Faerie Wars: Tactics

Before I start (and just in case you’ve been living in a closet these past few days), here’s a brief rundown of what’s been happening.

The Faeries are in an uproar over Queen Fyora’s shocking announcement a week ago. The queen proclaimed she was going to cut one type of Faerie quest because too many Faeries were giving them out.

The Faeries have been fighting it out since then, hurling insults and magic spells left and right. Things can only get worse. No one wants her quest to get cut! Fyora says a full-out battle could be the only way to get things resolved properly.

And, I quote, “The winning camp gets to choose which type of Faerie quest I’m going to cut. Besides, I’d rather they hurt one another than they gang up on me in a coup d'état. Wait. Did I just say that? Could you, ah, erase that from your notes, please?”

Sorry, Fyora. A reporter’s first responsibility is to the public’s right to know.

Moving on, here are the dossiers I’ve compiled on the camps including battle strategies and weaknesses. Read carefully, think thoroughly, and choose wisely!

FIRE FAERIES

Leader: Blaze the Fire Faerie

Motto: “Don’t play with fire or you’ll get burned!”

Camp Colour(s): Red, orange, yellow

Current No. of Neopian Followers (%): 8% (of registered Neopians)

Weapon(s) of Choice: Fire darts, fireballs

Strategy: Blaze says they will be focusing on a full-blast flaming aerial attack because after all, offense is the best defense. Members will fly towards the enemy in V-formation while sending a nonstop volley of darts and fireballs the foe’s way. The Fire Faeries have already practised countless times and Blaze is proud to say that they will be able to defeat a camp efficiently in under thirty minutes of their relentless dart throwing.

Neopet Preference: Although Blaze says everyone is welcome; she encourages Shoyrus, Scorchios, Faerie pets, and other winged pets to join the camp. “Not that I’m trying to bring the other pets down or anything, but being able to fly is really essential to my camp’s strategy.”

Strengths: The Fire Faerie camp is the strongest in terms of sheer strength. It is full of determined, hardworking Faeries all with the passion to win. In short: they won’t stop until they win. Their offensive attack, if executed correctly, is almost invincible.

Weaknesses: Since they battle head-on (and their clothes are so bright and fiery), the enemy can prepare a counterattack as soon as they spot a flash of orange in the horizon. Their defense is also pretty weak, in general. Pets who join this camp should train hard and build up their stamina. Continuous offense is tiring work.

LIGHT FAERIES

Leader: Glare the Light Faerie

Motto: “Cool + cunning = success.”

Camp Colour(s): Yellow

Current No. of Neopian Followers (%): 18%

Weapon(s) of Choice: Glowing swords and shields

Strategy: Glare and her camp will be wearing lightweight magic-proof Faerie armour to maximize the Light Faeries’ quickness of feet (and wings). Glare’s strategy focuses on balance. Her members are trained for both aerial and terrestrial battle. Half of her camp will be fighting from the air, the other half on the ground. The Faeries are arranged in groups of 100 members each. These groups are then arranged in two close-knit lines on the ground while the aerial units will be spread across the sky.

Neopet Preference: “If you think you’ve got what it takes to win this war, then by all means, I welcome you to my camp.” This is Glare’s advice to pets who are thinking of joining her troops. “Just make sure that you know what you’re getting into and that you’re prepared to do everything in your power to help me.”

Strengths: These Faeries are cool and calculating. Their plan is to let the enemy come to them before launching their assault. Glare refuses to reveal any of their offensive attacks, but judging by the smirk on her face when I asked, I bet they’re really good. The Light Faeries’ glowing shields also serve two defensive purposes: to protect them from physical attacks and to avert magic attacks, propelling them towards the enemy.

Weaknesses: Their weaknesses are difficult to determine as of yet. The strategies Glare formulated are pretty much foolproof. She told me so herself. Or perhaps, this could be the camp’s weakness. Things can go awry when one thinks too much...

EARTH FAERIES

Leader: Jodi the Earth Faerie

Motto: “For the glory of the Earth!”

Camp Colour(s): Green, brown

Current No. of Neopian Followers (%): 13%

Weapon(s) of Choice: Bows and arrows made of the sturdiest oak

Strategy: Although war leader Jodi can be a bit of a ditz, she says she’s come up with a viable plan. Earth Faeries are normally peaceable creatures. According to the Earth Faerie manual, in case of war, they should avoid direct confrontation as much as possible. Jodi seems to have (mis?)interpreted this as a signal to fight from afar instead of close-range. The plan is to defeat the enemy long before they reach the Earth Faerie camp (located near the base of the forest) using a nonstop volley of arrows.

Neopet Preference: “Um, I dunno, anyone who can wield a bow, I suppose,” says Jodi with a scratch of her head. “Maybe the Krawks, Rukis, and Eyries would like to help. I hear they’re naturally gifted at these things.” Pause. “They’re not? Never mind... what were we talking about again?”

Strengths: The Earth Faeries are sharp-eyed and very athletic. Each Faerie can manually fire 34 arrows per minute. When aided with her Earth magic, a Faerie can release as much as 100 arrows at the same amount of time. Now, imagine thousands of Faeries firing 100 strong arrows each per minute. At you. Jodi’s camp can easily wipe out their enemies without getting a single scratch.

Weaknesses: If the enemies can somehow get close to Jodi’s camp without anyone noticing, the Earth Faeries’ arrows will decrease in effectiveness (their arrows work best at long-range rather than short-range). And I don’t think Jodi’s thought of a defense yet.

