An Article of Clothing by leb388 |  |
NEOPIA CENTRAL - All right, I'll stop the bad puns. We have a seriously bad
situation here, obviously as a result of the Meridell war. Nope, I'm not talking
about a problem for Meridell or the Darigan Citadel. This crisis is right here,
in my homeworld (so to speak) of Neopia Central, where I was trying to console
a wailing Blue Uni wearing a scarf and bow in a remote and deserted shop.
"It's horrible," she said between sobs. "No one's buying any clothes. They're
all concerned with that stupid war over a gold ball that makes no sense!"
I had stopped by Neopia Left (a marketplace to the left of Main Neopia Central)
and saw that people were flocking to the Battle and Defence shops, but no one
was heading towards the Clothes Shop. It's normally popular with newbies, so
I went to see what the fuss was about, and found a deserted store and a crying
shopkeeper.
"Can I help at all?" I offered weakly.
"Only if you can stop the war!" she cried.
"Why do you hate the war? Are people buying more Battle stuff and less clothing?"
She nodded. "Yes--Battle and healing items, codestones and dubloons, and food.
The economy's a wreck. Food prices have soared, and newbies and poor Neopians
have to pay more Neopoints for food, and spend less on clothing, if anything.
And since clothing's useless now, who cares about it?"
"Collectors?" I guessed.
She shook her head. "Not even they, dear. No one wants to collect something
worthless. Everyone's concerned with useful items. Useful! Clothing is useful--if
not for clothing and costumes, many paintbrushes wouldn't exist! How can you
make a Desert Grarrl without a toga? How could you have a Baby Lupe without
a handkerchief? Or a Christmas Bruce without a coat and hat? All the paintbrushes
would be boring if Neopets couldn't wear clothes!"
"I thought Neopets can't wear clothes, but paintbrushes are the only exception,"
I said.
"They can't wear my clothes, dear, but they can wear the Neopets Team's clothing
designs. The Neopets Team used to let me say, 'Soon you will be able to dress
your pet!', but no, not anymore! It's not worth it to make it optional to dress
pets without painting them, they say!"
"I'm sorry business is so bad for you. I can buy something--one of my pets
would love another holiday present! And I'll write a Neopian Times article on
your situation, too."
She looked surprised and suddenly excited. "That's right! You're leb388, aren't
you? I've heard so much about you and even read some of your work! The old leb388
who used to stop by here a lot as a newbie, nearly two years ago! How's your
nice Blue Uni doing, dear? Pegasus was her name?"
"Um...yes. Pegasus is doing great," I said, not wanting to break it to this
Uni that Pegasusmon3 was now a Tonu.
"Oh, that's good. A bit of good news to brighten up my day! I hope things get
better," she sighed.
"Don't worry. The war will be over soon, and thousands of newbies will flock
to your shop, squandering their money on clothes," I promised.
"You--you mean it?" she gasped, happily. "Oh, thank you so much!"
"Oh, no problem. It's true! But can I ask you something?" I inquired.
"Sure! What is it, dear?"
"Um, how come you wear clothes and other Neopets can't?"
"Oh...uh...no reason...just don't tell the Neopets Team," she mumbled.
"Okay." I bought some clothes to make her happy and went back home to write
this article.
The Issue of Clothes
With a war raging on, obviously some worthless clothing items are not first
on your shopping list. Sellers who wisely stockpiled are profiting with anything
Battledome-related (including food. Now people have to feed their pets if they
want to fight) and, with free toys and food from the Advent Calendar, Neopians
think their pets are content, so they don't experiment on new ways of entertaining
their pets. Plus, the users making the NP aren't going to spend it on clothes.
The Neopoints they're getting, however, comes partially from users who might.
Also, newbies to the site are caught up in trying to figure out what the war
is (don't worry if you can't. I don't get it, either). And buy food and Battledome-related
items for their Neopets, and probably some more toys and plushies, ignoring
clothes and grooming items--but at least grooming items can be used by your
pets. And poor users? They probably don't even think of buying something like
clothes. After all, what can you do with them? There's no option on a clothing
item's lookup in your inventory that reads, "Clothe [Neopet's name]." And the
Neopets Team has made a considerable push at new paintbrushes. With the recent
releases of the Plushie and Ghost paintbrushes, it's now considered "cool" to
paint your pet (Disclaimer: Paint your pet whatever suits their personality
and your Neowallet best, not whatever's cool. Island and White are too very
un-cool colours, and two of my pets are those.).
You may think, "Oh, no! Pets aren't getting enough clothes? Those poor things!"
But, really, consider that again. Pets don't really need clothes, being pets,
do they? Clothes are more of an accessory for sentient beings in warm climates,
and except for those Neopets living on the summit of Terror Mountain, who already
seem to be Christmas-painted and therefore well-clothed, Neopets seem to be
fine without clothes.
Here's my take on the issue. Clothing would make great collecting items because
of their lack of demand and, therefore, cheap price. Obviously, a gallery of
Neopian bandanas would create more bore than interest, but, say, 10,000 bandanas
would make your shop quite extraordinary. All the clothing items I've found
are less than 20 NP, so you can splurge on them to your heart's content. And
if Neopets ever does create a way for you to dress your unpainted pet, you'll
be the first to do so--and will avoid paying jacked-up prices, and maybe even
make some Neopoints selling your clothing items. No promises, here, however--any
huge economic splurge on Neopets is a risk.
Summary:
- in this war-obsessed world, there's less general interest in clothes, and
more interest in useful items
- clothing items are not in demand, making them offered at cheap prices
- clothing would be good for collecting, but not for galleries
- clothes are not able to be used on Neopets/not needed
- there may be a good hobby and investment in clothing, but for profit purposes
it's risky
Well, there's my article. If you have any questions or comments, feel free
to Neomail
me. I hope you learned a thing or three, and I will end this crazy article of
insanity...now. |
