Letting Go

     "Two thousand twenty-five."

     "Divided by three?"

     "Six hundred seventy-five."

     "Cubed?"

     Kakoni only sighed. "Three hundred seven million, five hundred forty-six, eight hundred seventy-five," the Faerie Bruce said, pronouncing the number slowly, carefully.

     Babolino turned around, a triumphant look on his face, arms held up high as if he had won a marathon. "What did I tell you, Ciona?" the Faerie Kacheek gloated.

     The Faerie Kyrii said nothing. With a slight scowl, she took out her moneybag and handed her teammate the Neopoints. Babolino smugly smiled. "I'll bet you another hundred that Kakoni can find the square root of three thousand in less than ten seconds."

     "Forget it," Ciona grumbled.

     It was a bright day in Faerieland, as usual. The floating city's official Yooyuball team were taking a well-deserved break from their rigorous training. They settled in the cool shade of the Faerie Queen's garden, equipment set aside, chilled fizz drinks in their hands. Kakoni absentmindedly took a sip from his glass and felt the drink bubbling in his mouth. "It's almost time for the Altador Cup again," he said rather dismissively.

     "As if we could forget," Valtonous, known as Valt to his friends, said. The Faerie Uni was on his back, staring at the clouds in the sky. His tail lazily flicked as he added, "Should be a good one. Fun like last year's." His voice held a trace of sarcasm.

     Kakoni did not reply. He didn't need to. He just lay against the cool bark of the giant tree, staring at his fizzing drink.

     "We played our best," Delma said. The Faerie Zafara brushed aside a stray lock of hair. "There's nothing to complain about."

     "You know what I was talking about," Valt answered in a low voice. He stopped, rolled onto his side, eyes half-open as if he was about to fall asleep. "It was a tragedy, really," he mumbled to himself. "Like in those books you read that're full of irony."

     "Stick a sock in it, Valt," Ciona snapped.

     Valt snorted but said nothing more. Babolino looked at his suddenly glum teammates and asked quietly, "Three hundred times two, divided by the square root of four... what is it, Kakoni?"

     Kakoni blinked, as if out of a trance, and said pointedly, "I don't know." He finished the rest of his drink and stood up. "All right everyone, let's do another hour of practice before heading home."

     ~*~

     "Oi, Kakoni, I want to talk to you for a sec."

     Kakoni glanced behind and saw Ciona. He gave a hesitant smile. "I'm sort of in a rush," he said. "There's a party being hosted for the team captains, and their team members too, if they want to come. It's due to start in about ten minutes or so, but if you want to come along you should get ready quickly..."

     "I don't want to go to the party. I want to talk. It's important," said Ciona bluntly. She shot a look at the bench.

     Kakoni didn't bother to sit down. He stared up at Ciona and, for the first time, realized how short he was compared to his teammates. "Yes? Do you have a question?"

     Ciona didn't say anything as she sat down. She looked him in the eye, and said in a bland tone, "Babolino thinks you should take a break. That you should sit out of this year's Cup."

     Kakoni's answer was immediate. "I can't."

     "You've been detached lately. You can't concentrate when we're having practices."

     "I can't step down. Fyora will think that I quit and she'll appoint someone else in my position."

     "She won't, if you call in sick. Say that you have a broken leg, you overworked a muscle or something."

     Kakoni stared at a mirror as he adjusted a bow tie. He said, "Why do you want me out of this year's Cup so much?"

     "I don't," Ciona said. "But you shouldn't go, all the same. Kakoni, Valt blocked almost all your shots. That never happened before. You'll only..." She seemed to struggle before continuing on. "You'll only hurt the team in the long run if you go into the Cup like this. Everyone can tell that you haven't moved on."

     Kakoni sighed. "Moved on about what?" he asked.

     "You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb with me."

     "Ciona. I'm fine. I really am--"

     "Babolino doesn't think so. Valt doesn't think so. Delma doesn't think so. I don't think so."

     Kakoni slipped on his tuxedo. "I'm late," was his reply. "Does anyone else want to come?"

     Ciona stared at him before stepping aside. "No. Nobody," she said tartly. "Well then, I'll see you tomorrow, Worrill. Enjoy yourself at that party."

     ~*~

     "You still owe me 90 Neopoints."

