Character Re-Introduction(?): Chet Flash

     “Who is he? What is he? It’s not very clear;

     All we ever know of him is that Chet Flash wuz here”

     When reading the Neopian Times you may have noticed on the top left corner, just above the Home and Archives buttons, there’s a small phrase that changes whenever you move to a new page or refresh. Normally they’re silly messages such as “A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll!”, “There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots”, and “Preparing Neopia for the Meepits”. However, occasionally one will come up simply stating “Chet Flash wuz here”. Now that I bring it up, you’re probably wondering “who is Chet Flash”? The answer to that is not a simple one. Ask any veteran player and they’ll say they know of Chet Flash, but no one knows what he does or even what he looks like. And now, if recent news is to be believed, we may never know.

     “Flash has gone away”. We’ve all heard about it and seen the effects of its removal. But it wasn’t until now have I realized that it wasn’t referring to some kind of ambiguous force but rather to Chet Flash! Chet Flash was leaving Neopia, if he hasn’t already, and we’re just now learning the full extent of what he truly did for us all. By now he should have left, but with a few areas around Neopia which have been affected by his absence starting to come back, there are rumours that he may too be back. Not knowing how long he’s staying, I begin my quest to find Chet Flash by investigating the parts of Neopia he apparently had a hand in.

     THE GAMES ROOM

     Roo Island has been the place hit the hardest with the disappearance of Flash. Ever since the Games Room had been moved to Roo Island it has been its biggest attraction, but when Flash went away all games that needed their own screen no longer worked. It’s why at first I thought “Flash” was some kind of ambiguous force: why would it vanishing suddenly make all these games stop working? But now it makes sense: it was Chet Flash all along. I think no one can explain it better than our first guest interview:

     King Roo (Ruler of Roo Island, Manager of the Games Room)

     “Look at all these unplayable games, have you ever seen a sadder sight? Oh, I’m sorry, it’s just seeing the Games Room this empty and quiet makes my heart drop to my stomach. Why did Chet Flash have to leave? You see these machines; “arcade cabinets” as we call them? After many years of them being here, Neopians have gotten used to them. Compared to the other machines don't they feel more advanced; like something you’d more see on the Virtupets Space Station? That is the doing of Flash. He knew how to build these machines and, while he did not make the games, he allowed others to use his invention to share their vision and joy.

     When I heard Flash was going away at first I was saddened; though I never met him we did share some correspondence and it was always a treat when a new game machine was rolled in. However, never did I expect all this. The games were up one moment, down in the next; I had a crew working day and night to figure out what has happened. Best we can guess is that the power to the machines was cut off, likely something that was being monitored by Flash, but with him gone it went down and that’s the end of that. We don’t know enough about the machines to replace the power; Flash was generous but also didn’t like us poking around his work. But there is some good news and hope for the future. A few weeks ago we got a new batch of arcade cabinets. They weren’t new games, but they work! The supplier promised more will be coming, so in the meantime, I’m having the Games Room renovated to meet with some new building standards.”

     Curious about the new arcade cabinets, I went to the only area in the Games Room that has any activity. I was given permission to look inside the cabinet as long as I didn’t touch things. I was familiar enough with Virtupets technology to know what a circuit board was so carefully examined the components. They were all similar to the ones inside a Flash-made cabinet I checked, but one thing caught my eye: where as a Flash-made cabinet would have his trademark “Chet Flash wuz here” tag, these cabinets had a tag made of five capital letters: H, T, M, L, and I think is a fancy S. At first I thought it was a serial number, but all the new cabinets I checked had the same letters. Someone’s initials whose name is five words? The letters of the first or last names of a group of five? Or maybe the abbreviation of an organization? Whatever the case being, it was clear Chet Flash wasn’t here so I moved on.

