The Ixi of Doom and the Addition Addiction

by battlesunn

"I'm bored." Zarrelian, the Halloween ixi, sighed.

     Shelleylou, the shadowed Gelert, rolled her eyes. "I know. It's all you've done for the past hour, complain about how bored you are. I don't even see how you could be bored! This is Neopia, for crying out loud! Go to the games room or something."

     "The Flash games are all impossible."

     "Well, an evil little gremlin like you certainly couldn't win them, that's for sure."

     "What?! I could get a champion's trophy at anyone of those games! And another thing, I'm highly offended by that 'gremlin" comment. I'm at least as handsome as a mutant pixie!"

     "You wish."

     "Okay, that's the last straw! I bet I could score first place in any Flash game! Just give me a week!"

     "Bets are boring without stakes."

     "Okay then, if I can't get a champion trophy in a week, then I'll clean out Mr. Claws' litter box for a whole month!"

     Mr. Claws, a blue Meowclops, was Shelly's bad tempered petpet. Upon hearing his name, he aroused himself from his sleep and snarled menacingly at Zarrelian, as if appalled that anyone as low in his respect would be trusted with the important task of sterilising his lavatory.

     Shelly smirked. "You're on." Inwardly, She almost felt pity for the pathetic ixi. Not only had he agreed on a one-sided bet, but he had forgotten to decide on the rewards for himself if he actually did win it!

     Ten minutes later, the Gelert and the Ixi were well on their way towards the gaming centre, specifically the puzzle quadrant of the four game rooms. Zarrelian felt his stomach plummet unpleasantly as he stared at the chattering, flashing machines. What had he gotten himself into?

     "Go on," Shelly said, nudging him forward with a coal coloured paw. "Go play maths nightmare or something."

     Zarrelian sighed, and pushed the "play" button. Almost instantly, a menu appeared, allowing Zarrelian to select either multiplication, addition, subtraction or addition. "Addition." He murmured, and clicked on the correct button. He revved himself up, ready to play, and win. One second later, he had lost.

     "B--but, I don't get it! How did I lose?" He sputtered.

     Shelly whistled through her teeth. "Whew. I don't know, but that's the fasted loss I've ever seen! And on the addition level, no less!"

     Zarrelian snorted. "They're probably all rigged and impossible. I'd like to see you try it!"

     Shelly shrugged. "Okay, I will."

     Shelly trotted over to the machine and grasped the controls. She set it to the same mode, and began to play. Zarrelian rolled his eyes. She would lose for sure! But she didn't. She kept on winning. Zarrelian's eyes widened in shock as Shelly expertly added up the equations, keeping ahead of the sheep and tackling the hardest problems with ease. Shelly grinned as she rolled in her high score of 3508 points. She whirled around to face her bewildered brother, a triumphant smirk plastered on her face.

     "Ha! How the mighty have fallen, eh Zarrel?"

     Zarrelian's jaw dropped. "What? You must be cheating! How did you do all those problems so... fast?"

     Shelly shrugged. "I'm smart, that's all."

     Zarrelian opened his mouth to argue, but his thoughts were interrupted by a metallic clunking sound. Both the Gelert and Ixi turned back to face the game, where a large pile of Neopoints and a bronze third place trophy had fallen into a large slot. Shelly chuckled.

     "Hey, check it out, Zarrel; I got a trophy!"

     Zarrelian had long since overcome his jealousy at Shelly's obvious skill, and by now he had merely become bored with the whole affair and eager to go home.

     "Good for you, Shelly! A big hunk of shiny metal! You must be so proud!"

     Shelly pawed the trophy's gleaming surface lovingly. "I sure am! I think I'll call it Shinia."

     Zarrel rolled his eyes. "Can we please go home now?"

     Shelly dismissed him with a wave of her paw. "Sorry Zarrel. But I think I may want to win Shinia some friends."

     "You've lost me." The ixi said, heading in the direction of the exit.

