The Five Great Neopian Mysteries

Today we will explore the five greatest wonders of Neopia. No, I don't mean the dark caverns of the fungus cave, nor the deep crater of Kreludor, nor will we reveal the secrets to Bonju's cooking pot. We are going to explore even more mind boggling questions, questions that rip away at our existence, that cause turmoil and distress, such as, just what is that Draik who flew overhead planning to do when he gets to Mystery Island?

Number 1: Edna. That spooky witch who is always brewing up some evil concoction in the depths of the Haunted Woods. She uses poor, unknowing Neopets as her servants to fetch her much needed ingredients and pays them a very lowly return. At the struck of midnight Edna comes out and will accept anyone who challengers her to a battle. However, if you try to assist Edna with a quest at noon, you will not receive a response; no one will be home.

The Mystery is: Just where does Edna go at noon??? One would think that being that noon isn't the witching hour but more so the lunching hour that Edna would be out to lunch, similar to the Scratchcard Kiosk Wocky... however, if this is true and she takes a full hour lunch, then when exactly does Edna sleep? Or does Edna sleep at all?? One will never know!

Number 2: Turmaculus. This huge hulking creature strikes fear into the hearts of petpets around the world. He's large and his appetite is insatiable and yet refined to a certain taste. He sleeps his days away, his only exercise being his lightning fast jaws that close on a poor unsuspecting petpet, and an occasional roar at a desperate owner who just has to try and tempt him with their petpet more than once. With its enormous appetite and lack of any strenuous movements it is no wonder he has grown to such a massive size, but we can't help but wonder how many petpets a day he actually eats. Some estimate a lot, as he has to stay large; others estimate only a few as he rarely moves. However, there is one thing for certain; we know why Meridell's large farming community is so prosperous... they have a LOT of free fertilizer!

Number 3: King Hagan. With his endless quotes of wisdom and commanding demeanor, it is hard for an average neopet to question a king's true greatness. But for a king who has published numerous books about himself and even released a stained glass window in his own likeness, one begins to wonder what truly lies behind his image of wisdom. Like how exactly does he already know that it’s a sad day when you can no longer trust a friend is like the greed of sketch Puppyblew?

Yet at the same time he is impressed, but the last thing anyone needs is war like the tenacity of a school of fiery weewoo. I thought everyone knew that? And who exactly was it who commissioned the building of the path between Brightvale and Meridell? King Hagan or King Skarl? Because whoever did it made the path so long and twisted, back tracking and going round about ways; it is hardly worth it to travel on it!

Number 4: The really hidden locations of Neopia. Neopia is an ever evolving world. Whether through war, natural disaster, or new development, the landscape of Neopia is changing with the times. However, in the history of Neopia many were eluded by the hidden locations that are spoken of only by the elite, which the average Neopets cannot locate. For an explorer of new lands, there are many un-chartered areas and legends of other worlds to try and discover.

Some of these mysterious locations include.

Mount Usalin: spoken of as a secluded mountain, where Ursula Usul spends her days and nights endlessly training for the Gormball tournament. Perhaps it is hidden in the Southern frozen wastelands where Lady Frostbite hides.

The Light Faerie's magical tower: with all the towers in Faerieland it has been impossible for explorers to identify which is the light faerie's tower. Despite this, the world renowned Poogle racers discovered the secret and abseiled down the side of it. WOW!

Lightning Swamp: This mysterious location has been spoken of on occasion by the Esophagor, after weary travelers have fulfilled his yearning for spooky food. Presumably in the Haunted Woods, this mysterious swamp has been the location of many Neopets deaths, but no explorers have been able to chart its location. Perhaps because none of them make it back alive.

Number 5: The Neopian Price Change Graph. Savvy Neopians are often seen buying stocks and shopping for the hottest items in the Neopian shops. However, even the biggest number crunching Kacheeks cannot find a conclusion on the price change graph.

This graph features the price of items as they are sold in the Neopian shops. When looking for a good deal one would want to purchase it while its sale price is low, or wait a few days if it is above normal. Apparently the Neopian shop keepers union works to keep the prices of items in their stores low by checking the price of their items against the shop wizard averages, and adjusting them accordingly. However, the brainiacs of our generation have watched this graph and still cannot find out its real purpose. The prices on these charts are quote far from the actual shop wizard value of the items, being either extremely high or extremely low. And what shop keeper would inflate a book from 500 neopoints one day to 3500 neopoints the net. That’s just market thievery! And what exactly is a space basher anyway? Did this item vanish with Dr. Sloth's stripped sock in the dryer? And why are the shop keepers not aware that this item ran out of stock back when it was the trend to paint yourself unicorn?

Perhaps someday Neopians will face the challenge and come together to solve these great mysteries. The greatest thinkers, the most daring explorers, the craftiest witches, the strongest fighter, the mathematical whizzes, and the richest Neopets to work together for the greater good. If one less Neopet lies awake at night in a fit of restlessness wondering about these mysteries, isn't the world a better place?