An Interview With the Kiko Lake Altador Cup Team

Cellers: Everything's a-okay. We're just prepping ourselves for our first match in a few days. Aren't we, team?

*the team nods and mumbles*

Q: I just have a few questions for you all, so, would you mind?

Cellers: Nope.

*he and the team gather in front of me*

Q: Well, your performance in last year's Cup was, shall we say, embarrassing, and I hear that you are expecting to do much better with your new forward. But I am reading here that Vyshan is inexperienced. Do you think that will play a role in your game?

Vyshan: Everyone has weaknesses, and of all the ones I had to choose from, I think it would definitely be inexperience. I'd rather be inexperienced than slow and have poor reflexes, wouldn't you? Take, for example, Reb Weemelott from Brightvale. He plays right forward, same as I do. But one of his weaknesses is scoring. Not to be rude or derogatory or anything like that, but scoring? It's a forward's job to score! I would much rather be inexperienced than that kind of a weakness.

Q: Oh, yes, of course. Now, your first game is against Mystery Island. Comparing their scores from last year's Cup and yours, I would say you have quite a bit to worry about in this first round. How do you plan on rivaling the Mystery Island team?

Cellers: I personally have spoken with Volgoth and his team and I have learned that they are not as skilled as they would like us to believe. Volgoth is just a large, scary brute. He's not very skilled when it comes to passing, and you can always see him, no matter where you are. And as for his defensive, pfft. His goalie faints with a stubbed toe, after all! And Koric? He may be sly, but intelligence doesn't win matches. Strength does. And when it comes to strength, Koric is lacking.

Q: Now, Colb, you are the goalkeeper for this team, am I correct?

Colb: Right.

Q: Now, Mystery Island's offensive players are quite skilled. Nix, Volgoth, Shurtz? Are you sure you can handle facing such strong contenders?

Colb: You are forgetting that we have a stronger defensive side than Mystery Island. They have only one defender while we have two. Their forwards are good, but my defenders are better.

Q: How do you all, as a team, feel about the new rules of the Cup?

Cellers: I definitely think these rules will take some getting used to, but I feel that they will help us tremendously. If we were to face Mystery Island first under last summer's regulations and standards, I don't think our future would be as bright as it is this year. But this way we get a chance to face every team and regroup to lick our wounds if need be. If we were to face, say, Shenkuu, right after we face Darigan or Krawk Island, it will give us ample opportunity to make up for whatever losses we may suffer.

Kitah: Which will, of course, be practically nonexistent.

Q: I see. Now, may I have a word with your forwards? Timm. How does it feel to be the only player on the team that is not originally from Kiko Lake?

Timm: I think of myself as a native of Kiko Lake. I may not have been born there, but I have lived there all of my life. I am originally from Kiko Lake.

Q: But you... aren't...

Timm: A Kiko? Obviously. But why should that matter? I am as skilled as any Kiko. These are my friends and I don't care if I am different from them, and nor do they care.

Q: Sheesh, sorry, sorry. Okee dokee, Kitah. I see that you are known to get frustrated very easily. Can you explain this to me?

Kitah: I hate it when people set standards for you that they know you cannot live up to and will never be able to meet. Standards they themselves could not fulfil. I only get frustrated when I see something that says "Kitah did not perform as expected" or something like that. What WERE you expecting? I'm no Vickles, after all. What's even more annoying is when I don't even know the expectations I didn't meet! Don't you agree?

Q: Of course I do, believe me. I think it's utterly ridiculous as well. Now, I notice that this year some of the teams are different. Any comment on that?

Timm: The new team from Shenkuu has replaced last year's team from Kreludor, and I think that Kreludor should have remained in the Cup. Some of Kreludor's players were friends of mine, and I would have enjoyed facing them, but I do not know anyone from Shenkuu since it is such a new land. I am looking forward to meeting and facing these new contenders as well as seeing what has changed about the other teams since last summer.

Q: Now, let's talk tactics. Strategy. Plans. Do you guys have a strategy in mind for each individual team, or are you going to just wing it?

Cellers: I am not the kind of captain that lets my team "just wing it". I am a responsible captain, and let me assure you that I have put together strategies and discussed them with my players. We are ready to face Mystery Island, but we are waiting to finalize our plans about the other teams so that we can see how their styles and techniques have changed.

Q: I don't suppose you'll share some of those plans with me?

Cellers: No.

Q: Now, before I go, does anyone have anything they would like to say to the public and to the other teams?

Kitah: I do. We will come out on top this year. Last year was our rehearsal. This year is our opening night, Be ready for us, or else you won't know what hit you... Mystery Island will be set ablaze before we're through with them. Our contenders will kneel before us, begging for mercy! Be ready!

*he punches the air*

Q: Much enthusiasm from a young defender for the Kiko Lake Altador Cup team. Well, I know you have to get back to your practice game, so I'll get going now. Thank you, and good luck in the Cup!

*the team stands up and waves me off*

Cellers: Thank you, and good bye!