A Plethora of Plumpies

      I wandered around Happy Valley, hoping there would possibly be a stray Plumpy wandering about that no one picked up during the holiday festivities. I see strays all over Neopia. My Grandma's back yard recently became infested with a herd of stray Babaas. I think they're adorable. All fluffy white, adorned with flowers and green bows. She hates them, however. She is constantly shooing them away with her cane and screaming at them to get off her lawn.

      After searching all day, none had turned up and I began to feel disheartened. I sat on the bench, watching the little ones play Rink Runner and sipped on a Snidberry Slushie thinking to myself,"Snidberries? Whoever heard of a Snidberry?". I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear the Blue Lutari approach. I look over, startled, when I suddenly heard him slurp on his single scoop of sorbet. He grinned at my slyly and softly said, "I hear you are after a Plumpy?"

      "Yes!" I responded, excited. I didn't question how he knew this. I hadn't been the least bit stealthy while I had scoured over the mountainside that day.

      "I've got one ya can have. It's given me nothing but a headach- er joy. I just can't keep up with all its, um, needs. My Ice Cream Cart requires takes up a lot of my time, you see." He smiled brightly, a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He continued, "This Plumpy isn't like the other ones though. He requires a little special attention. Are you up for that?

      The Lutari eagerly looked at me, waiting for a response. "Yes!" I almost shouted while I excitedly nodded my head. At that point I was so desperate to own one, I would have paid 100k. "Of course. I can handle anything that. I'm incredibly responsible and will take great care of him."

      "Great!" he responded with joy. He ran off in a hurry, causing me to frown in confusion. I thought we were in the middle of a negotiation. I didn't have long to fret because he was back in less than three minutes with a Sturdy Petpet Cage and an Icy Notepad. He quickly handed me both items.

      "Here ya go. I'm glad you can give this creature a good home." I took the cage from him and my arm immediately strained with the unexpected weight. The cage looked way too small to be so heavy. I shifted my weight to my left to compensate for the additional mass.

      The Lutari turned to walk back to his cart without waiting for me to say thank you. He had traversed several yards before he stopped abruptly and turned around with a serious look on his face.

      "Don't forget to follow the rules. It's very very important. You HAVE to follow them!" His eyes locked onto mine waiting for a response.

      I nodded my head, in understanding, though slightly perplexed at the severity in his tone. He started to say something else then stopped himself and continued his pursuit back to work.

      Later than evening I got my new Plumpy settled in then opened the notepad to see what mysterious instructions it held. There were several sentences on the first page but the rest of the pages were blank. I flipped through them several times, as if something new might pop up, but only the first page had a mark on it. I wondered what the Lutari had his fur in such a bunch over. A handful of rules couldn't possibly be that hard to follow.

      I skimmed over the sentences and the instructions seemed simple enough.

1. Never expose the Plumpy to exercise.
2. Never give it Neonip.
3. Last, most importantly: never, ever feed it bacon.

      I closed the cover of the Icy Blue Notebook. The rules appeared simple enough. I could easily follow them. I walked out of the bedroom and closed the door. A tugging sensation lurked across the back of my mind. Something about these rules was familiar to me. Almost reminiscent of something. I walked down the hall into the Den, placed the notepad on a shelf, and shrugged off the feeling. I chalked it up to the creepy Lutari being so serious about an easy set of instructions.

      A few days passed, without notice, and I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend. My Plumpy, whom I fondly dubbed Tubsy, and I were getting along great. I pushed away the occasional nagging wonder as to why the Lutari was so hasty to give away this sweet little fur ball to the back of my mind.

      A beautiful Saturday came quickly. Tubsy and I spent it playing outside. Sunday we spent doing chores and more playing in the sun. Evening came and because I'd lazily put off going to the Food Store, I ordered takeout from Faerie Foods. I got home and settled onto the couch with my dinner. I'd picked up a special they were having on some gourmet sandwich that I think was called a Belly Buster and a side of Delicate Faerie Nachos. I am totally addicted to those nachos.

      I was halfway through my meal when Tubsy started mewing. I threw my head back against the couch and sighed. I'd forgotten to pick up more Fancy Petpet Food while I'd been out. It's the only kind Tubsy would eat. I guess good taste is easy to recognize. I sat up and looked at him looking at me with big round eyes.

