Article Spies - Illusen

Also by water_park1993

Scene: Meridell. Five o'clock in the morning. It's Illusen Day, and two reporters (Christos and Birdy) are traveling towards the earth faerie's Glade, in hopes of catching a glimpse of the famous faerie on her special day.

...

Okay, so they're really planning on spying on her for the entire day, hence why they're up at such an unearthly hour.

But enough commentary, they've arrived.

Christos: Are you sure this is a good idea, Birdy?

Birdy: Of course I am. I've been to Illusen's Glade dozens of times, and only about eight of them involved me getting chased off by an angry earth faerie wielding a sword and lobbing Honey Potions at my head. So there's nothing to worry about! *cheerful smile*

Christos: How very reassuring... Can't we just write using our imagination? Do we have to spy?

Birdy: Of course we have to spy! It's our chance to give our dear readers a small scoop of what Illusen does, on her special day! Green and brown things will fulfill our plain pages and --

Christos: All right, I get it...

The reporters continue on their journey, until they finally reach the Glade. Upon reaching aforementioned Glade, Birdy heads right for the trees next to Illusen's house; the trees that happen to be growing beside some windows.

Birdy: Ooh, this tree looks like a good one to climb!

Christos: Wait a minute, Birdy. I see-

Birdy ignores Christos and starts climbing the tree, which is full of small, brittle branches. After Birdy makes it about half-way up, a branch finally splinters, sending the girl to the ground.

Birdy: Ouch! *rubs head and gets to her feet* That was mean! *kicks tree* Wasn't that mean of the tree, Christos?

Christos: Err... of course it was. Anyway, look what I found on the door. *holds up a note*

Birdy takes the note and reads it, then gasps.

Christos: Awful, isn't it? I wonder why--

Birdy: You bet it is! Just look at the condition of the paper! *tsks* What, did she let a Whinny eat it before she wrote on it?

Christos: ...I take it you didn't notice the part about Illusen closing the Glade for the day, then?

Birdy: SHE WHAT?!

Christos: As you've heard. Maybe she doesn't want to celebrate her special day? But that doesn't make any sense...

Birdy: *gasps* Oh, fruitcakes! Christos, take cover!

Birdy pushes Christos inside some bushes and dives after him, just as Illusen exits her Glade, holding a lunch time box.

Christos (after climbing out of the bushes): Now that was... awkward.

Birdy: Ouch, now I've got branches everywhere... Wait, where's Illusen going? We need to follow her. ...Does she have her Illusen Staff with her? *suddenly a little worried*

Christos: She doesn't seem to. She was only holding that lunch box which has 'Tea' written on it and shows two Chias having tea.

Birdy: Great then! Let's continue spying! We need to follow her wherever she is going. Let's become her shadow.

Christos: But she started flying now. And as you know, being humans, we have no wings. At least we know that she is heading towards Faerieland.

The two spies glance up towards Illusen, who is headed towards a big, pink-and-white cloud.

Birdy: What Birdy am I, if I don't have any Pteri friends?! *shot* We can ask my friends to take us to Faerieland!

After a loooong trip onto two Pteris' backs, our friends arrive to Faerieland. They were traveling behind Illusen. It appears the earth faerie is now entering...

Christos: Jhudora's Cloud?! But that's-- that's impossible! What is she doing with Jhudora - her worst enemy! - on her special day?

Birdy: *scribbling madly in a notebook* We have now noted our first clue on what Illusen does. Isn't that fascinating?

Christos: Let's move closer, so we can see. But take care; Jhudora's petpet might see us! That hideous purple brat! *shakes fist*

Birdy: *gasps* Don't hate the petpet because it's purple! *gets all teary-eyed*

Birdy quickly forgets her displeasure, and the two reporter-spies dash towards Jhudora's house.

Birdy: See that window? It's the perfect spot. *peaks in* There's Jhudora. It looks like she is preparing... tea?! Is that TEA?

Christos: ...And Illusen is taking some chocolate cookies out of her lunch box...

