Hotty the green Mynci was attempting to teach Zelkon
common Neopian.
"Read this," she instructed, writing something
down on a sheet of paper. Zelkon's brother translated the command to her.
"Errr... t-h-ee qu...quick b-r-o-n, no, br-ow-n,
w-o-k-ee ju-mps..."
Zelkon's brainy twin Zarkon had mastered the
language almost instantly. He was watching his sister struggle with amusement.
"Eeh eeh, Noklez T'nac daer," he taunted.
Hotty stepped in before Zelkon lunged at her
brother. "Perhaps I just don't have the skill or the materials to be a good
teacher," she said quickly.
Zarkon sulkily translated her words into Grundoish
for his sister.
"Ll'ohw hcaet em, neht?" Zelkon asked Hotty.
Once again, Zarkon translated the words back
to the green Mynci She thought about it for a while, then said, "There is
someone who could teach you."
The smaller Grundo didn't bother with translating.
"Who?"
"His name is Silvertail Manytongues. He lives
on Mystery Island."
"And he'd teach Zelkon?"
"Ummm..." Hotty paused. "There's just one problem."
"What's that?"
"He, uh, doesn't like Grundos."
***
Silvertail Manytongues knew every language spoken in Neopia, and then some.
He was the only pet alive able to read the ancient scrolls of S'k'm't, the first
to translate the inscriptions on the great monument to Pango Pango, and the
most sought-after language teacher in all of Neopia.
The only problem was that he didn't like Grundos.
He didn't just not like them. Some strange instinct
deep in his oversized cranium rebelled at the very idea of associating
with them. Sure, he had spent months in the cave of a Tyrannian Sikh, and you
don't get much more primitive than that. And he had nothing against Chias, even
though some of his less cultured cousins firmly believed that they were walking
dinners. Silvertail was a vegetarian.
But he had some odd thing against Grundos.
Everything about them got on his nerves- their backwards language, their blank
red eyes, their hideous leader. Silvertail, like most Neopians (most sane ones,
anyway), had a healthy hatred of Sloth.
Someone rang the doorbell. He frowned, putting
down the rare manuscript he'd been translating for Fyora...
***
Zarkon shifted nervously on the doorstep of Silvertail's house. Hotty had told
him that this place was called Mystery Island, and he kept wondering what the
mystery was.
It hadn't been easy, getting used to this weird
planet. Zarkon had been used to a nice, purple sky with wispy violet clouds.
The skies in Neopia were blue or gray, with white clouds sometimes in all shapes
and sizes. And the grass was--of all colours--green. A few weeks ago, he couldn't
have imagined a place where plants weren't blue.
The door swung open, revealing a strange creature.
What were those things called again? Lippy... Loopy... oh, yeah, Lupes. This
one was a curious silver-blue, wearing little gold glasses and an expression
of extreme distaste.
"Yes?" the Lupe said with the sophisticated
sneer of someone who is way smarter than you and very smug about it,
"If you're selling something, I don't want any."
"Mr. Silvertail," Zarkon said quickly, looking
at the ground, "My sister is not fluent in Common Neopian and I wondered if
you could teach-"
"Your accent," said the Lupe in clipped tones,
"Is the most terrible I've heard yet. It's almost physically painful
to hear such a slaughter of Neopia's fairest language."
He sneered at Zelkon. She may not have understood
what the Lupe had said, but she recognised a sneer when she saw it. "Can't speak
Neopian, can you?" he asked coldly, "No, I thought not, you disgusting little
creature. Reggub ffo, neht."
Zarkon grabbed his sister's arm to prevent her
from doing some serious damage to the offensive Lupe
The silver scholar looked at him disdainfully.
"My, my, violence will get you nowhere. Translate that piece of advice to your
sister; she will no doubt find it valuable."
"S'tel og," the little red Grundo told Zelkon,
half-dragging her away.
***
"Uoy reven dlot em eh t'ndid ekil Sonurg," Zelkon hissed at her brother.
"I togrof," the smaller red Grundo muttered
sulkily, avoiding his twin's wrathful gaze.
The two were standing on Mystery Island's main
dock, waiting for the next ferry. Zelkon was still seething with anger about
the insult, and as mad at her brother as she was at Silvertail.
"Rof enoemos os trams uoy nac eb ytterp diputs
semitemos," she said bitterly.
The two fumed silently, each trying to find a
good reason to blame the other for something.
"Fi uoy t'ndah-" Zarkon began.
"Excuse me, coming through, pardon me, this
is urgent, I said excuse me - I mean it, mister..." A silver Lupe pushed
his way through the crowd at the dock, knocking aside Zarkon. The red Grundo,
off balance, grabbed the offensive Lupe's paw. Instead of regaining his balance,
Zarkon sprawled on the ground clutching a package the silver pet had been holding.
"Uh... sir? You, um, dropped this..."
Silvertail turned and growled at Zarkon, not
noticing that he'd lost his package. "You again? Stop bothering me, I've no
time for you now - I've got an important package to deliver."
He pushed his way to the front of a line waiting
for the ferry and elbowed aside a starry Scorchio. "Excuse me sir, important
business, a delivery for the faerie queen herself, top secret..."
He took his place at the front of the line, not
noticing that the 'top secret' documents were missing.
Zarkon looked at the thick envelope. It was stamped
with bold letters reading 'TOP SECRET' and 'OPEN UNDER THREAT OF DEATH.' Silvertail
had obviously never heard of reverse psychology. This was the kind of package
that just begged to be opened.
He handed the envelope to his sister and got
up. She took a moment to read the warning signs and shrugged. "S'enoemos gniog
ot teg ni elbuort fi siht seog gnissim."
They both looked at Silvertail pompously boarding
the boat to Neopia Central.
"Od ew tnaw mih ot teg ni elbuort?" Zarkon
pondered.
"Fo esruoc."
***
"And he wouldn't teach Zelkon! He told us to go away," Zarkon told Hotty.
The green Mynci shook her head. "I really don't
know what to tell you... there's really no other teacher available."
"Oh, come on! There's got to be more than one
language teacher in Neopia!"
Hotty thought for a moment. "There's Urkle-ogg
in Tyrannia, but she only teaches flying pets... and William of Meridell, but
he simply refuses to associate with anyone who's not painted... and there's
Khamen from Sakamet - you don't want to go to him, he only teaches Blumaroos..."
The End | 
