The inside scoop on Jelly W-argh! *choke* Circulation: 145,941,808 Issue: 306 | 24th day of Hiding, Y9
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Neohome Designers or Meepits, Which is Worse?


by hamsterzfinch

--------

Definitely, Neohome designers. Have you noticed? The recent style is to use icy desks as ponds and dining tables as flooring. You would have to play a constant game of leapfrog to get from your bedroom to your bathroom, and to stay standing while washing your hands! You would not want to go fishing on an icy desk, either. Using a dining table as a floor is a big mistake. You will be eating dirt the first day you get your new table! You may notice that people are burning their lamps and using them to make a flicker in their fire pit. Or, you may have seen the moon paving stones for eyes. Maybe the furry table on the top of an extremely large Christmas tree.

Neogardeners, please do not use bridges for docks! In the last windstorm, my ship got unhooked from the small nail that you supply for us to tie our boats! Also, please put “No Life Guards On Duty” signs up for those diving into an indoor glass pool made from flooring! I would also suggest not using Snorkle Bean Bags as fountains, because the lamp you put under it is electric and not waterproof!

WARNING: Ceiling Fans should not be used for coffee tables! Nothing like your favorite cup of mocha being flung across the room when someone accidentally flips the “on” switch! Disco Decorated Trees ARE NOT palm trees! (They are as much as I am your friendly home inspector!) Pant Devil Piñatas should not be used as cushions, as the candy will get smashed! Red buckets are not stove panels, as they are made for getting water, not boiling it! Rubber Mozito Bones are not books, so please do not try to read them! Windows are not French doors, and dung petpet paintings are not even regular doors. Tyrannian Styled Windows are not doors to bathroom stalls, either. Stone chairs are not paving stones, and what’s with putting toilets in the middle of your dining room? Now I suddenly lost my appetite. Snowflake stain glass windows are not rugs. The glass would break if walked on! A stone bed with 2 straw beds piled on top of it and a pirate flag for the pillow would be very strange. How many times have you slept on 3 beds? And isn’t that a bit of a waste, too? Although, I am sure it is quite softer than sleeping directly on stone. I would suggest not putting a Quiggle Tree Sculpture at the end of your slide, of course unless you’re in the mood for breaking it. Sorry, but, unless you are roasting Silly pumpkins, they do not go in fireplaces.

Coconut lamps and hanging houseplants made to look like a coconut tree. Twig beds piled on top of each other to look like a tree house, with Nimmo Lilly pads made to look like tree leaves. Zen Drawers made to look like borders around the carpet. Be serious about these designs! Your Neopets will hate it if you don't! A stone wardrobe and shelves made to look like a fireplace. Crazy, eh? Why not just use a real fireplace? Snow Angel Rugs made to look like a white floor. A Roaring Log Fire made to look like a pottery showcase. Stone Shelves made to look like a countertop. Indoor Geraptiku Fly Traps made to look like a fry dish in a pan. A Slorg Wardrobe made to look like a chef with a hat, and the hat is a Snowball Bean Bag. A bunch of Tree Stump Tables made to look like a pathway. A Decorated Prison Cell bench at the end of every doorway made to look like paths. Millions of Broken Windows made to look like tiling. What is with all of this madness!?!?!

The meepits. Ah-ha! The meepits have got to have taken over the minds of Neohome designers… that or they’re born crazy. At least they’re creative!

On the other hand, though, these designers have to be pretty creative to even think up these designs. I would have never dreamed of decorating my home the way they do. Even though these designs are pretty unconventional, the designs that result are more than could be accomplished with basic furniture, as appliances and some modern furniture pieces are quite limited. And when on a limited budget, it’s much cheaper just to create your own furniture (even if it doesn’t work) than to buy it, if it’s only looks you’re looking for. But if you are designing your home so that your pets have a place to live, don’t attempt these extravagant, over-filled rooms that are impossible to live in. It just won’t work at all.

I did a random survey of a few premium people that were on the Charter Member boards, and checked out what their Neohomes were like. The results of my survey were as follows:

No Neohome Available: 19.44%

Regularly Decorated: 30.56%

Unconventionally Decorated: 2.78%

Non-Decorated: 22.22%

No rooms: 8.33%

Containing items, but not decorated: 2.78%

Combination of Regular and Unconventional Decorating: 8.33%

Decorated normally (meaning items are used as what they are meant for) but looks odd and useless: 5.56%

So even though every Neohome spotlight seems to go to someone with a whacky home, it’s not even common among Charter Premium members, where I would imagine it would be the most popular. But it’s also rare to find a considerably decorated home among them too, although most are regularly decorated. Could it be that these insane designers have been winning just because they are the ones with any creativity? Or at least creativity that they enjoy displaying in their Neohome? Probably not, since I enjoy Neohome designing (the regular way). It is more likely that it’s harder to create a beautiful, interesting, creative Neohome when you do what everyone else is doing.

Here I will quote someone I met when debating the new Neopets layout on the Neoboards – “At the end of the day, it’s all about our Neopets.” And really, that’s the truth. We can go win a virtual trophy somewhere else, but we can’t find our Neopets somewhere else. So why torture them with a malfunctioning home? But, on the other hand, why torture them with a boring home?

I hope that this article has helped you with your Neohome designing. Hopefully, you can create the Neohome that shows the world that yes, our Neopets actually like being able to live in their home, not just stare at it. Or at least come up with another creative idea that is a little more useful. Or at least remember that NOT EVERYONE likes seeing an overfilled room of objects used for unusual purposes.

Good luck with your Neohome, and with pleasing your pets!

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Bizorkly Bizonk - Neocola
"Do I really have to say this line?"

by firejayoftheelements

---------

A Brief Guide to the Royalty of Neopia
So, you may know a lot about Neopia, but do you know their Kings and Queens?

by _usuki_collector_315

---------

Speck the Speckled
It's not what you think!

by cheetah_kougra

---------

Eddie Quiggle and the Case of the Missing Petpet: Part Four
It almost made me squirm at the thought of that monster devouring an innocent petpet. However, one thing was for sure...

Also by melbman

by anela19




Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.