     Delma raised a fine eyebrow at Babolino. He gave a sweet smile in return. "Remember that little Petpet incident?" she asked.

     Babolino didn't bat an eye. "It got into the locker rooms by itself," he said, tapping his spoon against his bowl of ice cream, the smile still on his face.

     "Ri-ight. So the Wuzzle magically crawled through security, made its way through the locked doors, and somehow opened Tandrak Shaye's locker to get into his Yooyuball gear?"

     "Exactly how it happened," replied Babolino cheerfully.

     Twilight had fallen on the city of the Faeries, and the two teammates were resting comfortably in the cafe. Delma sighed, stretching her long legs. Her muscles were entirely sore from today's practice. Hopefully, the amount of hours they had crammed in the past months were enough to get them to a respectable position in the upcoming Cup.

     "Oh, and here's our latecomer friend," Babolino said, turning around to face the Kyrii stomping toward them. "Hello, Mrs. Sunshine!"

     "Shut up, you," Ciona growled at him. She dragged over a chair and slammed herself down on it, arms crossed. "Delma, you should knock Kakoni's head in. I swear, all his moping around is driving me nuts!"

     Delma sipped her coffee. "The crash affected him deeply, you know, and he's not the type to let go easily," she said. "He just needs alone time."

     "Alone time? Alone time? Delma, we're going to be playing in Altador in less than a week! We've given him alone time for almost an entire year. I think that's more than enough 'alone time!'" Ciona glared at the uneasily blue Lupe waiter beside the table and said sharply, "No, I don't need anything."

     "I have no clue what you two are talking about," Babolino said, a puzzled look on his face.

     "You obviously don't read the newspapers, then," answered Delma, rolling her eyes.

     Babolino scrunched up his face, trying to remember. His face lit up. "You're talking about the crash that happened last year?" He frowned. "I don't see how that relates to Kakoni, though."

     Ciona gave a humorless laugh. "You don't? Haven't you met his father?"

     "Kakoni has a father?"

     "Of course he does, Slorg-head." Ciona's shoulders slumped. The spunky Kyrii suddenly looked very, very tired. "They weren't on very good terms and all, since Kakoni turned down a scholarship to this famous school to join the team. Kakoni wrote to him, but his father never wrote back."

     Babolino flushed. "Oh, then I think I know him. But I still don't..." His voice drifted off when realization hit him. He nervously coughed. "Is Kakoni's father--"

     "You should talk to him," Ciona interrupted, eyes on Delma. "You know him the best, anyway."

     Delma half-shrugged and pushed her empty cup of coffee aside. "Why don't you?"

     "I did. Didn't work out so well. Babolino would probably make things worse--"

     "Hey!"

     "-- and Valt is the king of pessimists. Besides, you're the one who's known him the longest."

     "That doesn't mean I can get him over his brooding," Delma said dryly. "And I think it's a little late for us to go running after him. He's probably in Roo Island right now, attending that fancy party."

     "Well, talk to him tomorrow then."

     "I'll be too busy." Delma raised her hand. "Check, please."

     "Delma!"

     The Zafara took a deep breath and leaned forward. "Kakoni's problems are his problems, Ciona. We can't help him with it. You know how he is. The best thing to do is to leave him alone and let him work it out on his own. That's how he does things."

     Ciona refused to give up. "What about his father, then? He should be well by now, the crash happened almost a year ago. He should be able to go out in a wheelchair at least. We could get Kakoni to talk to his father, let them apologize to each other..."

     Babolino eyed the two anxiously. "I don't know if that's a good idea," the Kacheek said tentatively. "From what you told me, they weren't the best of buddies."

     "It's still worth a try. We can't go into the Cup with our captain acting up like this." Ciona readily met Delma's gaze. "Well, are you gonna do it or what?"

     Delma slowly counted out the Neopoints and laid them out on the table. "I'll try," she said. "But you shouldn't expect anything."

     "My fingers are crossed," Babolino said.

     ~*~

     "Pardon me, Mr. Worrill?"

     "I won't be attending the party, your Majesty, I'm sorry."

     The face of King Roo frowned from the shimmering basin. "Are you sure? I mean, we were looking forward to seeing you there and all. There was going to be a Dice-a-Roo contest and free food and--"

     "I would like to go, but there is a sudden... personal matter that I have to attend to."

