Tyrannian Pets – Stones and No Combs

NF: Tee, don’t ever say “jammin’” again…

Tee: Why not?

NF: *Sigh* There go a couple readers.

Tee: What are you talking about?

Yes, it’s Tee and NF here to give you an insider’s look at Tyrannians and their seemingly prehistoric ways of life.

First thing you notice when one sees a Tyrannian pet is that their outfits look simple. But are they really? I think not! The Tyrannian outfit is the latest style in this part of the plateau. Ragged edges on clothes, overgrown teeth and horns, and messy mops of hair may seem odd and simple to you, but these styles are all the rage west of the Giant Omelette! So do not be fooled by appearances and first impressions, my superficial reader. If you really take the time to take a good look at any Tyrannian pet you will see the intelligence in their eyes (that is if you can find them underneath all that hair). Now you may ask, why do some of them look so messy? The Tyrannian Mynci is a suitable example. Though he may be slightly lacking in looks, when you consider all the important jobs that are done by Tyrannian Myncies you’ll find they don’t have the time. Running around all the time with hectic schedules and agendas… Oy! If you had to work all day, would you bother to comb your fur when you need every last second of the day to make a wonderful creation? These reporters certainly wouldn’t (and on occasion don’t).

This brings us to the tiresome and demanding jobs of the Tyrannian pets. Most Neopians do not realize it, but Tyrannian pets have some of the most important jobs in Neopia. Running the Concert Hall and Ticket Booth all day and listening to all those complaints from neopets who didn’t get a ticket, protecting the city from the lair of the beast, making some of the best weapons in Neopia (all of them in perfect condition I might add) catching the cute Tyrannian petpets that we all adore and fixing all the wheels in Neopia in case one breaks – for no one makes better wheels than Tyrannians. The day of a Tyrannian pet is filled with jobs that must be done. However that is not to say they can’t have fun every now and again.

Tyrannia has many activities to offer. For the artists there are the Cave Paintings, for the sharp shooters: the exciting game of Chia Bomber. We also know most Tyrannian pets get into the concerts since they are the first ones to buy tickets being in the nearest location. And of course for the braver pets, those who dare may enter the lair of the beast, but I’d advise you not to. Those who go in… rarely return… *shivers* Then there’s the Tyrannian Battledome to release some tension. Of course the all around favorite; mini golf, just the thought of it is relaxing. There is truly nothing better than playing mini golf with some friends on a perfect Tyrannian day. The last fun activity is the food!

The food, some of the best ever made (or in this case hunted), is just as good as Kelp but exceedingly cheaper. The names of some foods may be a little… awkward (for example Primordial Thing, Nautilus, etc.) but they are to die for. The chefs cook the food over a black rock right in the direct route of the sun and they cook it all to perfection. The most well known Tyrannian food though is that monstrosorous (yes – that IS a word) omelette. Yes, we all know that a massive dinosaur laid that egg and the sun cooked it, but the chefs put other items of food on it to make it even tastier. And no matter how much they generously give away to other pets, the Tyrannian pets have plenty of food for themselves.

Now their language seems just nonsense to most Neopians, but we do know that the Tyrannian pets can communicate with it. Just by two words (tyranu and evavu) we know that their language does mean something and is not just random harsh syllables thrown together. In understanding that tyranu means higher and evavu means lower, we know that every single word they use must mean something. The most common word used is “Ugga” which could have multiple meanings. If that is so, it takes an intelligent pet to understand what the meaning of this word is in context. However most is just speculation, as few Non-Tyrannian pets are learned in the language.

Now, to prove once more of the intelligence of Tyrannians there is the upheld council of elders. The council of elders are some of the wisest Neopets in Neopia. The inhabitants of Tyrannia, showing some form of structured government, vote upon a council of elders. The current pets in office (if a collection of stones used as a meeting place could be called an office) are as follows:

Kyruggi: The oldest and wisest elder. Some say she was living before Queen Fyora even was born. It was Kyruggi’s quick thinking that saved Tyrannia from the Monoceraptor. And for that, she is and forever will be, respected by all.

Grarrg: At first glance, you’ll say he looks evil. Second glance, you’ll say he looks tough. Third glance – well by the third look he would probably tell you to quit staring at him. Grarrg is the battle master of Tyrannia. He’s always ready to have a good fight but then again, he is also the champion of Tyrannia’s own mini golf tournament. The reason Grarrg is on the council of elders at all is rumored to be out of intimidation – who would dare not vote for this looming beast of a neopet?

Tekal: Tekal, master of spells and potions. He’s not the best potion maker but he can cast some mighty spells. Now Edna and Kauvara raised Tekal, Edna wanted him to be evil; Kauvara wanted him to be good, and somehow the conflict drove him crazy. It is very hard to hold a decent conversation with him.

Plesio: Plesio is the youngest of all the council members. Actually, Plesio isn’t even that old. Many others are above him in age. Yet Plesio is one of the smartest and fastest pets in Tyrannia. He’s one of the kindest council members too if you can get over his rushed demeanor.

Sabre-X: The smartest Elder of all. Those tusks of his make him look like the toughest. But Sabre-X is a big softy at heart. Donating, volunteering at the Soup Kitchen, you name it and he does it. Most people know him from the Giant Omelette, and those who try to steal a second piece know him best. Sabre-X will do anything to get rid of any dishonest thieves in Tyrannia; that is why he devotes his time to the sought after Giant Omelette.

