Forgiving

      Precisely that long since Ben left us. I keep track of this because soon eighteen months will have passed, and we will be free from the shadow he left behind—the owner of the bank account we use, the shop we run, the trophies we win.

      Essie likes to remind me that our abandoned account may not be purged at exactly the eighteen month mark, but I like to think that it will. A lot of people and pets hate the idea of purges; they think that pets from a purged account are sucked into some kind of black hole and wind up in Jelly World with standoffish Huggys and other things that don't exist, but that's not true. Pets from a purged account simply join the ranks of ownerless pets, pets like Hanso and King Skarl, pets that aren't at the mercy of some person who may or may not deign to show up and do things like feed you.

      Not to say that my siblings and I have been starving. We don't even eat omelette every day. I play enough at the Games Room to make sure we can afford variety in our diets, even if it's mostly cheap stuff like Faerie Toast with Butter. I am too proud for us to live off of nothing but omelette.

      That's what I tell myself as I march through the snow to the Games Room, knowing that it will be twice as hard to earn enough money to avoid free omelette at this time of year, since I have to buy presents for Essie, Zeke, and Tau. Because in six days, it will not just be the day our account inactivity reaches eighteen months.

      It is the Day of Giving.

      I suppose I should be more morose that a day devoted to family and friends should coincide with the day our supposedly biggest friend and the head of our family will disappear from our lives forever, but I'm not. Paradoxically, pain is an anesthetic. It numbs you to other feelings. At least, it does for me.

      But still, there's that little whisper in the back of my mind. You miss him. Maybe, as I play for presents, it will stop me from caring about Ben. But then I notice a Faerie Chia heading towards Fashion Fever, and my heart aches. That was Ben's latest goal when he left. Before he slowly slipped away from us, he was planning on painting me Faerie. But I push that memory away and think of the wishes that will come true.

      Christmas dinner, I think as I whack the Kass plushie away. A Usuki for Essie, as I aim my Faerie Bubble cannon. A Haunted Woods Altador Cup jersey for Zeke, as I reroute Meepit Juice pipes. Books for Tau, as I toss Wingoballs.

      By the time I leave, my pockets are jingling with Neopoints and I'm starting to feel downright cheerful. "You see, we get on great without you," I imagine myself telling Ben. "There's nothing at all that we need."

      And it's a good thing I'm feeling so chipper, too, because when I get home, a scene of utter chaos meets my eyes. Essie, a Cloud Usul, is shouting at Tau, a Checkered Kau, who sits smugly as a pink notebook that I recognize as Essie's diary zooms around the room, emitting the occasional spark or pop. Tau has enchanted it, I realize when I see his glowing front hooves. Zeke, a Baby Lupe now spotted green for some reason and dripping some purple liquid, is running around after the diary, throwing balled up pieces of paper and shouting "Goal!" whenever he makes a hit. And in the middle of it all, Tau's cauldron lies dumped out on the floor, leaving a purple stain on the carpet.

      "What on Neopia is going on here?!" I exclaim, too shocked to even close the door behind me. "Have you lost your minds?"

      "Tau read my diary and now he's stolen it!" Essie pipes angrily, the clouds on her face turning red.

      "I did not read it," Tau qualifies, floating the diary just out of her reach. "I only took it because you knocked over my cauldron."

      "Onto me," Zeke mutters. "Tau, do you know when these Slorg spots are going to go away?" Ah. So that's the reason for the green spots.

      "Should clear up in about a day," Tau explains. "Of course, we could speed up the process, but that would involve five Greebles, a sack of potatoes, and a very angry Bubblebee."

      "Why were you even making a potion that gives people Slorg spots in the first place?" Essie asks.

      "Don't try to change the subject," I tell her. "I want the whole story. And I want it from Zeke. You two are too angry to be honest."

      They each huff a sigh.

      "Right, Zeke, you have the floor."

      He grins. My youngest brother loves to be the center of attention. That's partly why he wants to be a professional Yooyuball player when he grows up.

      "Wellll," he begins, "we're talking about the Faeries' Ruin when all of a sudden Tau says he knows that Essie thinks Hanso is handsome. And then Essie denies it, but Tau keeps saying 'I know you do, I know you do,' so Essie goes, 'DID YOU READ MY DIARY?' Then Tau goes, 'I didn't need to, you talk about him all the time,' and Essie says, 'I know you read it!' And then she tips over the cauldron and the potion gets on me. Then Tau's really mad, so he uses a levitating spell on Essie's diary, makes it fly right out of her room and go around and around. That's when you walked in."

      I'm so mad I can barely speak. But I find the words anyway. "First, I want you two to apologize to each other and to Zeke," I order, pointing at Essie and Tau. They exchange venomous glances. "Then, I want Zeke to go to the bathroom and rinse that potion out of his fur. Essie, you and Tau get to clean up the potion. And no cleaning spells," I warn Tau. "I'll sit here and watch."

      "But she's the one who knocked it over!" Tau whines.

