An Interview With the Book Shop Nimmo!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Book Shop Nimmo.

Mr. Nimmo: Before we even start, I'd just like to state that I do in fact have a name. I get most annoyed when I am referred to as anything other than what my mother named me.

Alice: Oh, I am sorry sir. For the record, what is your name?

Mr. Nimmo: There is a slight pause. Booksrcool2293.

Alice: ... I see. We'll keep that in mind. Anyway, let's get started. As you can see, I am here today with my Flotsam, Sunburn. He has many things to thank you for, as he is an avid book reader himself, with an intelligence level of 482. Could you tell us how you first got into the book business?

Booksrcool2293: Yes, certainly. When I was a young tadpole, I was encouraged by my parents to read as much as I could. It soon became an obsession actually and I found that my head was always buried between the laminated pages of the latest John Lupe novel.

Sunburn: Laminated?

Booksrcool2293: How else are underwater Neopets supposed to even finish a chapter?

Alice: Good point. On with the interview, then... How did you progress from the obsession to the profession?

Booksrcool2293: Well, as my legs started to form, it became easier for me to hop down to the local library and pick out anything I wanted. It suddenly occurred to me that all I ever did was read... so I decided it would be a waste to do anything other than start up a book shop. I did know all about books after all. From 'The Da Vira Code' right up to the likes of 'Silence of the Meepits'.

Sunburn: Yes, enthralling. As you've read so many books, your intelligence level must be mind-bogglingly high... do you mind if I ask what it may be?

Booksrcool2293: He looks skyward, thoughtfully. Let's just say that I am frasmotic, anispeptic... even gruntumptuous to have been a part of such pericombobulation.

Alice: ... Absolutely.

Sunburn: Moving swiftly on... I do believe books are quite popular in Neopia Central. Do you sell out very quickly?

Booksrcool2293: Oh yes, incredibly fast. I can hardly keep up with Neopians thrusting their money at me and grabbing and fighting over books as soon as new ones come into stock. I should hire more staff...

Alice: Sounds like a good idea. I say, wouldn't it be nice to take a break? Don't you ever get tired of doing the same thing day after day? Especially since you're on your own.

Booksrcool2293: Oh Fyora no, I am most wrapped up in my work... I would not know what I'd do if I were ever to leave. The mere thought of what a replacement bookkeeper could do to my shop horrifies me!

Alice: Ah, yes, I see what you're saying... Whispering. Sunburn, go and cancel the all-expenses paid trip to Krawk island. Tell Adam I'm sorry.

Booksrcool2293: What was that?

Alice: Just ordering some kelp, I thought you may be hungry.

Booksrcool2293: Oh, how kind.

Alice: Yes, kind... so, sir, do you ever see yourself moving away from the book store? Perhaps moving to Kreludor and helping out at Booktastic Books?

Booksrcool2293. Absolutely not. What a ridiculous name that store has!

Alice: Of course... so erm, booksrcool2293, would you care sharing some information on how to get unruly pets to read more books? We've had a few readers from the Neopian Times asking for advice.

Booksrcools2293: Ah, it always surprises me when I hear about young pets rebelling against education! How preposterous. However, I suggest you try buying some books that are aimed towards their audience... I've sold many that have been big hits, you know.

Alice: Could you name a few, to help out all those distressed owners out there?

Booksrcool2293: Why, certainly. I always thought 'Grarrl Comics' would appeal to a young ragamuffin or tear away Grarrl... whereas 'Skeith Defender Comics' may appeal to an unruly Skeith. There's also the 'Tonu Comic Annual' that could interest a naughty-

Alice: Tonu?

Booksrcool2293: My, you're quite the book connoisseur!

The Flotsam returns.

Sunburn: Sorry about my absence, I just had to do... something else.

Booksrcool2293: No kelp?

Sunburn: ... I beg your pardon?

Alice: WHAT this kind bookkeeper means is that you were supposed to go and get some kelp to fill his appetite... remember?! There is a quick hand movement.

Sunburn: Ouch! Fine, I'll be right back, I guess...

Alice: Sorry about that. He's got a high intelligence but the memory of a Jetsam.

Booksrcool2293: Please, it is not a problem.

Alice: Just looking at my list here, I have only a couple more things to ask. Would you say that pets in general have a high enough intelligence?

Booksrcool2293: On the whole, I would have to say no. For example, the Kreludor book shop you mentioned earlier is run by a Grundo... They are extremely well known for their dimwittedness and idiocy. I fail to imagine how that store is run properly!

Alice: I believe they do quite well, as a matter of fact.

Booksrcool2293: I suppose he's been brainwashed and is being controlled by Doctor Sloth. He snorts.

Alice: Please sir, no politics. Children read my articles.

Booksrcool2293: How embarrassing for you.

Alice: Ahem, yes. As I was saying, what makes you believe that pets these days aren't smart enough? Has it always been like this or do you think it's a new phase?

Booksrcool2293: Having lived for quite a while, I can safely say that it's the new generation that is having a problem with reading. Back in my day, there was no 'Snowmuncher' at the arcade! You were lucky if you could get a go at 'Kau Korral' without waiting in line! There are way too many distractions nowadays.

Alice: Well, that's certainly an interesting viewpoint.

Sunburn arrives again.

Sunburn: Here you are sir, a range and variety of different Maraquan kelp to fill your stomach.

Booksrcool2293: Oh... I must have forgotten to mention that I only like the giant green kind... sorry.

Sunburn groans.

Alice: Anyway, I'm afraid we're fresh out of time. We'd like to thank you greatly for having this chat with us and I'm sure your opinions on books will interest our readers. Hopefully it'll inspire them to read a bit more!

Booksrcool2293: That's the only reason I agreed to this interview, actually.

Alice: You're trying to boost your sales?

Booksrcool2293: Correct.

Alice: ...

Sunburn: We better not include that bit.