     THE NC MALL (& CUSTOMISATION)

     As I was leaving the Games Room, I heard a nearby commotion from a gathering of Neopets. They were examining their friends clothing, excited that they were fitting on correctly again. While I said the Games Room was the hardest hit, that wasn’t completely true. The NC Mall too was essentially shut down without Flash, and with it customisation. Overnight every Neopets’ clothing suddenly stopped fitting correctly; some becoming too baggy while others magically popped off having grown too small. However, unlike the Games Room, the NC Mall has been quick to start recovering with occasional updates about which Species clothes have been fixed and what clothes can be worn once more. OF COURSE! If Chet Flash was anywhere he’d probably be frequently the NC Mall helping with the fixes! I rushed to the NC Mall, which was still jam-packed, but was able to squeeze in an interview with the NC Mall’s public face:

     NC Mall Mascot (NC Mall’s... Owner? Representative? #1 Fan?)

     “An unbelievable few weeks it has been, never would I have thought the NC Mall would go through as tough as times as these. Many would think it was some kind of Faerie magic that made all the wearables work, but that should have been quickly disproven when all the Faeries were petrified yet the NC Mall remained unaffected. No, it was a magic of a different sort, mathematical magic, and the math wizard behind it is a good friend of mine, even if we never met face-to-face: Chet Flash. I don’t know if I would even call it magic, even if it seems like it to me. Flash once tried explaining how he made wearables work, writing long letters about logistics and algorithms. I understood the words but couldn’t wrap my head around how he got them working together. But in the end he did, and one could say all of customisation was being powered by Flash alone. Though thinking about it, maybe it was.

     As soon as Flash was gone everything stopped. Clothes returned to their default size, backgrounds returned to being just pictures instead of small worlds you could step into, Neopets couldn’t get a good grasp on trinkets that once fit comfortably in their hands, and garlands and other decorations fell to the floor no longer being supported by what Flash was doing. It would have been a complete disaster, end of the NC Mall and customisation as we knew it, but weeks before Chet Flash left some new math wizards came and looked over Flash’s writings. And when everything went down, they swooped in and got things working again! Not everything of course, but they do have all of Flash’s notes and send in patches to be attached to wearables every few days. Little by little we get closer to full function and, to our esteemed customers, that means full fashion! Now everyone be warned that some wearables may not be coming back due to lack of popularity, but that just means we’ll have more room for new popular wearables!”

     I stopped the interview before it turned into a commercial for the NC Mall. Curious about the patches, the NC Mall Mascot told me every wearable had a hidden tag where Flash’s work was written. Helping to show me how to view these tags after promising not to mess with them, I went around to the various departments of the NC Mall and began examining the tags. The NC Mall Shopkeepers had made things easier by separating the wearables that weren’t working from the ones which were. It was the same story in each store: the non-working wearables had their tags etched with “Chet Flash wuz here”; the working wearables had H, T, M, L, and S. A dead end, if Chet Flash was somewhere in Neopia I’d have to start thinking outside the box.

     NEOHOME 2.0

     Or maybe I should be thinking inside a different kind of box! There was one department in the NC Mall where nothing was working: Neohomes! They only sold furniture and accessories for Neohome 2.0, which too went down when Flash left. “Classic” Neohomes were oddly unaffected, so thankfully when everyone’s Neohome 2.0 security system locked them out no one was left homeless. Still, why was one affected but not the other? Last I heard things had gotten so mixed up that there were rumours of Neohomes 2.0 not returning. I don’t put much attention to rumours (except when I do), and now was one of those times. Things were so mixed up there are rumours of it closing? It doesn’t sound like this H, T, M, L, and S group had gotten involved with Neohomes 2.0, leaving the only one that can help them being Chet Flash! Thankfully through the NC Mall’s Neohomes department there was a shortcut to the Neohomes 2.0’s main agency in Neopia Central. And like any agency trying to sell you something, I had no trouble finding someone wanting to talk my ear off:

     Neohome 2.0 Sales Agent

     “Hello! I believe we sent out a statement earlier today so I understand if you haven’t heard the news or thought it was a rumour. Due to the departure of Flash, Neohome 2.0 can no longer operate and we are in the midst of closing. I’m sorry for this terrible inconvenience, we are doing everything in our power to assure your time and investment hasn’t gone to waste. Also, be assured that Classic Neohomes are fully operational and will be unaffected by the current situation.