     "I'm just going to play a few more rounds of the game, Zarrel. You go on home." She called.

     "Gladly." Zarrel muttered, and clip clopped down the dusty road that led to their NeoHome.

     Back in the gaming centre, Shelly. Cracked her knuckles as she prepared to play another round of her new favourite game, Maths Nightmare.

***

Battlesunn frowned as she pulled back the curtains to the window and peered out onto the darkened pathway. She turned back to her three pets, Zarrelian, Ezanna the blue Krawk, and Mordegan the green Lupe. One of her pets, a shadowed Gelert, was missing.

     "Still no sign of Shelly." Battlesunn said.

     Ezanna raised a brow and pointed a claw at Zarrelian, who was sitting contentedly on the floor, playing with his Mynci puppet. "Zarrel," he said, and the ixi raised his head. "Zarrel, exactly when did Shelly say that she'd come back?"

     Zarrel shrugged. "She just wanted to play a few more rounds of Maths Nightmare. I'm sure she'll be back soon."

     Just then, the door to the NeoHome opened and in walked Shelly, proudly sauntering in, though her paws were laden with trophies. And not just bronze and silver, but gold ones, too. Mordegan, Ezanna and Battlesunn all flocked over to the tired Gelert, and began ogling at all the trophies. Ezanna held up a golden Maths Nightmare trophy.

     "Shelly! How'd you get all these?"

     "My brain is liked a calculator!" she said proudly.

     Mordegan grinned, and looked up. "Wow Shelly! There must be something like nine trophies here! Only... They're all from Maths Nightmare."

     "It's my favourite game, Morty."

     Zarrelian rolled his eyes and went back to his Mynci puppet. "Big deal." He mumbled to himself. "So she can do math. Who cares? It's not like we have to go to school, or anything."

     After congratulating Shelly on her success, Battlesunn's face suddenly became stern. "Shelly," she said, folding her arms. "It's great that you've found something that you're so good at, but next time, I expect to be back at a reasonable hour, okay?"

     "Whatever you say."

     "Good. Anyway, you should probably all be going to bed now, it's after Ten. Good night!"

     "Goodnight." Her pets chorused.

     Zarrelian watched with mild amusement as Shelly recruited Mordegan to drag her many trophies up the stairs to her bedroom, but his amusement turned to uneasiness as he spotted the deadened look in Shelly's once bright and flashing green eyes, and the dull pitch of her coat, which before shone with lustre and health.

     "Hmm," he thought, narrowing his eyes. "There must be some sort of connection between this, and Shelly's new love for videogames..." He paused. "Nope! I can't think of anything. I must be wrong, then."

     Snickering softly to himself, he trotted cheerfully up to his room.

***

The next morning, Zarrelian awoke to the cold and unwelcoming smell of uncooked omelette. He made a face, he hated omelette, especially the kind with broccoli. He trudged miserably down to the kitchen, where he was greeted with a most unwelcome sight. Mordegan, wearing a ridiculous chef's hat and apron the said, "Hug the cook" in bright red letters, was busily frying up a concoction that looked even worse than it smelled. Ezanna sat glumly at the kitchen table, obviously anticipating the gruesome breakfast that Mordegan was preparing.

     "Mordegan!" Zarrelian bellowed. "Why are you cooking breakfast? Where's Battlesunn?"

     Ezanna flicked a rubber band contemptuously at the ixi. "It's a school day, nimrod. She isn't here."

     What's a nimrod? Zarrelian wondered, but he said something quite different. "Well then, where's Shelly? Doesn't she usually cook breakfast on school days?"

     Mordegan shrugged. "Usually, she does. But I can't seem to wake her up, her door's locked, so I guess she must just be really tired from all that Maths Nightmare last night."

     "We'll see about that," Zarrelian growled. "She shouldn't be allowed to enjoy herself when I'M hungry!"