      "Buddy, I don't feel like going back out," he responded by coming closer and weaving himself through my feet. He flopped over onto his back, his belly sprawling over to each side and reached a paw up in the air. I giggled and handed down a piece of my leftover sandwich. "I don't know if you'll like but you're more than welcome to it if you do."

      The new tidbit got Tubsy's attention and he quickly rolled over onto his feet and started sniffing it. Before I knew it, he'd snatched it up and it was gone. He immediately looked at me, expectantly, for another piece. I giggled again and laid what was left of the Belly Buster Supreme, or whatever it was called, on the floor and went to bed.

      Sometime in the early hours of the morning I was awoken by a plaintive mewing sound. I stumbled, sleepily, into the kitchen and blindly reached for the light switch. Once I had it on I found Tubsy sitting in the middle of the floor crying incessantly. (You thought Kadoaties were bad???) I tried cuddling him, playing with him, giving him fresh Kau Kau Farm Milk. Nothing would settle him. Finally I gave in and grabbed my keys. I knew NeoMart was open for 24 hours a day and would have Petpet food. That had to be what had my sweet Plumpy all worked up. He seemed to be the type that could not have a centimeter showing on the bottom of his food dish.

      As soon as I got home I opened up a can and dumped it in a bowl for him.

      By now the sun was coming up and I had to get ready for work. Tubsy pawed at the bowl and started crying again. I didn't have time to deal with him anymore. Whatever it was had to wait until after I got home.

      Later that day, I explained to a co-worker, Jensin, my current predicament after she commented on how tired I looked. She listened intently then reached in her Jeweled Angelpuss Purse. She pulled out a tiny stuffed pillow. When she handed it to me I saw it was a tiny mouse. It had small black eyes made from beads and I cute string tale.

      "Try this," Jensin said. "My Angelpuss adores them. It's her favorite toy. She drops them in my purse when she's finished playing. "She giggled. "I guess she thinks that's a safe place. Anyways, I can't remember exactly what's filled inside. I know it's stuffed with something they go crazy for. Plumpies are quite similar to the Angelpuss. Maybe it will help distract him."

      I gave her a hug in thanks and clocked out. "I'm going home now," I told her. "I'll let you know tomorrow how it worked."

      When I walked through the front door I heard immediately Tubsy's mewing had turned to a howling. I freaked out, thinking he was in some kind of pain. I rushed to call an emergency Petpet vet when I heard a bizarre sound. Tubsy had stopped howling and was making a rumbling noise deep within his throat. The muscles across his stomach looked like they were knotting up. Tubsy started shaking, as if he was wet and trying to fling off the droplets of water. I stared, frozen in shock, as he gave one final tremble and tufts of fur went flying all over the Pink Flower Floor tiles.

      I just stood in the middle of the kitchen and surveyed the scene. Tubsy instantly looked like he felt better. He stopped crying and was sitting next to the door frame smoothing down his ruffled fur with a paw. Other than hundreds of little fur balls scattered across the floor all seemed right in the world again. I shook my head in confusion, made a mental note to call the vet in the morning and swept up the mess. I tossed the fur in the trash bin and thought about what I was going to cook for dinner. I reached in my purse for a recipe I had clipped out of a Glamour Day Magazine. Instead of the recipe I pulled out the stuffed mouse my coworker had given me earlier. In the chaos that ensued I'd forgotten about it. I inspected it for a moment before deciding Tubsy had far too much excitement for one day and tossed it into the bin on top of all the fuzz.

      Just like the night before I was awoken in the wee hours of the morning by sounds of mewing. As I grumpily sat up and looked at the clock I could hear a series of mewing noises coming from what sounded like the kitchen and the den? I wasn't sure which room Tubsy was in. I set my paws on the floor and stood up, confused at the sounds I was hearing. "I should have called the Vet last night." I thought to myself. The sounds I could hear Tubsy making did not sound good. At all. Just like the night before I searched for the light but this time when I found the switch what I saw when the bulb turned on was a whole different scene.

