A Declaration of Peace

A Declaration of Peace

From: The Meepits

Dear everyone in all of Neopia,

     Why do you all fear us? We have done nothing to harm you and probably never will, yet you all cower when you hear our names. Sure we drag you away when you mention our names or tell any known secret about us, but that’s so the Feepits don’t find our hideout and rid us of our pinkness. I tell you, dear Neopians, not all of us look good in blue, only the special ones. TNT is lying to you! We are kind petpets and take pride in our cuteness. In fact, some kind Neopians keep us for themselves and love and take care of us. Furthermore, the Neopedia article about us that has the blanked out parts, we can assure you that we did not do ourselves. We were framed! It’s the Feepits that are the evil ones! They think with their polka-dottedness and fluffy tail that they look so harmless and innocent, but they’re not! They have brainwashed you into thinking that we are the evil ones while they bask in all of the glory you have bestowed upon them. It’s despicable!

     We know what you’re thinking, but it’s not true! We are not staring at you with our beady little eyes. What? We can’t look at you? We can’t help it if our eyes are a little beady and we have no eyelids—it’s just not fair that we’re treated this way! Now, we don’t know a ton of expressions since we don’t have anything to say that we can’t write out, so our blank stares are just our way of showing that we don’t care enough to frown or get angry at you—it’s a win/win situation. We don’t have to use our facial muscles and you don’t have you smell our bad breath! And trust us, although the juice that you feed us tastes delicious, it leaves a horrible after taste. We’re going to have to get the Soup Faerie to fix that.

     Despite what most of you might think, Dr. Sloth does not control us. In fact, Dr. Sloth hates us. He hates the colors pink, blue, yellow, and every other color that we can be painted. He only likes black and green which his precious Grundos can become. Why have all of us Meepits as his minions when we could easily bite him when he could have his loyal Grundos as his servants and create as many robots as he wants? Besides, with the Space Faerie up there in the Virtupets Space Station, we’re not even allowed up there (moreover, we have no way of getting up there) without being robotic or mutant and we don’t even like being painted robot or mutant! We like to drink juice and smell pretty but when we’re robotic we have to drink oil and as mutants, we smell horrible!

     Please, we beg of you, creatures of Neopia, to let us into your hearts! We are not evil and maniacal creatures like you seem to believe, in fact, we even have a National Meepit Peace Day that we would love for everyone to celebrate with us (which just so happens to be the same day as Sloth Appreciation Day). So please consider joining us hand-and-hand (or paw-and-paw if you prefer) as we join together and create an empire known as Meeopia!

     Sincerely,

     The Meepits

     ---

     Krayton the Meepit King put his quill down and sighed as he leaned back in his throne. “Filthy Neopians,” he said under his breath. “Perhaps now you will accept us.” He sighed as another Meepit approached him and took the letter out of his paws and read over it.

     “Sire,” the Meepit said, “the Neopians will never fall for this silly letter. Our leader, Dr. Sloth, has tried many many times to overthrow them and every time that blasted Space Faerie has gotten in the way of our plans... her along with the Feepits.”

     “Silly, silly, Ukry,” Lord Krayton replied, standing up and walking down the underground palace of the Meepits, “our overlord has many ways to get the Neopians to oblige. Little do they know that he has kidnapped their precious TNT and is planning on holding them hostage until obedience is achieved. Our overlord is so powerful that not even Fyora can stop him!” They walked up to a painting that was dimly lit and they began to bow down to it while the Sloth staring back at them gave them the same toothy grin that he had been giving them for years. “All hail Sloth,” both of them cried. “All hail the almighty overlord!”

     Ukry was the first to stand up and say something. “But what do we do if they agree to the peace treaty, Sire? After 'getting the Neopians to agree to our master plan', we have nothing.”

     Krayton chuckled as he and Ukry continued walking down the corridor. “Fear not, young Ukry, our Overlord has a plan. He will gather every villain known to Neopia: Lord Darigan, Lord Kass, Vira, the Shadow Usul, Punchbag Sid, asparagus, etc., and will convince them to begin to overthrow each of the lands. Our job would be to attack the so-called 'heroes', tie them up, and hypnotize them with our irresistible, beady, eyes and convince them to give up and do our bidding for us. It’s fool proof!”

     “Outstanding!” Ukry cheered. “But, Sire, what about Jeran and the Battle Faerie?”

     Krayton stopped in his tracks. “Jeran? JERAN! How dare you mention that name in my presence! He defeated us not once—but twice! I will not let him defeat us a third time. Dr. Sloth will see to that!”

     Ukry sighed happily. “Thank goodness, Sire,” he said. “That pesky Lupe is almost as annoying as those Feepits, but... what about the Battle Faerie, Aethia? No one knows where she is and she only comes out when she is needed. How will we tie her up and hypnotize her if we don’t even know where she is?”

     Lord Krayton scratched his chin and pondered Ukry’s question for a moment. “Jhudora!” he cheered. “She’s Dr. Sloth's fourteenth cousin nineteen times removed; he is sure to convince her to use one of her magic trinkets to get her to find Aethia!”

     “Brilliant, Sire,” Ukry said as they approached a large door at the end of the hallway. The two Meepits put their paws against the locks and the door opened to reveal a room with only a table and Jhudora’s Crystal Ball placed precisely in the middle of it.

     Krayton and Ukry walked up to the table and placed their paws on the orb’s crystal and chanted a spell. The clouds inside began to swirl and change colors almost instantaneously and the face of Dr. Sloth appeared through the fog. “What?” Sloth yelled, putting down a spreadsheet that he had in his hands.

     “The deed has been done, your Majesty,” Krayton said. “The Declaration of Peace has been written and we will Neomail it to everyone first thing in the morning.”

     Dr. Sloth grinned evily. “Excellent,” he said. “Will they suspect anything?

     “Not a thing,” Lord Krayton said with a smirk. “The Neopians will suspect nothing.”

     “Perfect,” said the man in the orb, then the fog went black.

The End