Neocash Redemption Prizes Starring Illusen!

      Christine: Welcome! Each Month of Running, Neopians across the globe celebrate Earth Faeries, particularly Illusen, and just about anything green and/or earthy. Illusen is a very sweet and stylish Earth Faerie, so why not show her some love? In this article, we’ll be discussing some Illusen-themed items which came from redemptions of Neocash cards about ten years ago. While those cards can still be redeemed for Neocash if you have them, I’m not sure if they’ll still give Illusen-themed items. You can always buy those items from other players using Neopoints, though! (These redemption prizes are Neopoint items, not Neocash items.) Without further ado, here are the items:

      ---Illusen Bean Bag---

      Angie: How pretty!

     Ella: Yeah, but I’m too busy to sit and take a much-needed break on this bean bag. I’m busy watching Walda all day.

     Maldice: True. The brat will get into all kinds of trouble if she isn’t constantly supervised.

     Walda: I’m not a brat, you meanie!

     Maldice: Yes, you are.

     Walda: Well, if you think I’m such a brat, then I WON’T share my new bean bag with you!

     ---Walda jumps onto the bean bag very forcefully.---

     RRRRIIIIPPPP!!!

     Walda: What was that?

     Maldice: I think you just broke it, smart one.

     ---Pellets spill onto the floor.---

     Angie: *sigh* That’s her ULTIMATE strength in action.

     Christine: Please be more careful with your belongings, Walda. They cost Neopoints.

     Walda: I WANT A NEW ONE!!! NOW!!!

     Maldice: You’re not getting one as long as you ask like that!

     Walda: GIMME A NEW ONE!!! WAAAAHHHH!!!

     ---Walda continues to scream and cry, so Maldice takes her up to her room, dragging her by her ponytail, and locks the door.---

     Ella: *glares at Maldice* It’s SO MEAN to drag her by her hair!!!

     Maldice: She’s gotten too strong to carry. She’s a Battledome pet!

     Ella: True, but that carpet can’t feel good on her skin!

     Maldice: Then how am I supposed to discipline her?

     Ella: Let her cry, I guess. She has to stop eventually...

      ---Illusen Crystal Holiday Globe---

      Maldice: Very pretty! I love snowglobes.

     Angie: I agree. Just keep it away from Walda... She’d accidentally break it.

     Maldice: You’re right. If she can break a bean bag, then she’d absolutely DESTROY that!

     ---SMASH!!!---

     Ella: Ummmm... What was that?!

     Angie: I don’t know...

     Walda: *walks downstairs* Did someone say my name?

     Maldice: Walda! How’d you get out of your room?! I locked the door!

     Walda: *smirks*

     Angie: Um, Maldice, look...

     ---To everyone’s horror, the door to Walda’s room has been completely torn off the hinges and smashed to pieces.---

     Maldice: *grits teeth* WALDA!!! YOU BRAT!!! YOU’RE EVEN WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!!!

     Ella: Don’t tell me that Walda did that...

     Maldice: Of course she did, smart one!

     Walda: *grins* I broke it down with my bare fists!!!

     Christine: Walda, that isn’t something to be proud of...

     Angie: *sigh* Getting her to a maximum strength boost was a HUGE mistake.

     Walda: Anyway, what’s this globe? *picks up globe*

     Maldice: Hey, that’s mine! Put it down.

     Walda: *smiles devilishly* Really?! Well, if it’s yours, then it’s going bye-bye!

     ---Walda purposely drops the snowglobe onto the hard kitchen floor, and it shatters into a million pieces.---

     Christine: *sigh* There go hundreds of thousands of Neopoints...

     Maldice: *scowls* YOU BRAT!!!

     Ella: *exasperated* Walda, go play on the swingset!

     Walda: Um, okay.

     Maldice: *escorts Walda outside* Here. The weather is warming up. Go play outside instead of taunting us and destroying our property.

     Ella: I’ll supervise her! *walks outside*

     ---Maldice walks back in, and Angie is sweeping up the pieces of glass.---

     Angie: *sigh* Is every baby this poorly behaved?

     Maldice: Not even CLOSE...

      ---Illusen Frosted Cupcake---

      Christine: Would you like a tasty treat? Look no further. This one includes---Hold up. Where did my cupcake go?

     Angie: There’s an empty wrapper on the floor...

     Christine: Then somebody clearly ate it... *stern look* Who was it?!