     He stomped bad-temperdly up to Shelly's room, hissing dire threats and curses. Mordegan turned to Ezanna, his whiskers drooping.

     "Is my cooking really that bad?"

     Ezanna smiled coldly. "I don't think I should answer that."

     Mordegan shrugged, and went back to his omelette. "Works for me."

***

"SHELLY!" Zarrelian roared, pounding on the door with both hooves. "Shelllllllly! Your little brother's HUNGRY!"

     When he received no answer, he became even more infuriated.

     "That's is Shelly!" He howled. "Say goodbye to your precious mahogany door!"

     The ixi lowered his head, pawed at the ground and charged full force at the door, which burst right open, causing Zarrelian to lose his balance all fall, face first, into Mr. Claws' bed. Falling onto a sleeping Meowclops is never a very fun activity, but with Mr. Claws, it's even worse. Five minutes of heavy scratching later, Zarrelian managed to escape Mr. Claws' iron claws grasp and immediately dashed over to the door, but not before spotting a note taped to the bedside table. Zarrelian grabbed it off the table and galloped downstairs with it, reading as he went.

     "Dear person who's reading this, I went down to the gaming centre to try to achieve the ultimate high score in Maths Nightmare. I'm meeting my destiny, so it may be a long night, but I'll try to be back around five. Hugs and Kisses, Shelly. P.S. If it's Zarrelian who's reading this, there's some medicine in the bathroom cabinet for your scratches, as I trained Mr. Claws to attack you with utmost ferocity. Why that stupid Gelert! Putting her dumb ninja kitty up to attacking me like that! Why I oughtta... Errrg!"

     Zarrelian threw down the note and stomped on it until it was no more than a pile of powdery dust. Just then, Ezanna and Mordegan came loping up to the panting ixi. Ezanna eyed Zarrelian's scratches with faint amusement flickering in his eyes.

     "Had another run in with the demon cat again, huh?"

     "That thing is not fit for this world..." Zarrelian murmured.

     Mordegan's eyes widened as he caught site of the pile of white powder sitting at Zarrelian's hooves. "What's that?"

     "Oh, that?" Zarrelian asked, snapping out of his reverie. "It's a note from Shelly. She's at the gaming centre and she'll be back around five."

     "So why'd you destroy it?"

     "Oh, it made me angry," he said.

     Mordegan and Ezanna exchanged looks, but they helped Zarrel to his feet. "Come on little bro, let's get you cleaned up."

     A couple band-aids and some splashes of iodine later, Zarrelian was feeling more or less like his old self. AT least, he was feeling well enough to suggest that the three of them a small party, since Shelly and Battlesunn were both gone. Both Ezanna and Mordegan loved the idea, and quickly set about gathering up chips, neocola and other sweets. The three pets plopped down on the worn-out green sofa, and flicked on the television. Morgan flipped through the channels for a few minutes before finding the Gormball championships.

     "Go Brian, go!" Ezanna hollered, his stoic attitude temporarily forgotten.

     "Come on Brain, you can do it! Blast that mangy Chia!"

     The three pets chomped their way through twenty jumbo bags of crisps, and guzzled down eight six packs of neocola. They were just starting on the pizza when Brain whipped the Gormball at the unsuspecting Ursula Usul, who was instantly drenched by the exploding Gormball Brian flew straight up into the air and did a victory loop in the sky, waving at his cheering fans. Back in their NeoHome, Ezanna, Mordegan and Zarrelian were having a celebration of their own, dumping neocola over each other's heads and cranking up the music on the massive rainbow boom box in the corner of the room. Mordegan started up a Cobrall Dance with himself, while Ezanna and Zarrelian did their own sloppy version of the Funky Peadackle. The party didn't last long, though, because after eating enough food to sustain twenty starving Elephantes, all three pets began experiencing terrible bouts of Bloaty Belly.

     "Oooh..." Ezanna groaned, doubled over in pain. "I think I'm going to be sick..."

