How to Act Like a Good Pirate - Kinda

September 19th

Everythin' ye need t' know t' act ('n sound) like e'eryone's favorite bunch o' people.

Alright, crew, so ye want to join in with the festivities on this Holiday, eh? Well, let's start:

The Basics

'Ere be some simple steps to 'elp ye on yer way.

Yes = Aye

No = Nay (or Ne'er)

My = Me

You = Ye

Hello! = Ahoy!

Goodbye = Off ye go, now!

Also, ne'er pronounce the 'v'. And if a word ends in 'g', don't pronounce that either. Some examples:

Never = Ne'er

Over = O'er

Avatar = A'atar (said with a long 'a')

Virtupets = 'irtupets (said like 'Er-chu-pets)

Rowing = Rowin'

Sailing = Sailin'

Eating = Eatin'

Negg = Ne'

Scarabug = Scarabu' (said like Scara-buh)

Aye now, matey, yer gettin' the picture!

Body language

No, that doesn't mean tattoos! It's what yer body does when when yer talkin' or sailin' or runnin' away from the Neopian Navy with a sack full o' treasure!

When we pirates talk, we wildly flail our arms about and use them to describe, well, everythin'.

Next time yer talk to someone, yer parents, co-workers, teachers, friends, random people, while yer talkin' to 'em, try describe everythin' with yer hands.

And e'en better if you slightly slow down yer words while yer doing it. Get in and out of their faces like the tide, rollin' back and forth. Of course, there is a slight chance yer might get smacked on the noggin for it. But nowt that a pirate can't handle!

Also, there's the 'Walk'.

Pirates 'ave a certain way to walk too. We tip from side to side. Like we're on ship. Or we're playin' along with Barf Boat.

Talkin

When a pirate talks, people listen. If people ain't listening, how are they t' hear about yer tales!

Make sure ye have their full attention. Try standin' on a table, or if that's too high, a box. Or if yer got a mate t' help yer, even better. Get them t' give ye a grand introduction, or if ye're a Billy no-mates, get a tankard and slam it down on a table. Make sure ye don't slam it on someone's fingers. Health and safety!

When yer talkin', be LOUD! Pirates ain't quite mice! Use yer newly found arm-flailing' technique to make e'erythin' larger than life! Exaggerate a lot!

And if there's another scurvy dog tryin' to outdo yer, just talk 'em down! Make whate'er yer sayin' much more interestin' and wilder than theirs! Give it time and they'll be a quiverin' wreck! Huzzar!

Crew

Yer crew is is like yer family. But unlike a real family, ye can pick them! Here's a list of who's who on a pirate crew.

Captain - I bet ye think that a Captain became a Captain because they were feared, right? WRONG! A Captain is elected by the entire crew! They have to be courageous, smart and darin'! And if you start slackin' in your duties as a Captain, then the crew can vote yer out!

Not what ye thought, is it?

But, if yer a good Captain, share yer treasure, go on excitin' adventures, get yer crew free food and throw huge parties, then all shall be well, eh?

First Mate - The First Mate is like a substitute for a Captain. If should somethin' terrible (gulp) happens to yer Captain, then the First Mate takes over.

Quartermaster - This position is like yer second-in-command. The Quartermaster takes on the role of Captain if said Captain is not on deck. It's also up to QM to make sure the crew keep in line too! They also divided up the food and water too. So make sure ye keep in their good books! Next to the Captain, the QM got the second largest amount of treasure when shared! The best position in me opinion.

Boatswain or Bos'n - The Bos'n oversaw several of the crew and raised their morale. They also repaired stuff around the ship from sails to rope. A hard workin' job. Not for newbie landlubbers.

Gunner - Ah, bet ye can't guess what this job entails. The gunner had to be accurate when firing those cannons! So get someone who's really good at those there video games.

Surgeon - Ye need t' have a doctor on board! Sometimes we pirates use a carpenter to be our ships doctor. Why, ye ask? Well, they're handy if ye lose a leg. And ye need a new one! I once knew an ol' pirate with a wooden leg called Bill. And his other leg was called Jeff! Yarharhar! Pirate humour there! -ahem-

Activities

So ye got the look, yer got the talk. Now ye need somethin' t' do. Here be a list of things ye could do.

Hold a party!

(Ask permission if need be; pirate parents are terrifyin')

Aye! Nothing's better than a good ol' shindig! Make some invites, all decorated with skulls and such. Use yer imagination. Send them out and start ye planning. Get yerself (or make if ye be artsy) a banner. A huge one. Welcome, all ye who sail in here, or Welcome to me ship. Ye get the picture.

Decorate where it's bein' held. Those fake cobwebs left over from Halloween are good! And if yer really lookin' t' impress, get yerself a pirate themed piñata! I love those.

Food!

Food is very important in a pirate's life. Especially the sugary kind. So sweets, candy, crisps (or chips dependin' where ye hail from), drinks and cake must be available. Also, fruit; aye, I said that. Fruit. Hey! Now don't ye roll ye eyes. Fruit is important to keep ye healthy on the rough seas. And t' keep away nasty things.

Games!

Nothin' better than a good ol' game of Treasure Hunt! I think ye may've heard of this before, but if ye haven't, then here's a quick explanation:

1. Get ahold of a small treasure chest. Fill it with the wonderful goodies from the four corners of the world. Or sweets. Either's fine, matey.

2. Make several different clues leading to the chest. Each clue leading to another, then another till eventually ye get to the chest. If yer split yer mates into groups, make different clues fer each group, but still all leading to the chest.

3. Give ye clues t' the captain(which they decided together) of each group and let them set off on their adventure. (Make sure ye keep it in just ye Neohome and gardens. Don't let them set sail around a town or they might get lost.)

Ye can also make a scavenger hunt. A bit like the treasure hunt, except ye give each group Captain a list of things t' find in a certain area. First one t' brin' ye all the items wins! Huzzar!

Of course, if ya a lil old for running around like a mad seagull, there's always things like Best Costume competition, Best Arrg (I'm good at that one), Pirate King and Queen; I bet ye could make a makeshift skull crown and tiara! And my fave, dancin'. Put on yer favourite music or sounds o' the sea and just dance ye lil stripy pirate socks off!

Around Neopia

So yer sailin' around the wonderful and enchantin' Neopian seas. What can ye do here? Well, here's some things ye could get up to:

Get yerself a temporary crew. Chat on the boards and get yerself one. Decide who the Captain, Quartermaster, etc. will be. Then find another crew and 'Attack'. Now when I mean 'Attack', I don't mean ye say hurtful things. Stay within Neopets Rules! I mean use cannons! Now I bet yer lookin' sideways at this, ain't yer? Well, at Christmas time, people around Neopets play 'Snowball Fights' in which they send different snowballs via the 'Send Item to' option in the drop-drown menu. They don't actually throw the snowball, it's just the impression of throwin' one! Yer could just imagine the snowballs as cannonballs. It's all in fun and not to be used as anythin' nasty like, ok, mateys?

Best Pirate customised pet. Now of course yer can't give items as prizes because that's against the Neopet Rules, but ye can make a customised trophy to put on the winner's look-up. Yer could even have a runner-up and participant trophy as well!

Make a quiz! Ask questions like: What colour is the Krawk in the game Dubloon Disaster? and What does the sign say on the Dubloon-O-Matic? Ask people to send in their answers and the first on to get them all right, like the Best customised pet, gets a trophy!

Final note

Well, look at yer now. Walkin' and talkin' like a proper scallywag! Brings a tear to me eye. Good luck, mate, and farewell! And make sure ye have a bath in the mornin'!