     Maldice: WALDA clearly ate it!!! Any of us would’ve thrown the wrapper in the trash!

     Christine: That makes sense.

     Maldice: Did it contain chocolate?!

     Christine: *sigh* Yes...

     Maldice: Then THAT explains her rotten behaviour which was even WORSE than usual!

     Angie: We seriously need an iron safe for the chocolate in this house...

     Maldice: She’d find some way to break that, too, with her maximum strength boost and her Battledome weapons...

      ---Illusen on Physics---

      Walda: *walks inside* The swings are boring!

     Ella: Yeah, she got bored from swinging after a while.

     Maldice: Are you done being an absolute MONSTER?!

     Walda: I’m not a monster, you MEANIE! I fight REAL monsters in the Battledome!

     Christine: Anyway, Walda, how about scoring another point toward that Neopian Book Award you hope to get someday?

     Walda: You bought me another book? *grabs book and starts reading* This is even more boring than the swingset, and makes no sense at all!

     Angie: Judging by Illusen’s face on the cover, you’re not the only one who’s confused...

     ---The book doesn’t disappear.---

     Maldice: Walda, did you actually read the whole thing? Books in Neopia don’t disappear until you finish them. Christine was nice enough to buy you yet ANOTHER book, so don’t cut corners.

     Christine: Nah, she read it. It’s the loyal user perk in effect. It looks like I can sell this and make my money back!

     Angie: Really?! Wow, it’s your lucky day! That book couldn’t have been cheap...

     Walda: Once you get your money back, I want you to buy me a giant statue made of solid chocolate. No hollow chocolate---

     Maldice: *glares at Walda* NO!!!

      ---Illusen Strawberry Perfume---

      Walda: *sniffs bottle* This smells amazing!

     ---Walda sprays an excessive amount of perfume all over her body.---

     Maldice: That is WAY too much perfume! You’re going to absolutely REEK!

     Walda: But I like---OWWWW!!! It burns!

     Christine: Why would it burn?!

     Ella: *sigh* My guess is that her skin got irritated when Maldice dragged her across the carpet...

     Maldice: That explains it.

     Ella: *turns to Maldice* So stop doing that!

     Maldice: So I should let her destroy the whole house?!

     ---Meanwhile, Christine is helping Walda rinse off the perfume with plenty of water.---

     Walda: That feels better. I still smell delicious, too!

     Ella: Good, Maybe, once your skin is healed, you can use a reasonable amount of that perfume.

     Walda: Is there a perfume that smells like chocolate?

     Maldice: Yes. You can use that instead of eating chocolate and going off on a sugar rush. Good idea!

     Walda: How about both?

     Maldice: NO!!!

      ---Conclusion---

      Christine: As you may have gathered, these items can be very enjoyable to own and use---

     Maldice: Yeah, if you don’t have a bratty baby ruining all the fun!

     Walda: Stop calling me a brat, you meanie!

     Christine: Walda, you were... NOT well-behaved, to say the least. Anyway, what was everyone’s favourite item? Mine was the perfume.

     Maldice: The snowglobe... Too bad the brat wrecked it ON PURPOSE!!! *scowls*

     Walda: That’s what you get for calling me a brat all the time!

     Ella: My favourite was the bean bag... Too bad that’s ruined, too. I could have made good use of it... I really do need a rest sometimes!

     Angie: My favourite was anything but that perfume. I never want to smell perfume again after that fiasco at the Grooming Parlour! (Neopian Times Issue 754---The Perfumed Plight of a Posh Princess)

     Ella: Walda, what was your favourite?

     Maldice: Ella, what do you think?!

     Ella: Oh, yeah... The cupcake.

     Walda: I want another cupcake!

     Maldice: NO!!!

     Walda: GIMME ANOTHER CUPCAKE, YOU MEANIE!!!

     Maldice: You’re not getting anything, you brat!

     ---Walda begins to throw another tantrum.---

     Ella: *glares at Maldice* You are NOT going to drag her. I forbid it!

     Christine: I’ll distract her with this cheap piñata I got from my daily visit to that Grundo plushie in Faerieland. today. *turns to Walda* Look, Walda! A beautiful Kau Piñata! Such pretty, vibrant colours...

     Walda: *smirks* Great! Now I can bust it open and get some candy! *smashes piñata*

     Maldice: ...And the cycle continues. She’ll just go off on another sugar rush.

     Christine: We’ll worry about it when it happens. Until next time, dear readers!