Myncha: Second oldest elder, in charge of the reconnaissance. His life remains a mystery to the general public. He doesn’t show up at town meetings, and it seems like he’s always hidden in the shadows. Just when you think you have spotted him on the streets he goes around a turn ahead and he’s gone.

Having explained Tyrannian pets and their lifestyles I hope you have seen a more intellectual side of Tyrannians.

Still aren’t seeing these pets in a new light? We were afraid of that. So, to give you an inside look at Tyrannians we have right here a genuine Tyrannia Native from the very caves of Tyrannia (well that's where we kidnapped - I mean, er, escorted him from, anyway). Ladies and gentleneopets, the Tyrannian Elephante here to give us the inside story!

NF: What is it like living in Neopia?

Tyrannian Elephante: Trug ugg id nux.

NF: *nods understandingly*

Tee: Erm... NF?

NF: Not now we're in the middle of an interview. So tell me, is Sabre-X really as tough as he seems?

Tyrannian Elephante: Grop drod ugg ugga.

Tee: Ehem!

NF: Not now, I'm on a roll!

Tee: I’ll do it myself then! *leaves and returns in a few seconds with a translator*

NF: Oh... I suppose that might help...

Tee: How long have you been living in Tyrannia?

Tyrannian Elephante: Trik mi ugh gak uggah.

Translation: Well, petty interviewers, I have been in this fine land for quite some time now and find its resources to be very accommodating.

Tee and NF: *blink* *blink*

Tee: Sooo... does that mean you like it?

Tyrannian Elephante: Ooog drek spok ix eng hwo gerr fif ga ga drong gro.

Translation: Well, Tyrannia has been a loving home with great friends. The only complaint I make is of the tourists who treat us like unintelligent brutes when in actuality we are just different. They return with tales of our stupidity and language barriers. It makes Tyrannian Neopets look bad!

Tee: Yeah, that’s awful.

Tyrannian Pet: Ugg tor ok eb dwop.

Translation: They come to the concerts, spin the wheels, and miss the true beauty of my fair homeland - it is truly awful! And the omelettes! All they want is the omelettes!

NF: I looove the omelettes; it’s the only reason I go to Tyrannia.

Tee: NF, wrong thing to say…

NF: What?

Tee: *throws his hands up in exasperation* Anyways, next question: So what’s the best thing to do in Tyrannia?

NF: No, no that's a stupid question, Tee. We need something more hard hitting... *ponders for a moment* What's your favorite color? I like purple. Do you like purple? Tee, do you like purple?

Tee: No actually I like green more -

NF: I mean of course you like purple! Everyone likes purple. Well maybe he doesn't - do you?

Tyrannian Elephante: Eg gu.

Translation: I prefer pink on the contrary.

Tee: Well then... What's the best thing about Tyrannia?

Tyrannian Elephante: Mi ogga goh tik fles uggahg jiko...*blinks* Hy figd byu ugaht pled….

Translation: The sunsets that you can see on the cliffs of Tyrannia...*mumbles* which I'm missing them now because of you pesky paparazzi…

Tee: Um, okay. Yeah, that must be beautiful...

Tyrannian Elephante: Ug tiy gah frea?

Translation: Can I go now?

NF: NO!!! *leaps in front of door*

Tee: Just a few more questions...

Tyrannian Elephante: Ug ag.

Translation: I must object to being held here against my will. It violates many Tyrannian laws and Neopian restrictions and I must demand you set me free at once or I shall call the Neopian Defenders.

NF: Er, there's no need for that...

Tee and NF: *smile sweetly*

NF: Do you like toast?

Tee: What kind of question is that?

NF: A pretty good one, don't you agree, Toffy?

Tee: Who's Toffy?

NF: Him of course.

Tee: Who's him?

NF: The pet I took to be interviewed of course!

Tee: What do you mean you took this pet to be interviewed? You were supposed to find someone that volunteered…

NF: *glares* Just let Toffy answer the question.

Tee: Just let me ask the questions from now on, all right?

NF: Fine... but then what am I supposed to do?

Tee: Smile and look pretty. So Toffy -

NF: - Aww!!! You are very pretty too, Tee! *hugs*

Tee: 0.o That's not what I was going for... *breaks free from NF* What is your name?

Tyrannian Elephante: Tioe.

Translation: Toffy.

Tee: Oh...

NF: *smirks*

Tee: You're feeling very smug right now, aren't you?

NF: Nooo... not at all... *snicker*

Tyrannian Elephante: Ug tiy gah frea.

Translation: Can I go now?

Tee: NF, did you take him from his home to interview without his permission?

NF: Not really... It was more wrestled...

Tee: That's horrible!!! Here, take this bag of Neopoints as long as you won't tell anyone about this, good citizen of Tyrannia.

Tyrannian Elephante: Uh Tih Gid Gat! *runs away happily*

NF: Wait what did he say? Where'd the translator go?

Tee: Heh, nowhere. I'll just go take - mean find another willing soul...

NF: Hypocrite! You took the Translator!

Tee: Not take per say...