A Cynic's Ten Cents

1. Faerie quests! Don’t tell me you miss being bossed around by those pesky faeries. “Did you bring my torn ‘Torn Fire Gym Socks’ yet?” “Where is my ‘Bag of Peanuts’?” Think about all those neopoints you would be saving plus all that free time you’ve had to yourself lately to participate in the Games Master Challenge. They sure come around at the most inconvenient times too! Right before you need to use the Shop Wizard to feed a Kadoatie, or while you’re searching for a medical cure for your Battledome pet. Plus how can they assume 600 seconds is enough to recuperate from their demanding requests? They’re out to get us, I swear; good riddance they are gone.

2. This brings me to my second point: Illusen and Jhudora. Team Jhudora, Team Illusen, *scoff* was anyone else sick of their dumb little rivalry? (I know I was; she kept stealing my tourists!). Has anyone ever wondered why they hated each other so much in the first place? It just boggles my mind. Who needs an avatar for that anyway? Plus you could only do one of their quests at a time. I can boss people around just fine too, and all you have to do is tell me a dumb joke for TWO avatars. Can’t get any better than that.

3. Sunlight! That’s right, without that huge annoying cloud looming overhead we no longer have to deal with Faerieland’s shadow blocking our sun. Mystery Island surely has to be grateful for that, plus not to mention the Meri Acres Farm could use some additional sunlight to keep up with growing all those potatoes and berries.

4. One less team to defeat in the Altador Cup, am I right or am I right? (Not that they were a huge contender, but I’m just saying). The Meridell team should definitely seize gold for the cup next year, I’m sure of it. Yeah, take that, Brightvale!

5. Anyone remember when owners WORKED to save up and paint their pets? (If you don’t, then ask your parents.) Plus everything was cheaper back then! None of this “free paint job” from the Fountain Faerie, which doesn’t even include all the colors. Back in my day we had to walk FIFTEEN miles...

6. Hidden Tower. Really now, hidden? That thing was easier to find than a Marrow in a haystack, and I should know. The stuff they sold in there wasn’t all that great either, no wonder they always had sales. I can sell dung for millions of neopoints if I want to, but I’m not going to make you pay through the nose for something no one wants. Just check out our Rubbish Dump.

7. Faerie Festival. Who are they kidding? Anyone could see through that self-centered celebration; no one actually enjoyed that. Well, the free stuff was nice, but that was about it. Free stuff is always nice. I don’t know about you, but I was glad the festival halted because all the faeries turned to stone. Just take a poll. I dare you to ask, “Which do you prefer: The Faerie Festival or The Winter Starlight Celebration?” and see what results you get. (My money is on the Advent Calendar, double or nothing!)

8. Poogle races. Poogles never have to be forced to run in those humiliating races again, rejoice! (Plus, I bet they were rigged anyway) Besides, Turdle Racing is where it’s at.

9. Faerieland Employment Agency. As if it wasn’t enough to do endless amounts of quests for them. Let’s face it, we’re not here to work! We’re here to play, battle, dress up, et cetera. Plus it’s not like the neo-economy needs people to be richer!

10. Meridell is better anyway. Where else will you find a giant Turmac, Cheese Rolling, Round Table Poker and potatoes, all in one place? Plus, which would you rather have: a fierce Draik or a prissy Faerie pet? Enough said.

So, you may not agree with all my points, but hopefully you read a few of them and just had to nod your head to them. (Did you nod your head? You better have!) Regardless of whether or not you like Faerieland, you have to admit that Neopia IS better off without it. In fact, now that it’s out of the spotlight, other lands in Neopia can come out to the forefront and be hailed *cough*Meridell*cough*.

But in all seriousness, it gives other places like Shenkuu, Altador, Roo Island, Kiko Lake and Tyrannia a fighting chance. For all we know, Lutari Island may become the new Faerieland! (If you can even manage to get there anyway.) Though I’m not sure anyone would readily want that title seeming as how someone definitely has a huge vendetta against Faerieland. Yeah, that would be a risky situation. On second thought, forget what I said about how great Meridell is. If you didn’t like Faerieland, may I suggest you set your sights on Brightvale next? Just a thought. *shifty eyes*

By the way, if you sat through this whole list and my excessive unnecessary ramblings you should probably know that my thoughts cost ten neopoints each, not the usual two, so pay up! Hey, don’t complain, it’s probably less than those faeries would ask for anyway. Oh, and bring more food!

Until next time, your all-time most favorite king,

Skarl

P.S. Don’t tell Hagan I said that; let us just keep it between us, yes?