The Stuff - Has Neopia had Enough?

by epk

A few days ago, people have noticed brownish water at Aisha Avenue. Dr. Axter told me that it was caused by the food item, the stuff. She also mentioned that after a few samples, it must of been caused by a droplet of stuff that a poor pet wouldn't eat and disposed of in the sewer. Now, 124 days later, it took over the sewer. Dr. Axter also has a degree in Stuff Research, so I asked her a few questions. I was now curious...who invented the stuff? Why did they? And does Edna the Witch have anything to do with its creation? I started off on a great adventure, hoping to find the mystery mind of the mystery meat, with only three clues. A) Used to work at a place called Snowy Valley ____, B) Had the recipe for 20 years before making it for the first time, and C) Doesn't eat it! Also, another fact is that Dr. Axter learned most of her knowledge from somebody called Mister Pickles...did he have anything to do with this?

I started off with a copy of the Neopedia Article The Stuff, a plate...err...an air-proof bag of it, and also a bit of NP. I stopped by the Neopian Book Store and asked the shopkeeper if he knew anything and had any books about the subject. The shopkeeper said no, but did know the owner of the infamous Neopian Library had some information about my current interest.

When I arrived, I noticed the Lenny was looking at a yearbook. "Hello?" I asked her. She closed the yearbook when I caught the title Snowy Valley High on the cover. The high school had something to do with it all! The first clue was that the creator worked at Snowy Valley ____...what else then Snowy Valley High? I checked out the book 101 The Stuff Recipes (None of which are good.) and was on my way to Snowy Valley High.

When I got there, I met up with Mrs. Pop Tart who was the current teacher at The Art of Slushie Making. We had a good cup of slushie while discussing this topic. "Well, although I've never made a Stuff flavored slushie, I do know it is more rancid than a Buzz! Then again, why don't you ask the lunch lady? She's the Soup Faerie's daughter and cooks a lot better then her mom. Also she is ranked having the 7th best food in all of Neopia, just beaten by those crazy Lennys at the top of Terror Mountain, the omelette, and the Breadmaster. A few others are ahead also but..."

This was when I reminded her about the topic, she showed me the way to the cafeteria and gave me a free lunch pass. I also got her phone number, just in case I ran out of Slushies.

It was lunch time for a few students who had just arrived from band practice. They were gobbling down the Mystery Meat, which contained 5 Negg Tokens today each. After discovering why the cook was on the high score list, I took out my Negg Tokens and took a bite of the best tasting Mystery Meat ever. I found out that a kid from band was amazed to have a real-life Neopian Times writer in his school, and mentioned he was taking a class in journalism. He had just sent an article to Neopian Times and mentioned his name was Little Bol. When I told him about the stuff he almost cried out laughing. "I saw a Angelpuss walking by the entrance with a plate of stuff."

I gobbled down the Mystery Meat, took a doggie bag of the rest of the food, and went straight to the entrance. It was just my luck, but the Angelpuss was still there, along with the daughter of the Soup Faerie. I guess I had forgotten to talk to her. I picked up the Angelpuss in case it contained any clues to the mystery and chatted with the Soup Faerie's daughter. She said, "I do know of one interesting place. There is this little hole, and on the other side of it, each week one pound of the stuff appears. I sell it for a lot of money, and I get super rich and am able to supply the school with good food. You want me to show you it?"

I walked over to the hole. The Angelpuss jumped in and popped out with a plate of stuff. I was amazed! I asked if I could visit the Gym Coach. I went over there, picked up a downsize, and went back to the hole and used it. It's hard to walk in shrunken form, and since I didn't see in the right color due to the effects of the weapon and how it only should be used on NeoPets only. When I reached the end I grew to the regular size and found myself in a huge room with a big device in it. As my colors went back to normal, I found out that nothing appeared to go in, infinite stuff came out! I grabbed a whole bag of it and found the exit, which was exit only. I dropped out from the ceiling and landed in the kitchen. It looked like the old lunch lady was tied up in the whole thing.

I went to the school library and checked out the yearbooks. I found a lunch lady who worked for one year. Her name was Mrs. Jasmine, but I read on, and each year she changed her last name! What was up with that? I knew looking her up in the peoples directory would be impossible.

I visited Mrs. Pop Tart again. She told me to hand her a plate of the stuff. And we made Stuff Slushies. I took a slurp, and it was good! Finally, a use for the mystery meat food. We plugged the stuff to the slushie machine and made a whole line of Slushies. I got onto to the roof of the school and used a slingshot and flung Slushies all over Happy Valley. It was really fun, and the kids consider it a school tradition. Every month now they fling Slushies of stuff. One person told me that they got a Winter Random Event saying "It's a falling slushie! You pick it up..."

Although I couldn't figure out the mysterious lunch lady who created The Stuff, I did figure out some cool recipes to do with the stuff-but watch out, you can't make it at your local cooking pot yet. You need 'inside connections,' and even then, it can't be sold until it is pre-approved by the Neopian Staff of Fine Foods and Other Items, SO don't expect seeing any of these anytime soon:

Bread + The Stuff = Expanding Bread
Although this doesn't spoil, it makes a real good sourdough! It's about the size of a everyday Negg, and it even has a little stem! Eat it all but the stem, and wait for it to expand. It can also be called Friendship Stuff Bread, because you can eat it over again, and again, and you can give it to your friends.

Angelpuss + The Stuff = Big Kitty
Watch your Angelpuss grow, and grow, and grow...

Dried Bamboo Table + The Stuff = Growing Table
This table gets bigger, and bigger, just as your family does, and also your pets! No need to buy new tables!

I'm doing research on the item Invisible Paintbrush...maybe you'll hear about my efforts in the next article I write...