     "Not on me you aren't!" Zarrelian growled, and pushed the Krawk roughly to the side.

     Mordegan winced as he patted his bloated stomach. "Whoo boy, remind me to never, EVER eat asparagus covered with ketchup and chocolate again."

     Zarrelian gave a small yelp of pain, and sighed sadly. "Yes never would've happened if Shelly was here!"

     "I second that." Ezanna gurgled.

     "Yeah," Mordegan said, nodding gingerly. "I suppose we should've appreciated her iron paw dictating more."

     Zarrelian sniffled. "It's true what they say, you know. That you never really appreciate something until it's gone."

     Ezanna sat straight up, growling. "Oh for crying out loud! She's not gone! She's at the gaming centre, wasting her Neopoints on that stupid Maths Daydream game!"

     "Nightmare." Zarrelian corrected.

     "It certainly is a Nightmare!" Ezanna roared, leaping to his feet. "Now I don't know about you, but I'm tired of not having anyone around here to stop me from doing something incredibly stupid! Now who's with me?"

     "I am!" Mordegan howled.

     "So am I!" Zarrelian shouted.

     "Well then," Ezanna said, "let's go get our sister back!"

     "Yeah!"

     The trio of enraged pets stormed off towards the gaming centre, fires blazing in their eyes. They cut through the puzzle quadrant of the centre like Jetsams through Koi, until they finally came across a lone shadowed Gelert sitting at one of the Maths Nightmare machines, typing methodically on the keyboard. Ezanna walked up to her and swerved the chair around so that Shelly was facing him.

     "Shelly, listen we--aaaaaaaah!"

     Shelly, at least, the Shelly that they once new, was gone. She had been replaced by some female Gelert with red, bloodshot eyes, complete with huge gray bags. Her fur was damp, matted and pale from the humidity and darkness of the game room. Worst of all, her paws, which had become so accustomed to typing, continued twitching and moving, as though she was typing on air.

     "Shelly! What have they done to you?"

     Shelly blinked once, very slowly and wetly. "Wha--?"

     "That's it, Shelly." Ezanna said calmly. "We're going to take you home now. Everything's going to be okay."

     "Higgofug?"

     Shelly blinked again, and then turned back to the flashing screen.

     "It's not working!" Mordegan screamed, horrified. "She's still under the power of the evil game!"

     "THAT'S ENOUGH!" Zarrelian cried.

     Everyone in the gaming room turned around to see who had uttered such a call. Even Shelly seemed to be back to normal for a second, before lapsing back into her stupor. Zarrelian marched up to the game, knocked the keyboard from Shelly's paws, and slapped her across the snout with one of his hooves. Mordegan and Ezanna gasped. Even Zarrelian seemed shocked at what he had done. Yes, it was mean, it was cruel and it was terribly rude, but it brought Shelly back. She shook her head and blinked.

     "Oh my," she murmured, pawing at her snout. "I think I've become far too obsessed with this game." She turned to her brothers. "Thank you for bringing me back! I'm so glad to be free of the neon clutches of this vile, electronic super-villain." She growled at the game, drawing out her dual expert bow and a quiver of arrows.

     "There's just one more thing to do..."

     "What?" asked Mordegan.

     "Something I should've done a long time ago..."

     Shelly whirled around to face Zarrelian, an arrow drawn on the taunt bowstring.

     "I'll teach you to slap me, you horrible little punk! Let's see how hard you hit with an arrow down your throat!"

     "Eeeep!"

     Ezanna chuckled as he watched Shelly chase Zarrelian out of the gaming centre and down the dusty path into the sunset, screaming threats and shooting arrows at the terrified Ixi. He smiled at Mordegan.

     "Looks like everything's back to normal, eh Morty?"

     "Not completely." Mordegan replied, squinting as he watched Shelly pounce on Zarrelian and start carrying him over to Jetsam infested waters. "Usually she uses her Attack fork."

The End

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