     What is the difference between Neohome 2.0 and Classic Neohomes? Wonderful question with a simple answer! Neohome 2.0 is powered by Flash, Classic Neohomes aren’t. To build a Classic Neohome you had to find a space for it in the land you wanted to live in, if that land is even available. Neohome 2.0 on the other hand uses Flash to create the space you would live in. That is why Neohome 2.0 offers more lands to build a home in, it takes little space on the outside but inside you can make it as big as you want to!... According to your budget.

     So, what happened to Neohome 2.0? The amazing space warping architecture was a construction of Chet Flash whom this power is named after... assumingly. He wanted to revolutionize Neohomes; allow anyone to build their home anywhere and not worry about space. While we sold the properties, he knew how it all worked and kept it going... until he left. Without Flash to run the space warping, emergency protocols activated. Security systems forced out any residents inside their Neohome 2.0 and locked the doors shut to keep the pocket space inside the Neohome 2.0 in an unchanging state. Everything inside the Neohome 2.0 is fine and we’re doing everything in our power to move everyone’s furniture back into their Storage Shed. Meanwhile, if you have any furniture in your Storage Shed that hadn’t been put into your Neohome 2.0, please collect it.

     But all is not lost! In our statement, we were proud to announce new plans for a Neohome 3.0!... Name and patent pending. No longer leaving the operation of your Neohome in the hands of one person, the next innovation in Neohomes will be under the control of a group with similar capabilities but aren’t so keen on getting up and disappearing. It will take us some time to transition over, so please bear with us and look forward to any and all news and announcements we’ll have to share.”

     The mentioning of a new group taking over Neohome 2.0’s successor made me give a knowing sigh. Sure enough, the new group was H, T, M, L, and S. No point going to check on any Neohome 2.0 if they’re all locked down, and H, T, M, L , and S hadn’t started their Neohome project. I was shown some contracts made with the Neohomeowner Association, nothing out of the ordinary aside Chet Flash’s signature being “Chet Flash wuz here” and H, T, M, L , and S’s signature looking more like it was made with a rubber stamp.

     DAILIES

     While not the biggest thing affected, the most noticeable were a few dailies (quick features which were small mini-games that rewarded prizes for playing them) no longer operating. Qasalan Expellibox’s tubes were stuffed, Kiko Pop’s wheel wouldn’t spin or the balloons wouldn’t inflate, and scratchcards from the Lost Desert Kiosk weren’t revealing their spaces. However the hardest hit of the Dailies were those in Haunted Wood’s Deserted Fairgrounds. Test Your Strength, Coconut Shy, Bagatelle, and Cork Gun Gallery all shuttered their stands unable to get their daily going. Not everyone is gone though, aside from the Shops there was still the Wheel of Misfortune and Fairgrounds Scratchcards still open. At first, I wanted to ask the Wheel of Misfortune’s host some questions as the wheel looked to have been renovated (perhaps by Chet Flash... or maybe H, T, M, L, and S?) but with them nowhere in sight (I thought I saw a Gelert’s shadow but must have been my imagination), I went to the only daily host left:

     Sidney (Owner of Deserted Fairground Scratchcards)

     “Yesssss, heisssn’t it a pity my ssscratchcardsss and the wheel are the only onesssss left, hehehehehe.”

     (For reader’s convenience, I’ve removed any additional extensions of the letter “s”)

     “I was minding my kiosk when I got a sudden surge of customers. I’m not one to complain about more suckers... I mean business, but the uproar they brought with them was louder than I like. They were all complaining about the other daily stands so I went to investigate, not like I was going to lose customers when I’m the only daily in town, hehehe. I checked with Arnold first and his Test Your Strength tower was defying physics: you hit the plank but the weight didn’t go up! Meanwhile, Leeroy was having a problem with shy coconuts over at Coconut Shy as the poles weren’t resetting when the curtains closed. I then heard frustrated yells and kicking of wood from Bagatelle; Harker couldn’t get the Mootix to go all the way down the board as they hung onto the pegs or crawled off to the side. I barely dodged a cork as Lyanka was trying to fix the cork guns for her Cork Gun Gallery which had suddenly stopped firing. Finally, the Wheel of Misfortune also stopped working at that time, when you tried to spin it an earsplitting shriek was released and would suddenly stop before it made at least one full rotation.

