CNN Gets Faerie Queen Interview! CNN Gets the News, When it's News

(CNN=Carmelkat's Neopian News)

By carmelkat (based on the issue 31 article by Kiwimyst)

By sheer luck and long planning we were able to get an interview with the Faerie Queen! It was really hard to get, and we hope the Neopian Times readers like this, because there went my savings getting the interview.

Carmelkat's Neopian News Crew: So, Queen of the Faeries, how delightful it is to finally meet you!

FQ: Thank you, deary!

CNNC: There's been some controversy over your choice to make the Quests random. What led you to make this decision?

FQ (smiles brilliantly): Well, you see, there weren't enough Faeries. If you check my Faerie Birth Records, you'd find that it was rare for a faerie to come into being. Because all the faeries have to be blessed by a type of faerie, they really aren't a-faerie-a-day type of thing, you see.

CNNC: Yes, but you create the faeries.

FQ: In a sense, yes. I put the dew drop or shell, or whatever, on a place indicating what type of faerie it will become. Like an Earth Faerie would be a flower bud, a Fire Faerie would be a candle flame, etc. But, a faerie of that kind has to bless them. Faeries don't go strolling freely anymore, for fear of being caught and sold. So no one comes to bless the faerie!

CNNC: Can't you do it, Miss Queen?

FQ (exasperated): No, I can't. I was blessed by one of all the types of faeries. If I blessed one, for all we know it could be a Fire Faerie with blue wings, fins, and purple hair! I suppose we could try it, and see what would happen, but some of the faeries worry that a, um.... dismantled faerie might create chaos in Neopia. Just think: the faerie looked like a Light Faerie, but had the evil heart of a Dark Faerie, fins like a Water Faerie, and powers of Earth and Fire Faeries, it would be invincible! Unstoppable!

CNNC: What if a Faerie found the ray gun in the laboratory? Couldn't that happen then, too?

FQ: The people of Neopia Central, the Mystery Island, Haunted Woods, and Maraqua, discussed this. Because of certain faeries and pets, we agreed that this would be an unnecessary hazard to the world of Neopia as a whole. All faeries are immune, and cannot be transformed by the ray gun.

CNNC: What are your feelings about the Battledome?

FQ: I think it's about time. The Battle Faerie has been begging for centuries to get Neopia to open it. But Neopia, and myself, agreed that we should open it later, for more pets to enjoy it, and for Neopians to be able to find the original, partially built one that the Battle Faerie actually created in frustration with Neopia. When she set her mind on that, I was able to finally get some work done without her begging in my ear.

CNNC: Do you think poor Neopians deserve more Quests than rich ones?

FQ: As I see it, faeries are frustrated when people do not bring the items. I want things to be fair and peaceful. I tell the faeries I could get rid of Quests altogether, if I didn't think that poor Neopians needed the abilities for the Battledome, and the rich ones needing something to do, and a chance to spend the hundreds of thousands of NP they have. Those in the middle-class get what they deserve for delightfully spending their hard earned money if they fulfill a Quest. But they don't listen. So I make Quests random. A Neopian gets what they deserve, and each faerie has a limit on how many Quests they can give daily. And if they exceed that limit, they give me items and NPs which I donate to the Money Tree.

CNNC: A charitable act for a powerful and wonderful faerie.

A young Fire Faerie runs in the room.

FF: Faerie Queen! Come, help quick! My friend is having some, uh, difficulty with the Pant Devil!

FQ: I am so sorry, deary, but the ghosts are an increasing problem. Thank you very much!

CNNC: Thank you, Faerie Queen.

And away she goes, that marvelous faerie that tries to create peace and harmony, and miraculously, she succeeds.