NTV News Report

by mirenrulz and _snow_man_

This is _snow_man_ & mirenrulz reporting from Tyrannia, on the NTV News Channel. Mirenrulz is outside the War Tent, ready to interview the Tyrannian Battle Master, Grarrg. Miren?

mirenrulz: "Thanks, _snow_man_. Just wait for a few minutes, while I look through my papers .... I can't find the questions!! Ah, here's Grarrg now. Hey, Grarrg! Don't go back! I thought you said I could ask you some questions ...... "

Grarrg: "NO! YOU CAN'T! I'M BUSY! GO AWAY!!!!!"

mirenrulz: "Umm ... but you said .... "

Grarrg: "NO!"

mirenrulz: "But ..."

Grarrg: "NO!!!"

mirenrulz: "Umm ... you said I could ..."

Grarrg: "Would you stop pestering me, you little human! But I can see you will not be moved. *sighs* Go ahead ...."

mirenrulz: "Uh ... yeah. OK .... Grarrg, when do you think Tyrannia will be invaded?"

Grarrg: "How do you think I will know?! Do I look like a fortune teller?! All I can tell you, is soon!"

mirenrulz: "Uh ... OK. How many people are in the Tyrannian Army?"

Grarrg: "How many people are in Neopia? Tell me that and I will tell you how many people are in the Army!"

mirenrulz: "_snow_man_, how many people are in Neopia?"

_snow_man_: "Well, right now, there are 9,403,781 owners in Neopia, and 13,191,274 NeoPets. Why?"

mirenrulz: "Because Grarrg wants to know so he can answer my question!"

_snow_man_: "Huh? Makes no sense to me. Shouldn't YOU be asking the questions?"

mirenrulz: "Yeah, but Grarrg answers me by asking questions."

Grarrg: "I exist, don't I? I have not yet become extinct? Helloooooo out there!!! Anyone home in that tiny little body of yours?"

_snow_man_: "Um ... I'm confused."

mirenrulz:" Never mind."

_snow_man_: "OK ... back to you miren."

Grarrg: "About time!"

mirenrulz: "Sorry, Grarrg. Anyway, there are a total of 22,595,055 people and pets in Neopia.

Grarrg: "OK. Then there are 22,595,055 people and pets in the Tyrannian Army, minus 4555.

mirenrulz: "What's that?"

Grarrg: "Don't you humans go to school????

mirenrulz: "Well, OK. If that's what you say. Now, is Tyrannia in grave danger, or just in a minor amount?"

Grarrg: "Huh? Speak English!"

mirenrulz: "I am speaking English. In other words, is Tyrannia in big danger, or small danger?"

Grarrg: "Could be small, could be big. Why do you little humans want to know, anyway???"

mirenrulz: "_snow_man_, why do we want to know? Please explain to this very confused Grarrl."

Grarrg: "My name is GRARRG! MY NAME IS NOT GRARRL!!!

mirenrulz: "Sorry, GRARRG. GRARRL is the species you are."

Grarrg: "I am not a species!!!! I am GRARRG!!"

mirenrulz: "_snow_man_, please cut in?"

_snow_man_: "I've been waiting for centuries. Anyway, Grarrg, we need you to answer these questions so that we can write a Neopian Times article...OK?"

Grarrg: "Neopian Times....Neopian Times...hmmm. Never read it."

_Snow_man_: *sighs* "It's a newspaper."

Grarrg: "I don't read newspapers. I read ways to defeat the enemies of Tyrannia! Much more interesting."

_Snow_man_: "mirenrulz, you can interview him now."

Grarrg: "What what I supposed to answer?!"

mirenrulz: "Is Tyrannia in small danger, or big danger?"

Grarrg: "Danger. Danger. Hmm. Small, or big? Hmm. What does it matter how small, how big?! Danger is danger!"

mirenrulz: "About the Omelette. Should we keep on collecting pieces, or should we do something else?"

Grarrg: "Little human, little brain. Do you usually pass up the chance to get free food?! Keep on collecting, they feed you three times a day OF COURSE YOU SHOULD!!"

mirenrulz: "OK! Relax. One more question, and we'll let you go."

Grarrg: "Let me go?! Let me go!? I can go whenever I like!!!!"

mirenrulz: "OK, should we start saving up food, battle items, etc... to get ready for the war?

Grarrg: "Would you let me open up your head? I want to see how many dead brain cells there are in there. Of course you should! Naturally you should! Anyone with half a brain cell should know that! The dark days are coming back to Neopia, and we have to be ready!!"

mirenrulz: "Well, thanks...I think. You can go now, Grarrg. I don't have any more questions for you."

Grarrg: *lumbers back to Army Tent* "I'll be seeing you."

mirenrulz: "Well, back to you, _snow_man_."

_snow_man_: "Thanks, mirenrulz. Well, Neopians, we have learned from this article that yes, we SHOULD be saving up food, Tyrannia will be invaded soon, and yes, we should keep eating up the Giant Omelette. Well, that's it for today, fellow Neopians. Watch the eleven o' clock news for more about this interview. Good night.