     It’s the fault of Flash. All of them heard about this new mathemagics, or whatever they called it, from a Chet Flash they could use to better manipulate... I mean maintain their daily and quickly setup for the next customer. I didn’t need to turn my daily over to Flash, give me old fashion scratching each square one at a time, thank you very much! But everyone else was so busy thinking about what they COULD do, they didn’t think what they SHOULD do, hehehe. And now, Flash is gone, and with him everything he was handling. My fellow daily hosts had to lock up their stands and head home until they knew what to do next.

     While the boon to business has been nice, change is on the horizon. As you see, the Wheel of Misfortune has returned with thankfully less shrieking. And a few weeks ago I saw Arnold, Leeroy, Harker, and Lyanka showing some strange figures their stands; and being from the Haunted Woods you should know if I'm calling someone strange they raise eyebrows. I of course asked who they were, got no names in return, but instead a business card with letters that even Eliv Thade would have a hard time turning into an anagram. They’re “here to help” I was told, them pointing to the Wheel of Misfortune as proof of their work. We shall see, I’m no Wanderer, if I was I’d know which of my scratchcards were winners, win the jackpot, and retire to Mystery Island, hhehehe.”

     Coming across a skeleton key that totally wasn’t given to me by Sidney, I entered the backdoor to the closed daily stands and looked for a specific spot that wasn’t told to me by Sidney. As expected, “Chet Flash wuz here” was written on each one. Running over to the Wheel of Misfortune, it was harder not to get spotted but I was able to sneak behind the wheel where I saw the letters on the card Sidney received and I’ve been seeing everywhere else: H, T, M, L and S. And it was not just the Wheel of Misfortune, before coming to the Haunted Woods I had stopped in Tyrannia and Faerieland to spin their wheels and their hosts were kind enough to show they too were powered by H, T, M, L and S now too. While I gathered my thoughts, I felt a sudden claw on my shoulder and was soon thrown back to near the entrance of the Deserted Fairgrounds. I’ve apparently made something mad, and when you make something mad in the Haunted Woods, you better start running out of the Haunted Woods.

     PLOT & EVENT COMICS:

     Luckily getting away from the Haunted Woods wasn’t a problem as my next destination was over the mountains (or rather through the mountain tunnel) to Altador, more specifically the Altador Archives. It’s not just modern features that have been lost; Neopia’s past has also been impacted by the disappearance of Flash. Though these past plots and events can no longer be participated in, the stories which they told were preserved in comic form made by Flash and copies sent to several institutes such as the Altador Archives. Though important, they aren’t as high priority as the features used every day so no word on their restoration progress. Seems like one place H, T, M, L, and S have turned a blind eye too... but maybe not Chet Flash? There’s only one Lenny to ask about that:

     Finneus (Archive Keeper of the Altador Archives)

     “And here I was convinced that the Flash comics were the best way to store the stories, I should of known they were too good to last. Call me a fuddy duddy if you’ll like, but originally I wasn’t for the comics. Give me a well-written scroll or book any day. But I can’t argue that illustrations do make visualizing locations and actions easier than with words alone. That’s when Chet Flash got involved, suggesting over letters an innovative way to present the comics. Instead of having the dialogue boxes always present on the image, instead the page was just the images and when you examined a panel it jumped out, the other images went dark, and the dialogue boxes appeared around the active panel. It allowed for more text to be stored while also not covering up the illustrations; it certainly made me turn my opinion around when I saw it in action.

