Are "Special" Items Really So Special?

Well, what's so special about it, you ask? Excellent question! Is there a simple answer? Silly bean, of course not. Nothing in Neopia is simple! Surely you should know that by now (especially if you've ever tried your hand at Mystery Pic or that sneaky Lenny Conundrum). Despite the daunting task looming ahead of me, I will attempt to show you the ins and outs of those "special" items.

First of all, they are apparently special enough to have their own category in your safety deposit box. However, they are not special enough to have any rhyme or reason to their organization. So if you're looking for something in particular, you will likely have to sift through pages of items to find what you are looking for. Luckily, you won't be trying to quickly feed any Kads from this category (you know that starving little critters are not going to wait around on you), so don't let it cause you too much distress.

Next let's look at the diversity of "special" items. The ever-popular secret laboratory map is a "special" item. This 600k item is on the most-wanted list of the majority of pet owners. Those people with the fortitude to save up that much will likely spend it on this before buying anything else. When I was just a Newbie in Neopia, it was the first major purchase I made. Hey, where else can you get a Blue Draik without going completely bankrupt, if you can even get one at all? The possibilities are limitless. With one click of a button you can lose all your hard-earned training stats, or you can gain stats by leaps and bounds.

Another "special" item is the baby brother of the secret lab map. You know what I'm talking about - the petpet laboratory map! This little treasure can provide you with the petpet of your dreams (in theory) and all for about 20k or less. Of course, you have to have its big brother first, but you already knew that. Why, I was lucky enough to get a Blue Krawk out of my cardboard Ditzy, but since zapped pets don't enjoy quite the same perks (i.e. getting that elusive Krawk pet) as unzapped ones, it got blasted again. Now I've got the cutest little Purple Hasee! This saved me a whopping 3 mil in points. That is what even my mother would call a great return on my money! Then again, it could just get renamed Pants McGee, but we don't dwell on those days. Too depressing!

The other fabulous "special" items highly sought in Neopia (for the same reason as the maps) are paint brushes (both regular and petpet). Have you spent more points than you want to think about while painting your pets (you could have had Adam's avie by now)? You know you have! I know I have. Why? Because they are our babies, that's why! They deserve the best, even if it means we have to ignore the laundry, skip work, fail to turn in homework assignments, and do all within our power to be able to buy them the best.

Maybe you're a music lover. If so, then you know that concert tickets are yet another "special" item. Hey, it's worth 2k to be able to get that cool Jub Zambra and the Cobrall Charmers T-shirt and impress all your friends with your fashion sense!

If you're not a music lover or a pet painter, then maybe you're a **cough** gambler. Do you stockpile your Race to Riches scratchcards, or does the suspense get to you and you have to scratch them right away? Either way, these little beauties are also "special" items.

Next we have the not-so-great "special" items. Every one of us has a safety deposit box filled with these things. Maybe you're trying to get the pack rat avatar and you'll take whatever you can get to reach your goal (or you just like collecting worthless junk). Maybe you're a woman that has to have that closet filled with shoes, even if they are rotten. Whatever the reason, these "special" items never seem to be in short supply.

If you like to fish, chances are you have plenty of rotting driftwood . Anyone need to start a fire (maybe you can grill those fish)? If you're still searching for those six non-dung items in Meri Acres, then you will likely have rotten berries, some that are not so rotten, bits of barbed wire, old boots, and a tremendous amount of dung (but we don't talk about that).

Unfortunately, there are way too many "special" items in Neopia for me to cover here, and the Times wouldn't be able to get their issue out (due to a shortage of ink) if I tried to list them all, but maybe you'll take a second glance at that "special" item the next time one comes your way. Hopefully, it will make you ask yourself how a 500k secret laboratory map and a worthless bucket of sludge can BOTH be called special! If you thoroughly think this through, AND if you are a person of reasonable intelligence, I think that you will have to come to the same conclusion as me. It's all an evil plot by Dr. Sloth to drive us completely insane!