      "Because you were teasing her," I remind him sternly. "And levitating her diary."

      "Fine."

      Insincere apologies are muttered, a Lupe is washed, and a carpet is scrubbed. I sit on the couch, rubbing my temples to soothe the headache they've given me. And to think, I was out earning Neopoints so I could buy them presents!

      When I climb up the stairs to my bedroom, there's an exhausted Chia staring back at me in the mirror. I know in my heart that this is too much. It's too much to handle them all by myself. If Ben were here...

      But he's not. He hasn't been for seventeen months.

      ***

      Given the trouble my siblings get into without pointy hooks and shiny lights, you could imagine the dread with which I viewed trimming the tree. But I was pleasantly surprised at how well they behaved themselves. Nobody was turned into a Mortog, which is the first time in a while. The worst thing about it was getting berated for putting this off so late.

      "For Fyora's sake, Annie, it's five days 'til the Day of Giving!" Tau sighs, adjusting a snowman ornament.

      "I know, I know," I say irritably, but apologetically. "I've just been so busy lately. I wanted us all to be together for this."

      It might just be me, but I could've sworn I heard Zeke mutter, "We're not all together."

      And he has good reason. Ben always made a big deal out of trimming the tree. Everybody had a specific job. Tau and Zeke had to untangle the lights, Ben set up the tree, and Essie and I unpacked ornaments. Then we attacked the tree with ornaments like we were Darigan and it was Meridell. It always looked fantastic.

      And then there would always come a point where someone would trip over a box and take somebody else down with them, and we would all end up laughing on the floor. Then when we were finished Ben would go and make us waffles and hot chocolate and we would curl up under blankets by the fire and admire our handiwork.

      There are no waffles and hot chocolate today. As we gazed at our completed tree, Essie says, "I feel like something's missing."

      Somehow, I know she's not talking about ornaments.

      ***

      When the Day of Giving comes, I hear Zeke sneak into Essie's room. I know they're looking out the window, searching for the sun. We have a rule in our family that no one can go in the living room and open presents until the sun rises. As a faint orange glow warms my frosted window, Zeke bounds into my room and practically jumps on top of me, Essie not far behind.

      "Can we go now? Pleasepleaseplease," he begs.

      I smile and nod.

      He bounces of the bed like he sat on an Urgoni, and they run to wake Tau. Together we descend the staircase, and my siblings dash for their presents. The stockings are stuffed and the space under the tree is filled. Soon the floor is littered with wrappings. Essie loves her Usuki so much, she hardly puts it down. Zeke puts his jersey on right away. And Tau looks at the first book I gave him and goes, "I have read that book already."

      "You are so hard to please."

      The three of them give me a Gypsy Chia Hat, Belt, and Necklace. I'm touched because I know Neopoint wearables are so expensive. Just when I'm about to go try them on, I hear a knock at the door.

      "Who on Neopia comes to call on the Day of Giving?" I wonder aloud.

      "We won't know until you answer it," Tau says.

      "All right," I say. When I reach the door, I notice a familiar figure through the window, and my heart starts to race.

      I open the door.

      And there he is, standing on the porch. Ben's taller than when we last saw him, and his hair is shorter. I notice a scar on his cheek and wonder how he got it. And then the emotions hit me.

      "You." I take a step back.

      "Me," he says.

      "BEN!" Zeke bellows, running to embrace him like nothing at all is wrong. Essie follows suit, but Tau hangs back for a moment like me. Then he goes over and hugs Ben all the same. It is only me that cannot move.

      I am crying, but it is only something I am aware of in the background, nothing of consequence. The only thing that matters is standing right in front of me, and I have no idea what to do.

      "Merry Day of Giving! I brought presents," he says, raising a bag.

      Anger stabs through me. "You think you can buy our affections?" I ask coldly.

      His face falls. "Of course not."

      "I'm going to my room."

      "Annie! Wait!"

      I take the stairs two at a time, because I can't get out of there fast enough. Ben runs after me, his long legs letting him catch up. As I reach the doorway to my room, I feel his hand on my shoulder.

      "Please, listen to me. I just want you to forgive me," he says, involuntarily giving me Puppyblew eyes.

      "Give me one good reason."

      Out of his bag he pulls a Faerie Paint Brush.

      I gasp in spite of myself. "You remembered."

      "Of course I remembered," he says, handing it to me. I feel the smooth wood of the handle, and the lavender wings flutter slightly.

      "How?"

      Ben smiles. "Our stocks have done incredibly well since I left. I never thought Fish Pops would take off, but hey, color me surprised."

      I smile a little, but can't quite let the joy overtake me. "So you want me to forgive you because you're giving me a Paint Brush."

      He frowns. "I want you to forgive me because we're family. I know I hurt you guys, and there's nothing I can do to change that. But I want to come back home."

      Seeing him standing there with hope in his eyes makes my heart soften. Suddenly I hug him, the Paint Brush clattering to the floor. It wasn't what I wanted anyway.

      Because it's not just the Day of Giving. It's the Day of Forgiving.

The End