TROTRODS - What does it mean?

One thought that briefly entered my head was the Neopian version of hot rods. Speeding down a raceway, the game would be a faster, less destructive version of Bumper Cars. Three points, however, shot this idea down like petpets out of a cannon. 1) Every single letter in that word is capitalized, which usually indicates a type of abbreviation. 2) The entire thing is one word, as opposed to the game being called ‘TROT RODS’. 3) There’s a poster of Sloth for crying out loud! If he made a type of hot rod for innocent Neopians, you can bet they’d self-destruct or blast them to Kreludor or something like that.

So it’s most likely an abbreviation. What could it stand for? It’s pretty likely that the first T stands for ‘The’. Referring back to that picture, I think the ODS at the end stands for ‘Of Doctor Sloth’. The main part of this article will be devoted to three possibilities of the middle four letters ROTR. I don’t think the last R stands for Revenge because Sloth has tried that approach way too many times. ;)

The Reeking Old Terrible Rubbish Of Doctor Sloth

Now, this probably sounds completely random. Yes, it is, but still let me explain the idea behind it. You know things like underwater fishing and Tombola that can give you annoyingly random (or amazingly good) objects? In these, you never get to do anything but press a little button! This flash game works the same, but differently. (Or depending on the amount of water in your cup, it works differently but the same!) Anyway, you get to guide your Neopet through a disgusting pile of Sloth’s own radioactive dump! Beware malfunctioning lasers and broken plot ideas and you could walk away with a powerful new Battledome item. Or you could walk into a toxic pit! It takes luck and chance games to a whole new level of action and adventure!

Here’s the reason why it’s probably not going to happen: I personally don’t visit the Rubbish Dump in Meri Acres Farm, and wouldn’t want to take a chance in Sloth’s version of it. I’m fairly confident that other Neopians feel the same way that I do about the idea. I also wouldn’t risk my Neopets’ sanity just to walk away with Sloth’s really old baby slippers. If the place actually does exist, and isn’t off limits, it really, really should be.

The Rapidly Obliterating Time Robot Of Doctor Sloth

This sounds a lot more like the madman doctor that we all love to hate. In this scenario, Sloth has become very angry about the amount of times his plans were foiled. So what does he do? He creates a super-speedy, dangerously-destructive, time-traveling, rockin’ robot to foil the plans of the Neopians who foiled his plans. You must take control of a Grundo and her faithful robot snowickle. With this petpet’s time-tracking device, you must follow Sloth’s robot (affectionately called ‘Captain Booger’) through every plot featuring the insane doctor. You’ll journey from the scorching sands of the Lost Desert to the deepest, darkest lair of Sloth. But you won’t get to go to Kreludor. He never had a plot there.

This really seems like something that Sloth would be likely to do, doesn’t it? The problem is, the Doctor already has a robot: the S750 Kreludan Defender Robot. This one’s doing his job pretty well, so there’s no reason for Sloth to spend so much time playing 200m Peanut Dash trying to earn Neopoints to build another one. Finding all the materials and appropriate research probably runs in the 1,000,000,000,000’s - and that’s without the cheap labor of unemployed Grundos who need to make a living. For these reasons, I just can’t see Sloth making another robot anytime in the near future.

The Really Overdue Tacky Retirement Of Doctor Sloth

Advertising gimmicks, covert mining operations, world domination, every time he tried one, it failed. Now, he’s finally gotten sick of it. That’s right, you get to finally take control of the lunatic himself and decide how he retires! Do you want to find a nice mansion through Roo Island Properties? Perhaps you’d like to reminisce with hired bounty hunters on Kreludor’s Retirement Castle? Or maybe sunny Tyrannia would be the ideal place to work on that tan? Whatever you do, make sure it’s one of last things Neopians would expect you to do! You’re retired! You don’t need to worry about imposing on their innocent lives anymore! Just sit back, relax, and rock back and forth on your rocking chair, telling baby Neopians stories as they sit on your knees.

Do I really need to shoot this one down myself? Sloth will never retire; it’s just not in his nature. He’ll be plotting out plots for the rest of his days. (Many of which will probably be even more random than what I’m writing about here.) Even if he wanted to retire, the staff’s too smart to let this bag of tricks leave that easily.

I hate to leave you with these parting words, but they’re the truth: TROTRODS could stand for just about anything. (Most of these possibilities, like mine, don’t make much sense.) For all we know, it’s just there to make paranoid people like myself wonder their brains out. On the other hand, we can never be quite sure exactly what Doctor Sloth is up to. Keep on watching that Coming Soon page because one day TROTRODS will be the biggest thing on Neopets! But until then, just play Bumper Cars.

Thank you.