Triss and the Psychiatrist

     "Triss, what the heck are you doing?" I asked, carrying a bag of food I had just gotten from the shops. I stopped in the center of her room's doorway and stared at her. "And do I really want to know…?"

     She smiled, "Well, today in school, this one girl came up to me and told me I was stuck up." She paused. "So, to show her I didn't care what she thought, I stuck my nose up in the air, and realized what a great comeback that was! I'm now perfecting it so I can use it more often."

     "Did you do anything to this girl to make her tell you that you were stuck up?" I asked while trying unsuccessfully to cock my left eyebrow.

     Triss bit her lip. "Uh… of course not! You know how rude and unpolite pets are these days!" With that, she turned her attention back to perfecting her newfound comeback in the mirror and I walked away, shaking my head, without even trying to correct her for using "unpolite" instead of "impolite" or asking her to help me with the groceries.

     *****

     "You might be wondering why I called you down here, Triss," I said to my blue Peophin as I sat across the table from her. She rolled her eyes. "You see, I haven't actually seen you get along with anyone outside of our family, so I took it upon myself to make sure that you learn correct social skills."

     Triss's jaw dropped. "You think I have bad social skills?! I am one of the most popular girls in school! I get along with anyone that is willing to suck up to me!"

     "Triss," I said, trying to calm her down. "I just want you to be able to get along with everyone." I paused, thinking. "I want every person you run into to like you," I added cheekily.

     The Peophin paused, thinking about what I just said. Close call, I thought to myself.

     "Well," explained Triss, "since you put it that way, I guess I'll put up with whatever you are going to do to me." I opened my mouth to say something, but I was cut off by my Peophin. "Just what are you planning to do?"

     *****

     Doctor Ralph Earnest Seymour stood glancing at his daily schedule. "Let's see… young Miss Angela's session just ended, and I seem to have a new client…" His list read: O_Trissta_O.

     "Says she has problems fitting in." He glanced back at his own days in school, how he never quite got along with anyone else, how the old Blumaroo stuck his nose in the books all the time. He never regretted it. Doctor Seymour was hitting it big time; being a psychiatrist had its downsides, but the income was great, and the patients usually weren't that bad. At least, they weren't yet.

     Either way, he felt like he would really be able to connect with this client. He'd had troubles fitting in as well. He'd tell her a few success stories, how it didn't matter what other pets thought of her-- a piece of cake.

     There was a knock on the door to his room. Doctor Seymour took off his thick, round glasses, straightened his green plaid tie, and hopped off to the door. He opened it to see a slightly tall boy standing there. He had dark brown hair and eyes, and was wearing a Hikalakas shirt.

     "Hey!" I said, "I'm Apollo, Triss's owner. She stopped to get a drink. Triss should be back soo--"

     "Yeah, yeah," said Triss as she pushed me aside and entered the room. She found a cushioned chair and sat down in it.

     "She's a little pushy," I said to Doctor Seymour.

     "Don't worry about her," replied the psychiatrist. "That is typical of someone not accepted by other peer groups. She should be out of that attitude in no time."

     "Well…." I stopped. He's a professional; he can handle her. "Hey Triss," I shouted to her from the doorway. The Peophin snapped her head around. "I'll be with Trobee this afternoon, so you will have to walk home yourself." She rolled her eyes.

     "Mr. Apollo, Triss will have a wonderful session today, and the time will pass quickly for her. It was a pleasure to meet you, sir."

     "Likewise," I said as I shook his hand and walked out the door and down the hallway.

     "Miss Trissta--" started the Blumaroo as he walked toward her, but Triss cut him off.

     "Mister, Sir, Dude, whatever you are, my friends call me Triss so I guess you can call me Trissta, and don't say 'Miss Trissta;' there are too many 's' sounds in it. By the way, did anyone tell you that plaid was out? Not to mention that a green tie doesn't go well with someone painted yellow like you."