      I froze. Like an Ixi caught in headlights. Frolicking all over the kitchen were dozens and dozens of tiny Plumpies. They were darting across the floor. Rolling around on the counter tops. Shimmying up the curtains. I delicately stepped over them as I headed into the living room where I found three dozen more. I had no idea what was going on. Tubsy was sitting in the middle of the floor on a pile next to a pile of books and a handful of knickknacks that had been knocked up the shelves. In place of the books was a pile of sleeping Plumpies.

      I walked over to Tubsy and scooped him up. "What is going on, Buddy? I questioned him. He gave no response other than leaping out of my arms and running down the hall. I glanced around at all the Plumpies in disbelief. Where did they all come from? When I looked at my clock it had said 4:20am. I had several hours before I could call anyone for assistance. I didn't know who to call, regardless, so I decided to use the time to think. I walked backed into the kitchen and dug through the cabinets. Cursed. Where did I put that Coffee Service? I unearthed it out from under the sink and got it going. As the coffee was percolating I looked at the tiny Plumpies cavorting around me. Curiouser and curiouser, I wondered. I laughed as one of them tried to sneak up on another and tripped over its own tail before it could make the final pounce. They were awfully cute...

      I took my coffee into the living room and started to straighten up the mess as I wondered who I could contact to advise me on what to do. Or how this happened. I set the mug on my newly purchased Disco Coffee Table and bent down to pick up the books and trinkets that were lying haphazardly across the floor. I noticed my Earthy Magnifying Glass and bent to pick that up first, before it got broken. That's when I noticed it was lying on top of the Icy Notepad that weird Lutari had given me. The notepad had fallen onto the floor open and the handle of the glass was nestled in the crook keeping the pages open. As I got closer I noticed something odd. The glass was enlarging words on the page that I hadn't been able to see before. Even with the enhanced image the print was still incredibly miniscule. I picked up both the notepad and magnifying glass and walked over to the lamp. I held the page under the light and peered through the glass, squinting. After a moment my eyes got adjusted and I started to read the "fine print". On the same page as the three rules were listed was one simple paragraph.

      DISCLAIMER: Breaking any rules stated above will result in the following. 1. Exposing the Plumpy to exercise will cause exertion resulting in a visit from the Grim Mynci. Do not do this. 2. Any exposure to Bacon will cause stage 1 of Plumplication to begin. If this happens don't panic. Collect stage 1 specimens, place in a Metal Rubbish Bin and discard in a secure location. 3. Exposure to Neonip will finalize stages 2 and 3 of Plumplication and complete the process. If this happens, well... May the Faeries be with you.

      I closed the Icy cover. Plumplication? What did that mean? I sat on the floor amongst all the tiny fur balls. Most of them sleeping, exhausted from all the havoc they wreaked amongst my possessions. The sounds of them purring while they dreamed was almost soothing. They SURE were cute. I took the opportunity of them all nestled in one large pile to take a head count. After I tallied the last one I looked at the number. One hundred and one. I thought to myself, "Who is their right mind cares for 101 animals?" I don't know who would think of something like that but it's just craziness.

      I walked into the kitchen to refill my coffee mug and found another small pile that I had overlooked. This one contained another seventeen mini plumpies bringing the total to one hundred and eighteen. I asked myself again how this could have happened. I followed all the rules. The Lutari must have known Tubsy was jinxed somehow which answered my question on why he was so hasty to hand him off to me. I leaned back in the chair and watched the sun begin to rise over the horizon as I sipped my coffee. I still didn't know who I was supposed to call for this kind of situation. I started to doze off; missing so much sleep the past two nights was beginning to take its toll.

      I was in the state of mind where consciousness begins to meld into sleep and your thoughts start to wander off into dreams. I was thinking about the delicious sandwich I'd eaten a few nights ago. The homemade bread was so yummy and the thinly sliced beef with fresh dressing and the delectable slices of crisp bacon. I was thinking I would get another when my present issue was resolved as my mind started to cross the line into sleep. Then my body jolted with such a forceful start that I almost crashed backwards in the chair. "BACON!!!" I shouted to no one in particular. "GREAT SCOTT, THE SANDWICH HAD BACON!!" I bellowed even louder, waking up the hundred plus Plumpies in result. I stared at them. Obviously they were somehow the end result of sharing that sandwich with Tubsy. How, though? I racked my brain. How? Even though I gave Tubsy bacon, that should have triggered only stage 1. This must have been the fur balls he shook from his fur. That still didn't explain how the rest of the stages triggered.

