War? Panic! Panic! PANIC!!! by bluescorchio104 |  |
MERIDELL - As I see it, with the upcoming Meridell War, there's only three
main courses of action:
a)
Fight in the war (obviously!)
b)
Make a financial profit from the war
c)
PANIC!!!!!
In this article, I will outline these three courses of action.
Fighting in the war
First of all, you must have the proper equipment. Unfortunately, prices
of many weapons have risen quite sharply, ever since the announcement of the
war. So, try to buy as early as possible, because as the war progresses, the
prices are probably not going to go down. If anything, they'll go up. Try investing
in cheap but effective items. Improved Lightning Beams are definitely good value
for money. I personally like to use Exploding, Icy and Sticky Snowballs, but
even the cost for these items have gone up. Yellow Snowballs (at the time of
writing) are a bit cheaper then the Icy, Exploding and Sticky Snowballs, yet
do a reasonable amount of damage. Muffins are also a good alternative, but are
also more expensive. But then again, the more expensive ones usually do more
damage anyway, so you might find it worth the price. The stats of the Neopet
you intend to battle with are also important. I wouldn't bother going for the
Krawk Island Training Academy- it's too slow. If you want a quicker result,
go to the Mystery Island Training School. Remember, never increase speed. It's
just not worth it, since it does nothing at all in the Battledome. All my speed
stat points have come from Faerie Quests and Kitchen Quests. That reminds me,
Kitchen Quests can also raise your stats, though it's not guaranteed and the
items required can be a little pricey. Also, you can't choose which stats he
raises. If you're really desperate for really quick stat rises, and have a load
of NP or Negg Tokens to spend, you could always buy various Neggs from the Neggery,
or indirectly through the Shop Wizard. However, it's only the expensive Neggs
that raise your stats, with the exception of the Basic Power Negg. Be warned,
those Neggs are HORRIBLY EXPENSIVE! An average Neopian like me wouldn't even
dream of buying one. Abilities can help, though the only level one ability I
recommend is Heal (a reasonable water ability). So, don't really bother splurging
on the faeries unless you're on at least level 10. Oh, and taking your Petpet
to the Turmaculus to level it up might prove to be a good idea, though don't
blame me if he decides to eat it.
Financially profiting from the war
Obviously, with everyone rushing to buy weapons for the war, stock up your
shop with plenty of weapons, though only stock up on those which a widely known
to be effective. I mean, stocking your shop with horribly expensive items that
do little damage isn't exactly the best way to do business is it? Stocking up
on Elixirs and Healing Potions, as well as Codestones and Dubloons might also
be a good idea, though I wouldn't really recommend stocking up on Dubloons,
since the Dubloon courses take ages. Faeries might also be a good idea. Remember,
always check the Shop Wizard price as often as you can. You never know, you
might be able to inflate your prices and make an even better profit. Also, don't
overstock. For all we know, the war might only last a week, and if you haven't
sold all your stock yet, you might be stuck with the unsold items. Even worse,
you might have to sell them cheaper than you bought them, just to get rid of
them!
Panic!!!!!
This is what I'm going to do when war hits. I've even prepared a
war plan. When the war starts, I'm going to run hysterically in circles, screaming
"Wubba Wubba Wubba". Then I'm going to have a mental and nervous breakdown,
and curl into a foetal position, whimpering pitifully. When all my good logic
and common sense has finally left me (if I ever had any in the first place)
I'll wriggle in circles on my belly, in an effort to impersonate a Slorg, while
alternately barking and shouting "Quack! Quack! Quack!" at the top
of my voice. Finally, I'll stand on my head, with the blood rushing to my head
and my face smushed in a Meaty Pie, while hoping that maybe if I give Dr. Sloth
enough Rubber Ducks he'll leave me alone. Of course, this plan might not be
entirely effective, but hey, I was never good at planning in the first place.
In readiness for war, I've got 329 Cans of Musho Mushy Peas, 294 cans of Baked
Beans, 185 Cans of Prunes, and 785 jars of Pickled Olives, which for some ridiculous
reason I can't eat. Currently, I've just finished building an underground Tiki
Bomb shelter (which I had to bulldoze my favourite patch of Heartfruit Trees
to make way for). Made of ultra strong duratanium, the outer shell forms a perfect
half sphere. Inside that is a thick layer of Pumpkin Shields, and inside that,
another deep layer of Blue Pillows. Of course, it might have helped if I had
built a door into it… Oh well. I knew I should have followed the instruction
manual.
And that brings to an end the three main courses of action for the war. Obviously,
I fully recommend panicking, but if you're not insane like me, don't even think
about trying it. |
