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The Poogle Conspiracy


by fgsfgs1

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WARNING:

This article may contain content unsuitable for people who are incredibly high strung like me *scream*. This article contains content of world domination and other hideous things, like giant mutated blocks of cheese and MSP Poogles who like the taste of humans among other things. So if you would like to continue into this horrible world, please feel free to do so. If you do not, well, stop reading this page and scream. Well, that’s enough warning, let’s get on with the article.

The biggest threat to Neopia may not be Meepits, Dr. Sloth, Asparagus Chias, Lutaris, Meuka or Snoogies. The biggest threat to this little planet may be Poogles. Yes, you heard me right. Poogles. Those little cute furry pets that are just irresistible that I even have one and I’m writing about their plot for world domination. The reason why they are just so irresistible are those little cute eyes, that pudgy little face and of course, their limited edition status.

The reason why they are so darn irresistible is the same reason why they are suited for world domination. Owners will just desire one and try to create one. That helps Poogle domination a whole lot- owners actually want the Poogle armies to expand. Nobody wants the Meepit army or Sloth’s army to expand because they just aren’t desirable. Almost nobody likes having mutated freak pets and Meepits are just plain scary with those big staring eyes *shudder*. Now I will move on to how they dominate the world.

1. Utter cuteness. They are just completely desirable. Just go look at one, you will feel a strong need to have one. Those cute faces, those sparkling little eyes, those scary little sharp teeth... they just scream “adopt me!!” right in your face. They also make every color look amazing (just look at Island!) and have very expensive MPs and Magical Toys. Cuteness + Colors + Very Expensive = awesome pet!

2. Limited Edition Status. Just look at any of the LE pets. At least three of them will stand out to you. Being LE makes them rare and thus, desirable. TNT also has the habit of making the coolest pets LE (like the Lutari, and of course, the Poogle).

3. Their great fighting skills. When you first look at a Poogle, you don’t see a maniacal, crazy little thing trying to kill you with those scary, razor sharp teeth. Well, they are perfectly capable of creating that image. When fighting an enemy (like a Meepit who stole one of their many nuclear weapons) they are completely merciless and crazy. Also, behind that oh so cute smile, lies a nasty set of razor sharp teeth that can bite through steel. No wonder these pets are so good in the Battledome. Their last, but most effective, weapon is, of course, their sheer cuteness. Nobody, not even the most merciless of Battledomers, would want to hit a Poogle with a weapon. Not a single one. And while the Poogle is working its cuteness magic, the Poogle is thinking about a hundred ways to kill you with its bare hands. Talk about Battledome strategy.

4. Nuclear Weapons. The Great Poogle Lord (the ruler of all Poogles) has at least 50 million nuclear weapons at his hands, all waiting to be fired. Nobody knows where he hides that ridiculously high number of nuclear weapons; we just know he has them. Rumor has it that that is what the Kreludan mining robots are hiding in there- a giant pit in the ground, containing millions of weapons. If this were true (which it might just be), those robots are actually Poogle-X502 killer robots which look a little too much like those mining robots. But the inconsistency with this theory is that hundreds of Grundos work there and not one of them has snitched. The explanation to this puzzling ordeal may be that The Great Poogle Lord may have signed a life sentence on Dr. Sloth.

5. MSPPs! MSPPs stands for Malevolent Sentient Plushie Poogles. They are even crazier than regular Poogles and like eating humans. They are what every Poogle looks like inside, minus the extra craziness. All of the MSPPs are commanded under The Great Poogle Lord. They are merciless and will obey every one of their master’s commands. They masquerade as pets, but really don’t have any owners. They are all very powerful, no matter what their pet lookup says. Some of them choose to mask their awesome power in fear somebody will recognize them and throw them out, effectively destroying their carefully constructed disguise. However, if that ever happens, the owner and all of his or her pets will be eaten, so there is no risk for the MSPP.

6. A giant mutated block of cheese. Yep, you heard me right- a giant mutated piece of cheese. They have control over a giant, mutated block of cheese. This mutant was created by the lab ray by the scientist. The scientist accidently zapped his sandwich and the cheese came out.This giant cheese has millions and trillions of mouths. It also has over a million stomachs to digest all of the things it eats. It usually is very peaceful and just eats ozone, but something has been storing up the ozone, so the cheese must eat humans and Neopets instead. Rumor has it that the Snowager has been storing up huge amounts of ozone in his little cave and has just been keeping it there. But to explain how the ozone gets recycled with the cheese eating it, I must explain the ozone cycle. The cheese eats ozone, and then the cheese throws out methane as a waste product. The dung faerie (yes, she exists!) then uses the methane to make dung. She throws out ozone as a waste product. If anything major disturbs the balance, such as the Snowager, then that beautiful cycle is destroyed. That is why the cheese resorted to eating humans and pets and became a deadly weapon in the process.

 7. The Poogle Lords. There are many of them and they are all uber powerful. The three major ones are: The Great Poogle Lord, The Space Poogle Lord, and The Earth Poogle Lord. They are listed from most powerful to least powerful. They all have completely tricked out stats, so they really can’t be beaten.

8. Servants? The Poogle Lords captures innocent Neopians and humans and forces them to work. They greatly help the empire, but never get the credit. Humans who have a Poogle are spared from the grueling work that many other servants must do (thank god for Sei).

So, these little creatures are incredibly dangerous and are on the loose. Help the Poogle domination cause by buying Poogle MPs and Magical Poogle Toys!! *maniacal laughter and reveals I am a domination supporter*

 
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