AIR FAERIES

Leader: Storm the Air Faerie

Motto: “True strength does not lie in numbers.”

Camp Colour(s): Powder blue

Current No. of Neopian Followers (%): 5% (Least Populated Camp)

Weapon(s) of Choice: Winged silver swords

Strategy: “We Air Faeries aren’t really the type who fight. Honestly, I don’t want to hurt anyone. Unless...” Storm’s eyes narrow into slits at this point. “Unless, they’re asking for it, of course. They’ll get what’s coming to them! You see if they don’t.” Brrr. Anyway, Storm plans to win the battle before it’s even begun. Her tactics involve destroying the other camps’ resources. “A Faerie can be effortlessly immobilized without supplies, stamina, and magic. My camp plans to destroy all nearby sources for food, magical ingredients, weapons, and the like. After we’ve successfully weakened our enemies, we’ll move in for the kill.”

Neopet Preference: Storm says frankly, they don’t care. “If they want to join us, then that’s that.”

Strengths: The Air Faeries are excellent in stealth. They can easily go about destroying supplies without getting spotted. Their sword skills are also legendary in Faerieland so they won’t really have a hard time if they need to attack the enemy directly.

Weaknesses: If somehow their strategy fails or if the camp they’re attacking simply has more powerful members, then they’re done for.

DARK FAERIES

Leader: Nychta the Dark Faerie

Motto: “We will destroy you!”

Camp Colour(s): Purple, black

Current No. of Neopian Followers (%): 30% (Most Populated Camp)

Weapon(s) of Choice: Dark magic. The Dark Faerie Camp is the only camp that won’t be using any physical weapons, just pure magic. “We’re Faeries, after all. Faeries fight with magic,” says Nychta with a cold smile.

Strategy: The Dark Faeries’ strategy can be summed up in one word: destroy. “We will annihilate anyone or anything that stands in the way of success. It’s as simple as that,” Nychta says, smirking.

Neopet Preference: “Really, a Dark Faerie doesn’t need any help! What an incredulous idea,” Nychta says, tears of mirth in her eyes. “For some reason, though, everyone wants to join my camp. Now that I think about it, why wouldn’t they? We are obviously going to win.”

Strengths: This camp is undeniably strong, possibly the strongest in all aspects. The Dark Faeries know every trick that’s not in the book and they’re not afraid to use them. They are also very cruel and malicious (tortured anyone lately?). I’d hate to be in their way.

Weaknesses: The Dark Faeries are kind of like the antithesis of Light Faeries. They don’t think at all (I mean, really! They don’t have to.). In a game of real strategy, they’d lose.

WATER FAERIES

Leader: Well the Water Faerie

Motto: “It’s not about power; you have to be like water.”

Camp Colour(s): Aqua blue, white

Current No. of Neopian Followers (%): 19%

Weapon(s) of Choice: 6-ft tall and 3-ft tall halberds for long and short-range attacks

Strategy: “We’ll fight in the water because that’s where we’ll do best,” Well says with confidence. All except fifty special squads of Faeries (which will make up the front guard) will be submerged underwater waiting for their attackers. Their camp is surrounded by an inviolable force field (in actuality, a large air packet) made and strengthened by their best Faeries. The front guard will be equipped with 6-ft tall spears to be hurled in case enemies manage to get past their force field. The rest of the Faeries have 3-ft tall halberds for close-range attacks to be used in the worst-case scenario (that is, if the front guard gets beaten). “The other Faeries are strong but that doesn’t mean they have endless energy. Soon enough, they’ll get tired and when they do, we can beat them easily,” adds Well.

Neopet Preference: “Pets who live in the water like Kikos, Jetsams, and Peophins are obviously best fit for our camp. We give free Water Faerie Tokens to all our members, though, so pets who can’t breathe underwater can still join us.”

Strengths: This camp has the best defense, no question about it. Plus, if any of the Faeries actually get hurt, they all have the ability to heal themselves. That means, hurt pets can be healed, too.

Weaknesses: Their offensive attacks are only mediocre. Break their defense and you’ll have a great chance of defeating them.

PEACEMAKERS

Leader: Smelly the Fire Faerie

Motto: Make Flaming Fire Faerie Cakes, not war!

Camp Colour(s): None (well, any colour works)

Current No. of Neopian Followers (%): 7%

Weapon(s) of Choice: Their big mouths and large multicoloured banners

Strategy: Smelly’s plan is to gather as many Neopians as possible and hold big protest rallies against the war. “This war is just going to harm a lot of Neopians so why even start it?” Smelly says, compassion in her brown eyes. They’ll also be starting a hunger strike if the war isn’t called off.

Neopet Preference: “We’ll be needing pets who love speaking in public... those who aren’t afraid to say what’s on their minds and can speak for long hours without getting croaky,” Smelly says. “I think we especially need Usuls and Unis in our group because, you know, they’re pretty vocal about... stuff. If they can bring their Kadoaties with them, so much the better. We need criers.” She blinks. “To appeal to pets’ pity and all that.”

Strengths: Barring the threat of starvation, this camp is the safest from harm. The worst you can get is a hoarse throat and maybe some rotten tomatoes in your fur.

Weaknesses: As her name implies, Smelly is... rather smelly. Don’t join if you have a sensitive nose (*cough* Or if you actually want to win *cough*).

All done. I hope I succeeded in helping you make up your mind.

Remember: to join the plot, decide which one of your pets you’d like to sign up for the war then choose which camp you want them to join! Good luck and here’s to the return of a peaceful Neopia!