     "Well, aren't you talkative," said Ralph as he smiled through his teeth. "You can call me Doctor or Ralph if you would like."

     "Can I call you Ralphie?"

     "Uh, sure, but we really must get started with the session. Wouldn't you be more comfortable lying on the patient's sofa over there?"

     Triss glanced at what her psychiatrist was referring to. It sure was a sofa-- a weird looking one at that-- resembling a sleigh. It was lavender, padded in diamond shapes with stitches and buttons attaching the leather material. Triss's keen eyes even picked up what seemed like a wet spot. She didn't want to know what caused it.

     "I'd rather just sit here," added the Peophin, cheekily.

     The doctor sat down on the patient's sofa. "Very well then," answered Ralphie, slightly annoyed. "So, your owner wrote that you have trouble getting along in school. Is this true?"

     "Not really," said Triss, "I get along with tons of people. Mainly rich pets who give me stuff, pets who look up to me because I can influence them, and smart pets so they do my work for me! Oh, did I mention the hunky athletic pets? They are so dreamy!"

     This wasn't what Doctor Ralph Earnest Seymour expected. She got along with everyone that he disliked in his school days? No, this wasn't right at all. The only thing that came out of his mouth was, "Seriously?"

     Triss stared at him. "Duh! Do you think someone that looks like me would get along with anyone else? It's just that some people think I'm shallow." Triss stopped and looked into the mirror across the room. "Does this make-up look okay?"

     He couldn't believe it. He'd thought he could relate to this patient. He was wrong.

     The Blumaroo remembered everything that he went through in school. He didn't regret anything, but school was miserable for him. Triss represented everyone who picked on him, everything he was against. All of the anger that he had held in for years and years suddenly came to the surface. His face boiled red with anger and he couldn't control himself. The psychiatrist lifted up his hand, and….

     "Oh… my… Fyora!" shouted Triss as she looked at herself in the mirror across the room. "When you slapped me, you smeared my make-up!" She smiled wickedly. "I'm going to tell the secretary downstairs!" And with that, she bolted out the door, leaving the old Blumaroo trying to catch up and stop her. His job would be on the line if anyone found out he hit a patient. His anger quickly turned into concern as he bolted after her. His old and tired bones didn't help him, though.

     As Triss jumped the last step on the stair case leading up into the hallway where Doctor Ralph Earnest Seymour's office was, the secretary at the reception desk heard her and said, "Is something wrong, honey?"

     "Yeah!" she answered the aging Pteri. "Doctor Ralphie upstairs smeared my make-up!" As if on cue, the Blumaroo appeared at the top of the staircase. Out of breath, he began to descend the steps.

     "And how did he do that, sweetie?"

     "Oh yeah," said Triss, pausing. "He slapped me!"

     The secretary gasped, and the doctor almost fainted. He knew he would lose his job now. A sloppy-looking Chia that was guarding the door took the Blumaroo by his arms and began to lead him to the exit door.

     "You haven't heard the last of me, Miss Trissta!" shouted the now unemployed doctor, as he was pushed out the door, with the Chia taking him in the direction of the Defenders of Neopia Headquarters.

     "Dear," said the secretary as Triss turned her head to face the desk, "I suggest you head to Room 43; he will be your replacement psychiatrist. Your file says you should have fifteen minutes left in your session. You are O_Trissta_O, right?"

     "Yep, thank you!" replied Triss as she trotted toward her designated room.

     *****

     "Hello, is anyone here?" asked Triss as she entered the room. Across the room, a muscular yellow Tuskaninny turned around from looking in a mirror at himself. He had straight, white teeth and the patch of hair on the top of his head was slicked back.

     "Yes, 'ello," he said in an exotic accent. Triss could feel herself melting. "You a patent oi mine?"

     She nodded and slowly began to tell him about when she met Doctor Ralph Earnest Seymour and ended her story with what the secretary had told her. He smiled and nodded. "I vill not be loike that, I think we vill have a productive zession."

     Triss knew she was coming back next week.

The End