There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 118,491,560 Issue: 238 | 5th day of Hunting, Y8
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The Vanishing Books


by evilsierraassassin

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There is a new and surprising shock sweeping Neopia as numerous pet owners hold their poor, disheartened pets. This amazing and terrible occurrence is happening all over Neopia, and its occurrences are nothing compared to the questions that follow it. What is this tear jerking incident, you ask?

Neopians everywhere were both shocked and disturbed a few weeks ago when their books started spontaneously vanishing in puffs of multicolored smoke. Reporters and detectives alike have been on the scene, attempting to determine what has caused these disappearances.

We went out to the field to ask the police what has been causing this strange goings on, and received a quote from an officer in the Space Station who replied “Well, it appears that as the Neopets read these books, they vanish away, never to be seen again.”

Of course, we replied with, “Yeah Yeah, we got that part, but what has been CAUSING them?”

The kind Grundo officer quickly answered “Uh… well, that information is, uh… confidential, so you have to leave the premises.”

We have beliefs that the authorities are lying to us about the vanishing books. So we went to ask a few victims of this gruesome crime. One small pet from Neopian Central was quoted as saying, “I was reading my favorite book, Cybunny Art. I was really happy, because I love looking at Cybunnies; they're all so cute! Anyways, I was just getting to the good part, and… it vanished!” The young Aisha then burst into tears and was led out of the room crying.

We also questioned a small Bruce from Happy Valley who managed to say, “I love books; I love looking at the pictures. I was looking at a real pretty picture of a garden gnome because you don’t find many garden gnomes around Terror Mountain, and then… my book was gone!” The pet sniffled sadly “I don’t know what kind of horrible people would do this… it’s just no fair!”

Other Neopets, though, have found this to be a relieving event, and celebrate the loss of books in Neopia.

One young schoolboy told us, “I don’t need any books! They’re useless to me! School, and learning, and all that kinda stuff is boring anyways. Whoever is making those books disappear must be my hero!”

We also spoke to a Krawk in the Marketplace who laughed out loud. “I was reading an Algebra book the other day for school, and I was really bored with it, right? So then, about five minutes later, it vanished! I didn’t have to do my homework for a week!” cried out the overjoyed pet.

There are those, of course, who are not only angered by these occurrences but enraged! We received a letter from an angry reader stating, “I think that these disappearances are an outrage! We spend good money on books for our precious pets, and all we get back are puffs of smoke! Those people should be ashamed!” and then the writer continued ranting using words we cannot publish. We have also had several other owners go to bookshops demanding refunds for all of their vanished books.

This has also been a bad time for bookshop owners all over Neopia, from Neopian Central, to Kreludor. Bookshops in more remote places such as Faerieland have closed down to avoid the press. We have not received any quotes from their owners. Just yesterday, a small public rant appeared in front of the Neopian Central Bookshop, demanding that they put a stop to all this madness before they start to take real action.

The owner of the shop told us anxiously, “I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t know what’s causing all this commotion, but I can’t do anything to stop it! I don’t know why they are all complaining to me! They should go yell at the authorities; they don’t seem to be doing much!”

Scientists have had recent beliefs that the books are disappearing due to their wishes to be read by only one Neopet, then vanishing into thin air. This is their way of keeping knowledge from being spread too widely. They also have a theory that this is a ploy made by the shopkeepers to earn them more money from people buying multiple copies of the same transcript, so it can be shared with all of their pets. Skeptics believe that the books are just logically being stolen due to their raise in prices and that these prices should be lowered in order to stop the disappearances.

There have been several suspects for the disappearances of the books. Some suppose it is the return of the notorious Dr. Sloth, while others think that it is Lord Darigan’s revenge on Brightvale (since their number one sales item is books). Of course, we do not know what Lord Darigan wants revenge for.

With further research, we have discovered that there have been disappearances such as the present ones in the past, leaving pets without books or decent education. Of course, this has not become a problem until just recently.

So what are the police doing about these crimes? They have been working twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week to find answers to the mysteries and questions shrouded in the puffs of multicolored smoke. One middle aged Scorchio told us, “Well, I’ve been working on the force for a while, and I’ve never seen anything like this. It’s a real mind boggler. I’d like to just stop investigating and call this a cold case, but the public has gotten so worked up about it, I don’t think that we’ll be quitting the job anytime soon.”

So the question still remains. How did this happen? Why is it happening? Who or what is behind it? Will we find the answers? Will the mystery be solved? And why are all the puffs of smoke different colors? It’s a mystery waiting to be solved. We all hope that one day, pet owners will be able to buy a book for their pets without them disappearing into a puff of multicolored smoke. That way, they can enjoy and share the same stories over and over again.

Detectives hope to find more information on the subject, and we hope to have more information for you in a later article.

 
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