An Interview with Ethel Boortz

Annie: So, Ms. Boortz, I'm so glad you could spare time in your busy schedule for an interview. My name is Annie.

Boortz: Nice to meet you, Annie. Call me Ethel. It's no trouble at all, my dear. It'll be nice to have a break from all the excitement and just chat a bit.

Annie: Yes, it's a very busy time of year for you athletes! Tell me, how do you relax in the midst of all the activity?

Boortz: Oh, I knit like mad. I suppose it fulfills the stereotype of Elderly pets, doesn't it?

Annie: There's nothing wrong with that. What are you working on right now?

Boortz: I'm knitting sweatbands for the team. In Meridellian colors, of course.

Annie: Of course! Speaking of your team, who is your favorite teammate to work with?

Boortz: Oh, I couldn't pick! I suppose I'm closest to Wizard and Fiorina, but I really do cherish them all. It's such a great group Wizard's gathered, and I feel like we all work well together.

Annie: I'd say! Meridell's done a fantastic job this year.

Boortz: Why, thank you!

Annie: You're a new addition to the team. I understand this is your first year. Tell me about that.

Boortz: Yes, well I realized my life didn't have quite the same excitement it used to, so I decided to try my hand at Yooyuball. [laughs] Turns out, I have a knack for it!

Annie: You certainly do! What excitement were your referring to?

Boortz: Oh, back when I was younger, we didn't have the Cup. Altador hadn't even been discovered! So, I was a Battledome junkie. "The Unbeatable Boortz," that's what they called me. I guess that's where I got my competitive spirit.

Annie: Yes, I'll bet that experience helps. Do you ever have trouble reigning in your competitive side on the field?

Boortz: I'm actually a pretty relaxed player, to tell you the truth. I think the difference between me and the younger players is that I've reached the point in my life where you realize that if you can't have fun doing something, it's not worth doing!

Annie: Sounds like good advice to me! Has it been hard to maintain such a positive attitude when you encounter pets that think an Elderly pet can't compete?

Boortz: It's been a struggle sometimes, I'll admit. I just have to remind myself, "Ethel, you're not doing this for them anyway, so it doesn't matter what they think." Really, the fact that people underestimate my abilities comes in handy. People expect me to be meek and frail, but I'm really quite the opposite. After all, some of my strengths are tackling and toughness.

Annie: Right you are! So then, are your doctors ever concerned by the impact of such an intense sport on your health?

Boortz: They tell me to take it easy every once in a while, but they're actually quite supportive of me. "Ethel," they say, "we need more pets like you who stay active." I must say I agree with them. People do sit around a lot nowadays. Back in the day, people judged you by how many teeth you'd lost in the Meridell-Darigan wars!

Annie: [laughs] If I remember correctly, Darigan was actually your first opponent this year. Talk about a historical rivalry!

Boortz: [laughs] Yes, I suppose it is! But Darigan is actually remarkably civil during the Cup. I can't always say the same for their fans, though! [more laughter]

Annie: Any incidents?

Boortz: Oh, nothing involving me or my teammates. There have been a few squabbles between our fans and their fans, but nothing too serious.

Annie: Have you had any odd encounters with Meridell fans, then?

Boortz: Hmm, there was one Lenny chap who had me sign his beak. Didn't have any paper, and he didn't think to ask me to sign his clothes!

Annie: [laughs] How odd! I guess nothing else fit the bill!

Boortz: Oh, corny puns! I do love them.

Annie: I couldn't resist! Which reminds me, do you have any guilty pleasures?

Boortz: There is a Neovision show I adore: Donksaur Abbey.

Annie: Oh, me too! It's so fascinating seeing how the upper crust lives. Speaking of the elite, how does King Skarl show his support for the team?

Boortz: He's thrown us a few feasts at the castle. But ever since King Hagan added an Altador Cup History section to his library in honor of Montecito and his gang, King Skarl's been looking for a way to one-up his brother. Personally, I'm hoping for a new practice field in Meridell.

Annie: Maybe after he reads this article, that will happen! Wait, does King Skarl read the Neopian Times?

Boortz: From what I hear, he loves the comics. Says they're better jokes than what pets usually say to try and get a laugh out of him!

Annie: Yes, he's never seemed too giggly when I've tried to crack a joke to him. I guess he doesn't like corny puns! But I'm getting off track. So, do you think you're likely to return for next year's Cup?

Boortz: Well, nothing's set in stone. But I wouldn't say I'm quite through yet! [winks]

Annie: All right! Well it was a pleasure talking to you, Ethel. Good luck on the field and in the future!

Boortz: Thank you! The pleasure was mine.