The Camouflage Menace

The Neopets Team might not have meant for this to happen, but it has, and now we must face the consequences. There is now a camouflage color, and the pets painted camouflage are wreaking havoc. You may not have seen it yet, but I assure you it is true. No one is safe from the great camouflage menace. We thought we had seen the worst of it when the invisible pets were released, but boy were we wrong. I have written this article to restore order to Neopia, and to prevent further problems from arising. Read on, and learn what to do and what not to do when dealing with this dangerous color.

DON'Ts

• If you paint your pet Camouflage, you should probably avoid playing hide and seek with it – you will either lose miserably, or you’ll never see your pet again, and it will rot in its hiding place waiting for you.

• Once you paint your pet camouflage, don’t make it mad. Thanks to its new paint job, it could easily run away, or steal everything from the safety deposit box. (Despite all those alarms you set up around it)

• Outfitting your neohome with all the latest camouflage items might seem like a good idea at first, but when you come home and start talking to the couch because you think it is your pet….well, that could cause problems.

• Going out with your pet could become a problem, seeing as it will blend in so easily with the crowd. The author of this article suggests putting some sort of mask on your pet so you will be able to spot it in a crowd, or keeping your pet on a leash at all times. (Unfair, but highly effective)

• You, the owner, should avoid wearing camouflage clothing of any kind, otherwise you could find yourself very, very confused.

• Do NOT give a camouflage pet any sort of battledome weapon, or any trick toys. We all know that is just asking for trouble, and I am sure we don’t want a crazed camouflage menace terrorizing neopia….

• Pamper but do not spoil your pet. This can cause rage and greed issues, which are much more serious when your pet can disappear right in front of you, thanks to the paintbrush you used on it.

• Do not paint a jokester or troublemaker camouflage. That is just asking for trouble…

• Do not leave your camouflage pet alone. No matter what the circumstances, it would be unwise and reckless to do such a thing.

• Do not set your pet free on April First. Honestly, what would possess you to do such a thing?

DOs

As the author of this article, I advise all Neopians to only paint/morph their pets camouflage if they have very keen eyesight and good reflexes. If you already have a camouflage pet, I suggest getting a good security system installed, with extra protection near your SDB, just in case your pet gets a bit greedy….In fact, I suggest that everyone get a security system put in or upgraded, because if you are caught without one when the menace strikes….ooh, you don’t even want to know…. Get your pet involved with the Defenders of Neopia. Try and encourage good behavior, because as we said before, a camouflage menace is BAD. Give your pet lots of books to keep them preoccupied. And when they have read every book, have them play games, but only certain games. I suggest Chia Bomber 2, as your pet’s camouflage will give them a very nice advantage….and possibly earn you a shiny high score trophy! Also, check in on your camouflage pet frequently. Even if only for a moment, it is a very smart thing to do.

On April Fool’s Day, and I cannot stress this enough, keep your camouflage pet on a tight leash! Literally! This day, harmless as it may seem, is the perfect opportunity for camouflage pets to strike fear into the hearts of Neopians by swiping SDBs, and playing cruel practical jokes on everyone. So, I advise owners of camouflage pets to lock up your pet on April First, and do not allow it outside your home!

I also suggest that you have at least two pets if you are going to paint a pet camouflage. That way when you are not around, your other pet can look after the camouflage one. I also suggest that this pet be either big and strong, or very agile with great eyesight. (A Skeith is not recommended for this job). I would suggest a Lupe or Eyrie as your camouflage pet’s constant security detail. They seem to be very agile, and can be rather intimidating if necessary.

The absolute BEST advice I can give you is this: do not paint your pet camouflage if you cannot handle the responsibility. A camouflage pet takes much more time and responsibility than any other pet (except possibly invisible). Instead, save your neopoints, and buy a different paint brush. Perhaps Christmas? Fire? But don’t paint the pet if you can’t handle it!

So, I have now informed you of the great camouflage menace. May you heed my warning and take the appropriate measures to protect yourself and your pets from harm. Perhaps owners of camouflage pets will read this article and discipline their pets, so that one day, in a week, in a month, or in a year, there will be no more cause for alarm because of the camouflage menace.

And also, may the Neopets Team keep a close eye on camouflage pets. You and I both know what they are capable of. :)