     "I see. Well, there's always next year, right?"

     "Yes, your Majesty."

     "Thanks for letting me know, Mr. Worrill. Oh, and good luck in the Cup this year."

     "We'll try our best."

     King Roo's face disappeared from the surface of the water. Kakoni slumped into his chair. The Weewoo clock happily ticked away. 7:15. Too early to go to bed, too late to venture out.

     Kakoni stared at the magic basin. Maybe he could call one of his friends. Ask them if they wanted to join him for dinner or something. He fiddled with his goggles. A dinner would be nice. He was feeling a little down today, a meal with his friends would cheer him up immensely. And maybe he could make up for the little fight he had with Ciona. He should get up, call them, invite them over.

     Kakoni sat there.

     The Bruce's eyes wandered around the room. Past trophies, small medals from previous matches, some diplomas here and there... he was his family's pride and joy, their little athletic brainchild. Kakoni got up to get a book.

     His bookshelves were brimming with all sorts of books. Kakoni took care of each and every one of them to make sure that they were in perfect condition. He had always been taught that books were a sort of doorway to knowledge, and that it was to be respected for that.

     Kakoni took down The Eye of the Quiggle after a brief minute's thought. When he began to read, though, he found that the words only swam confusingly in his head, a jumble of useless letters and ink. He squinted, tried to concentrate, to make sense of the gibberish, but only one sentence stood out to him: I knew I had made a mistake.

     Kakoni stood up, shut the book, and threw it out the window.

     ~*~

     "Ms. Harrence?" the receptionist asked. Delma forced a smile.

     "Yes, ma'am. I would like to see Rick Worrill."

     The Water Faerie nodded. She pointed a finely manicured finger down the hall. "Head that way, then take a left. It's the last door on the left side."

     "Thank you."

     The Faerieland Healing Springs Hospital was so clean that Delma felt that she was walking through a soap commercial, the kind that showed on Neovision. She was painfully aware of the eyes staring at her, gazing at her with a mixture of admiration and scorn. When she arrived at her destination, she found a slender red Lutari standing in front of the door, paws timidly held in front of her.

     "Hello," the Lutari said softly, her voice tinged with a Shenkuunian accent. "Who are you?"

     Delma didn't know what to say. She shifted from one foot to another, racking her brains, and said, "Uh, are you Mrs. Worrill?"

     The Lutari nodded. "Some call me Mei. You may call me that as well if you wish." She twittered to herself before adding, "You are my son's friend... are you?"

     "Yes, I am. Delma Harrence." She held out a hand. Mei cautiously shook it. "Erm, I'm here to see Mr. Worrill about Kakoni."

     Mei's brown eyes slightly drooped. "Is he in trouble as well?"

     "Oh no, no, no. Kakoni's perfectly fine, ma'am, I just want to see if Mr. Worrill is well enough and everything. Kakoni misses him greatly."

     Mei stared through Delma. "He cannot see anyone."

     "Excuse--?"

     "He is not in good health. Doctors... doctors say that no one can see him. Not even me, his wife." Mei's eyes rapidly blinked. "They will be operating on him tonight. Operation might work, operation might not work."

     Delma didn't know what to say. "I-I didn't know that. Is it really that serious?"

     "If they have operation, it is serious," Mei said flatly.

     So much for having Kakoni and his father meet. Delma looked down at her feet. "I hope he gets better, I really do. Erm... I can't stay though, Mrs. Worrill, I hope you understand. I have other things to do."

     "I understand."

     As Delma began to leave, Mei called out, "Wait. Did Kakoni send you here to the hospital?"

     "Yes," Delma lied.

     Mei walked up to Delma and held her hands in her shaking ones. "Tell my son that his father misses him as well," she said, her voice low. "And that he forgives him, and that he is proud."

     Delma gave a wavering smile. "I'll be sure to do that," she said.

     Mei nodded, and tottered back to her place.

     Delma trudged out of the hospital. The twilight sky was beginning to fade to a dark-blue by the time she left the brightly-lit building, her head swirling.

     ~*~

     The Altador Cup. The Altador Cup.

     Kakoni rolled on his back, staring at the ceiling above him. Ever since he was a little boy he had dreamed about winning the coveted trophy, about standing on the podium and holding it up to the entire world, about feeling the rush and adrenaline of victory flowing through his veins.