Our friends are now left to stare. Are their eyes doing tricks? Do they need to eat something? Is Sloth taking over?! Just keep reading!

Birdy: ...I still can't believe it. Jhudora and Illusen... having tea... talking in a calm and civilized manner...

Christos: About the weather, no less!

Birdy: *shakes head* This is just too weird. ...Let's get closer. *grins*

And so Birdy's warped sense of judgment kicked in again, and she somehow managed to convince Christos that sneaking inside Jhudora's mansion was a good idea. The reporters snuck through the house until they came into Jhudora's parlour-type-place, and they hid under a tablecloth-covered table when neither faerie was looking. But nothing could have prepared them for what they would soon see...

Christos (whispering): Why did I let you talk me into this?

Birdy (whispering): Because we want an article in the Illusen Day issue of the Neopian Times, remember?

Christos (whispering): Oh, right. Hey, I think I heard someone knock!

The two reporters fall silent as Jhudora stands and walks towards the door, and greets the mysterious stranger.

Birdy: *staring with mouth and eyes agape* Is that...?

Christos (also wide-eyed): *nods solemnly* The Happiness Faerie.

Birdy: ...I'm never going to be able to rid my brain of this image... *groans softly and starts to lean head back against the table leg*

Christos: Birdy, don't-!

But alas, Christos' warning came too late, and the damage was done.

Namely, Birdy ended up knocking over the table and breaking the vases on it, thus revealing the hiding place and shocking the faeries before them.

Birdy: Um... Hi? *laughs nervously*

Christos: *stands hastily to his feet* We were just leaving. Really. *grabs Birdy and helps her up* Bye!

The two spies hurry towards the door. But before they get very far, Jhudora's hands start to glow, and soon are engulfed in purple flames.

Christos: Oh, great. Now what? Birdy? Any ideas?

Birdy: *staring transfixed at Jhudora's hands* Purdy shiny purple flames... O.O

Christos: ... *headpalm*

Birdy: Where did you learn to do those? *tries to touch*

Jhudora: Get out of my house!

And with such words, Jhudora swings her arm, the purple flames swirl around our friends. A pop sound is heard and they disappear.

Christos: Nice move there... And this branch is itching really hard!

Birdy: I still can't believe it... We got some great scoops today from Illusen, we got kicked out of Jhudora's house (and Faerieland), we landed in Meridell and onto Illusen's hidden key for her Glade!

Christos: So... you suggest we go in?

Birdy: *is already in* Hmm? What did you say?

Christos: Be careful! We don't know if she has any traps made from leaves, branches or anything else. Those Earth Faeries are deviously intelligent!

Birdy: Hey, why does that wardrobe there have "DO NOT ENTER" and "CAUTION" signs on them?

Christos: I think Illusen is trying to warn us not to open it. Maybe she is making poisonous potions that will turn you into future Sloth?

Birdy: Ooh, nonsense! I will open it, so the whole of Neopia can learn what hides behind Illusen's. Take notes.

Christos: I am already writing down whatever we say in this half-ripped, burnt and wet notebook!

Birdy moves towards the wardrobe. She rips the signs off and slowly opens the wooden wardrobe.

Birdy: ...

Christos: Now that's the cherry on top of the cake... An Evil themed gallery?! Jhudora dolls, poisonous jellies (which don't exist) and snowballs, purple cookies, evil petpets... Now I have seen them all!

Birdy: Not only that! Wicked plushies, Sloth posters, Balthazar caption traps, Vira's mirrors and the list goes on...

Christos: Do you think we are done? We have just found out that Illusen passes her special day drinking tea with Jhudora and the Happiness Faerie and that she has an evil themed gallery. I suggest we stop here *coughs*BeforeWeGetCaught*coughs*, and let the rest of Neopia know what treasure we carry with us!

Birdy: I agree. Our service for the community ends here, for this week.

And this is where our friends' first fantastic adventure ends. Check back for their latest one, in some weeks!