a pact to test all weapons and make
sure they'll only take away HP. The Battledome is supposed to be fun, not more
then mild violence. But it could happen, you never know what the Neopets Staff
decides to do to make the game more interesting.
epk: Would you ever fight in the one-player Battledome?
Dr. Gelert: Would I ever! Great knowledge of muscle use and weaponry
testing, meeting new people, leaving this dump during a Green Zone day, it would
be a dream come true! Of course, when a war or biological incident occurs, I'll
have to reject all battles.
epk: Quite an interesting response from a doctor. If you could have
one wish for the Neopian Medical System, what would it be?
Dr. Gelert: I see too many sick Neopets playing games like Jubjub Blackjack
and Kacheek Seek, visiting different worlds, even in the Battledome! I think
there needs to be a ban on this in order to prevent diseases to spread.
epk: Yes, and you can always submit your ideas to ideas@neopets.com,
I do so myself. I sent one idea where you bring items to this place and you
might get a new one back for an example. I hope it comes true.
Dr. Gelert: I'd like everyone reading this who has an idea for the
hospital to send it in. Medical Check-ups? More likely hood of Physical Injuries?
Vaccines? Unnamed Diseases? Send them in! We need as much Medical Attention
with the rumoured Jelly World coming out...
epk: I've been given sources (thanks nbn forums) that the new world
is may be Medieval and may have places called Meridell or Fangspire.
Dr. Gelert: That would be even better for Hospital Attention, considering
the possibility of disease will be much greater in a soapless land. You know,
Black Death? I also want all Ixis and Draiks, rumoured to be from the New World,
Medieval or Jelly, to take a Medical Plant & Vitamin C Tablets to remove any
undiscovered germ from their immune system. Thanks for the interview... um...
epk: Name's epk. You should see me in the next edition of the Neopian
Times. And to all of you readers, I'm signing off Saturday afternoon. Bye in
SIX (count 'em, SIX!) different languages until next time.
Disclaimer: All Health Advice and such is all speculation and not required.
The above is mostly semi-fiction, because it has the possibility of coming true.
And Medical Students, don't blame me for false info, because it is supposed
to be! This is NEOPIA!?!? Okay? Good! *phew* | 
