Racing Through NQ3: A Guide to Completing Neoquest 3 Quickly

It's here, it's here! After years of waiting, Neoquest 3 is finally here. And if we do say so ourselves, the game design is really cool; building on the foundation started with Neoquest and Neoquest II, it's bigger and badder than before. You start off with Kero, the heroic and dashing Scorchio, and pick up party members as you go. Unlike NQ2, you have control over who you pick up and what side quests you want to complete. Want a big party with multiple healers? You got it. Want that cool Eyrie, but wish she was a mage instead of an archer? You got that too. Like its predecessors, NQ3 has three modes – normal, evil, and insane, and they award, respectively, bronze, silver, and gold trophies. To unlock evil you must beat normal, and to unlock insane you must beat evil. As with NQ2, Neoquest 3 also awards prizes – and the prizes get better the harder the mode you play.

But while most of us are really excited, there are inevitably those among us who really could not care any less whether it's here or not – except they want the pretty shiny trophies. They really don't care to fangirl over Kero the snazzy hero or what the final battle with Lord Faerigan is like, or even the stats on the prizes you can win – they just. Want. The. Trophy. Well, never fear; Fuz (sinistrous) and I have you covered. We proudly present five strategies for racing through Neoquest 3 as fast as you possibly can – you'll thank us after reading them. Really...

1) Clear your calendar completely for at least a week. Cloning yourself helps.

Real-life just makes neo-life more complicated, and will delay getting those shiny pixels for your lookup. We suggest clearing your social calendar entirely; without all those pesky social obligations, there won't be anything to interfere with your neoquesting. The more time you can dedicate to NQ3, the sooner you finish the game, get the prize, and win the trophy! Plus, you earn neopoints as you play. It's win/win, right?

If you're having trouble clearing your calendar, it might be worth paying a visit to Dr. Sloth; he has some helpful cloning experience. For Neoquest 3, we're pretty sure he'd help you out – it's pretty well known he's not a fan of Lord Faerigan, after all.

2) Forgo sleeping. Stock up with lots of Neocola, Achyfi, and Borovan.

On a similar note, sleep is over-rated. It just takes precious time away that you could be using to Neoquest. Sure, you don't want to go without sleep forever – but if you stay awake now, you can finish NQ3 and get it done with! We suggest stocking up on lots of Neocola. Fuz prefers regular Neocola, but I personally like the Cherry Neocola best. (Just be sure not to accidentally grab the caffeine-free Neocola – that won't help you at all!) For the odd ones among us who dislike Neocola, Achyfi and Borovan are acceptable substitutes.

3) Eat a really really big meal before starting, and stock your computer area with lots of high protein snacks.

On a similar note as point #2, prior to beginning Neoquest 3, eat a really, really big meal. Think Thanksgiving-style big meal. (But no turkey, please – remember, that will make you sleepy, and that's counter-productive!) Eating lots of protein so you stay full longer helps; you won't have to take so many meal breaks that way! Stocking up your computer desk with lots of high protein snacks helps a lot too; you won't have to stop playing to help fill your empty belly. Chokato Crisps are surprisingly high in protein and make a relatively healthy snack, as are Peanut Butter Tony Crackers. Skip the Taro Root Cakes, though... trust us. Just... take our word for it.

4) Collect lots and lots and lots of speed potions.

That's right! Lots and lots of speed potions. Of all varieties. If a shop sells them, have Kero buy as many as you have gold for. The max you can carry is 30 of each, so make sure you fill your backpack; if you don't have enough gold to get 30 of each, go level up a little further to earn some gold and get the rest of the speed potions.

All right, so they don't actually make the game go any faster; to tell you the truth, we're not entirely sure why they're in the game, as it looks like the hasting function you're familiar with from previous Neoquest incarnations has been omitted entirely from the newest version of NQ. But like pushing the door-close button in an elevator or the walk-button at a stoplight cross walk, it's sure to make you feel better. And this is mostly a psychological battle, right? Right?

5) Wait a couple months before playing. No, really. We're serious.

Yes, you read that right. Don't play yet – wait a few months! Sure, you won't win any of the racing trophies, but if you wait, people will write guides. They'll make maps that will take them hours. They'll compose strategies and recommendations for you to follow. They'll help take the thought out of a strategy game, and the end result is that when you finally do get around to taking Kero through his epic Neo Quest, you won't spend nearly as much time clicking and adventuring and exploring as the people who made the maps and guides.

Sure – you won't get quite the same sense of accomplishment, and you won't be able to say "I beat Neoquest III all by myself!" But let's be honest – when you playing NQ and NQ2, you probably used a guide, didn't you? And we bet it took you a lot less time than trying to beat the game by yourself, right? So why the rock boat!

Well, that wraps this article up! We hope you enjoy playing Neoquest 3 as much as we do; we definitely have to give the game designers props because it has an intricate story line that's almost as much fun to read as it is to play. Oh – and one last bit of advice: Even if Sophie's side quest adds time to the game and the prize is a measly 10hp healing potion, do it anyway. The extra leveling up you get along the way will save you time in the end, even if the NQ boards advise otherwise. Good luck neoquesting, folks!