     But now comes the part where Flash leaves. The “best” scenario that happened was we were just left a page of images, the hidden dialogue unable to be activated though we at least still had the illustrations. The worst was when the effect broke and all the dialogue boxes were made active all at once, piling on each other and blocking the illustrations; it looked terrible. We’re working hard on a resolution to this problem; many are trying to re-activate the comic’s effect though I say just re-write the whole story in good ol’ text, hmph. Either case, rest assured that the comics are still intact; just not working properly. Meanwhile, if you want to read the stories, I’ve heard some “new jelly” fans have made their own archives that work without need of Flash. I would also like to mention that the telescope in the Hall of Heroes’ Observatory is also no longer working, robbing everyone of the beautiful Altador night sky and the twelve constellations!”

     I had completely forgotten about the Observatory’s telescope. Finneus explained they had used Flash to help create a clearer star map and that you were able to trace the constellations directly on it. Now it only showed darkness. I was allowed to check both the archived comics and telescope for the expected “Chet Flash wuz here” tag (hidden as a watermark on comic pages, engraved on the rim of the lens’ tube casing on the telescope). I asked Finneus about the H, T, M, L, and S group and, though he heard of them through his colleagues trying to fix the comics, has no idea if they were successful in contacting them. Sad news for the plot and event comics, but possibly good news for me as the further away I get from H, T, M, L, and S the closer I could be getting to Chet Flash.

     ADVENT CALENDAR ANIMATIONS:

     Though I was getting away from H, T, M, L, and S’s influence, I wasn’t any closer to finding Chet Flash. There was one more location left where Flash had a big involvement even though Neopians only paid attention to it for one month out of the whole year: The Advent Calendar. Before getting our daily gifts, we’re treated to a quick animated story related to the gifts we’re about to receive. No one is quite sure how they get some of the stories they do, but for many years the animations have kept us entertained and originally you could watch all the past animations in the Advent Calendar Archives. As you might have guessed by now, that is no longer the case as the animations were powered by Flash. It would be a major loss if they weren’t recovered as they aren’t as well-recorded as the plot & event comics, and there’s something different about seeing an animation than looking at an image and reading text. The Advent Calendar is a community run project and the project leader has changed several times, but there is one character who I can ask questions to:

     Advent Calendar’s Christmas Aisha (Yearlong informer of the Advent Calendar not being open)

     “Oops! It isn't the month of Celebrating... so there isn't anything to give away.”

     (I explain to the Aisha I’m here to investigate the animations and Chet Flash)

     “Is Chat Flash back!? Since he left the Archives have been showing nothing but blank screens!”

     (The Aisha takes me to the back where there are several projectors setup, each with an advent calendar from a different year attached to it)

     “Normally all you needed to do was go to the projector with the Advent Calendar year you wanted and pressed the day number to watch it’s animation. Yeah, Flash would help from afar with setting up the new animations and that year’s projector, but no one ever touched the older projectors. I thought we would be okay with him going away because of that, but once he did every animation starting coming up blank! How they film the animations is top secret; I definitely wouldn’t know as my job standing here starts on the first of the month of Sleeping and on the last day of the month of Storing. But I do know Flash doesn’t have any more involvement than providing us with a way to make the animations and show them off every month of Celebrating day.

     I don’t know what we’re going to do for this month of Celebrating. I heard there’s this other group with skills similar to Chet Flash helping the other parts of Neopia affected by Flash’s departure get up and running. We don’t really begin planning for Advent Calendar until around the months of Relaxing and Swimming so there’s still time, I guess. But that’s not going to fix the current issue, and would that also fix the old animations or will that have to be another project? I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t have many answers, all I can anreally do for now is mention there were some “new jelly” fans who have been able to preserve the animations, but obviously it would be better if we’d fixed the Archives so you could watch them all right here.”

     I fiddled with a few of the projectors pressing several days, each one flashing up a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it “Chet Flash wuz here” message before “playing” a blank animation. And with that, no Chet Flash, and all my possible leads have dried up. Maybe getting off the track of H, T, M, L, and S was a mistake, or maybe I shouldn’t have believed desperate rumours of Flash coming back. Whatever the case may be, at least I got a story of the effects of Flash’s absence and someone possibly filling the void. Month of Running is coming to an end and month of Eating is about to start up, so it’s about time that this APRIL’S FOOL wrapped this article up.