      I paced around the kitchen then down the hall and back. The disclaimer said neonip. I didn't have any lying around the house and even if I had, I didn't expose any of the hairballs to it.

      I padded down the hall to the bathroom. A shower was exactly what I needed to help clear my head. I let the hot spray hit me and began to relax as the steam swirled around me. I grabbed a brand new bottle of Raindrop Shampoo (I love the way it makes my hair sparkle) and started working up lather.

      As I rinsed out the suds I began making a mental list of the things I knew for certain. I knew my "special Plumpy" spewed out Mutant hairballs. I knew the Lutari had totally suckered me. I knew why I wasn't supposed to feed Tubsy Bacon. I knew I had an army of Baby Plumpies frolicking through my house. I did not know how the fluff balls went from fur to fur-real. I also had no idea what I was going to do with all of them.

      I stepped out of the shower and looked at the clock I had plugged in next to the sink. 7:19 Am. I briefly debated taking a personal day from work before I quickly determined it was the best course of action. I wrapped myself up in my favorite green towel (I bought it because I couldn't resist the cute purple flowers embroidered along the edged). I opened the bathroom door, letting a cloud of steam out, and walked back down the hall into the den. Mindful to step over the tiny white bodies I encountered along the way.

      I made a short pit stop to slip my head out the window, pursed my lips and tweeted out a few short whistles before I grabbed my Glitterpen and sat down on the couch to write down the message. As I was thinking about how to word it three of the itty bitty Plumpies crawled up my leg like a tree trunk and curled into a ball, settling in for another nap. I leaned back against the cushions and absentmindedly stroked their fur as I took pen to paper. The faint rumbling vibrations of their purring soothed my frazzled nerves. They were awfully cute.

      As I finished the last sentence a few of the Plumpies by the window started to emit tiny rumbles and growls. I looked up and saw the Carrier Weewoo I had whistled for was here. My little fur balls were climbing on top of each other trying to get a chance to face battle. I laughed at how cute they were.

      As I tied the message to the Weewoo's leg I thought about how sweet Jensin was the day before. I had to remember to buy her a Thank You Card before I went back into work tomorrow. I sat up abruptly, making the sleepy Plumpies jump away and run in three opposite directions. Tendrils of a thought formed making pit of my stomach knot up and ache. I sprinted into the kitchen, heading straight for the rubbish bin. I started digging around through the garbage like a mad woman. Frantically, I retrieved the offending item. Pulling it out with a flourish. "Got it!" I said to no one in particular except my Plethora of Plumps.

      I set the tiny stuffed mouse on the kitchen counter and examined it. I could hear Jensin's voice replaying faintly in my head, "It's stuffed with something...". I grabbed the orange handled kitchen scissors out of the junk drawer and sliced into the cloth. I dumped its contents out onto the counter top and pushed a bit of around with my fingertip, leaning over closely to get a better look at the stuff. It was definitely some kind of dried herb. I wasn't positive if I was correctly identifying it so I sprinkled out more of the contents from the toy and looked again. This time I could see flakes of lavender petals mixed in with the dried herbs. I was now positive. Neonip. My answer to the Nightsteedmare going on around me.

      I felt my shoulders slump. This was entirely my fault. I accepted a black market Plumpy and didn't follow the directions.

      "I guess I'm going to have to call the Petpet Rescuer and have him collect you guys." I couldn't help but notice the regretful tone in my voice. They were SO cute. And this was technically my responsibility. I was the one who created the mess. Maybe, I began to rethink; I should stand up and take ownership of my mistake.

      I looked around at all the little bodies. I knew it was going to be a lot of work caring for them but I also knew I was up to the challenge. I spoke softly to them, "You had me at Mew."

      So, if you are wondering why I have white fur all over my Cute Lavender Fluffy Sweater or why my shopping cart contains three hundred pounds of bacon? (I've learned they get very very very angry without it. We just keep every trace of neonip far away from the house.) The answer is, I cannot imagine a life that's not filled with all the love those cute little hairballs give me.

      Now if only I could paint them with Petpet Paintbrushes! Changing their colours would sure help me tell them apart better...

The End