     But it never happened. Victory in the first Cup had eluded his beaten and worn team, and other fans from better-off teams mocked them, saying that they didn't belong on the playing field where the big players were. A joke stating that the day Faerieland won the Cup was the day that Neopia would end soon spread around.

     Some players on the team couldn't take it. Palia quietly resigned after the humiliating loss in the first Cup to be replaced by Elbin, who quickly left the team after a year. Kakoni had personally faced them, asked them to stay, saying that things would get better for the Faerieland team, but the brunt of the mockery from the other teams was too much for the two. Fortunately, Ciona, who had joined after Elbin left, seemed to have a thicker skin and was able to shrug off the insults more easily.

     Kakoni rolled over once more. He couldn't sleep. Valt's comment about the incident last year ran over and over in his head again. He closed his eyes, but saw the scene silently play in his mind. He couldn't sleep, not tonight. Kakoni got out of bed and donned a warm sweatshirt before leaving his house.

     The night air was crisp and clear, not unexpected for a city floating in the sky. Kakoni walked down the darkened streets without any particular destination in mind. His father used to tell him stories about how Faerieland was built. He would walk with his father down the very same streets, listening to his father's deep, baritone voice, seeing the faraway look in his eyes as he whispered the words to the story, feeling his strong, warm hand holding his.

     The night beckoned to Kakoni. He followed.

     "It was a tragedy, really, like in those books you read that're full of irony." The words snaked into Kakoni's head, wrapping around his mind, poisoning it. He stared at the bright moon overhead and shivered as a cold gust blew by. It wasn't anybody's fault. It was just a slight magical malfunction in the carriages, nobody could have predicted it. But Dad didn't have to get hurt. That was my fault.

     The walls surrounding Faerie City loomed overhead. Kakoni had reached the gates. The Bruce stared up at it, running a hand over its smooth stonework, feeling the warmth emanating from the magic that held it together. Then, with a heavy sigh, he sat down on a nearby bench.

     "Fancy meeting you here, Worrill."

     He jumped at the sound of the voice, and turned around so quickly that he almost tripped over his feet. Kakoni relaxed when he saw that it was just Delma. The Zafara smiled as she slightly inclined her head. "Mind if I join you?" she asked.

     "Go right ahead," he said. He scooted down to make way for her. She sat.

     "You couldn't sleep?" Delma asked.

     "Nothing new about that," answered Kakoni. He rubbed his hands together. "Aren't you cold?"

     "No." Delma leaned back, folding her arms across her chest. "I come out here often to look at the constellations. It was a hobby of mine when I was little. I still do it."

     "I just sleep," Kakoni said with a small laugh.

     Delma closed her eyes, her breath visible in the chilly night air. "I sometimes imagine myself flying out to space where the stars are, where I could dance with them. My mother told me that Novas lived up there in the sky, and I always dreamed of going to the palace where they lived." She opened her eyes. "Why are you out here, Kakoni?"

     Kakoni followed Delma's upward gaze toward the starry heavens and said simply, "No reason, really."

     "Are you still thinking about the accident? If you are..."

     "I'm not. You don't need to be worried about me."

     They sat there, side by side, watching the stars glimmer, feeling the minutes tick sluggishly by. Delma broke the silence. "Your father's all right, Kakoni. He should be up and walking by the end of the month. I went to the hospital. I saw him. The doctors said he's all right." She sighed when her captain didn't answer. "There are some things that can't be helped."

     "I shouldn't have fought with him. If I hadn't fought with him, he wouldn't have gone on that carriage."

     Delma shook her head. "You're too hard on yourself."

     "Of course I am." Kakoni turned to Delma. "We were fighting over nothing, Delma, and I lost my head. I chased him away, and he ended up in the hospital. If I hadn't been so stupid, if I had listened to him for once--"

     "Kakoni." Delma's voice was soft, quiet. "Let it go."

     The clock tower in the city chimed. It was midnight. A new day. Kakoni stared at Delma for the longest time before standing up. "I should be heading back now. We have a busy practice schedule."

     "Likewise," Delma said, but she didn't move. As Kakoni began to walk away, she called out, "Kakoni, the past is the past. You can't live in it forever."

     Kakoni turned around. "I wish I didn't," he said heavily, and disappeared among the shadowed streets of the city.

The End