 A Brynnso Christmas 10-Year Anniversary Special!
by rielcz
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The following is a script commissioned by Queen Fyora herself in her attempt to entertain her citizens during the cold wintry Faerieland months (and distract them from her nation’s various woes). After their contractually obligated off-year, Hanso and Brynn return to the stage in the Hidden Tower, where Christmas-themed plays are considered a staple around this time of year. Thus, the “Faerieland Acting Club Representing Years 24-27,” with lead sponsor “The Faerieland Wintertime Society”, with an artistic grant awarded to Fyora through Neopia World Enterprises, Inc., present, “A Brynnso Christmas 10-Year Anniversary Special!” *** Set: A holiday-decorated log-cabin style Neohome decked with colourful garland and tinsel. A wall is missing, allowing an audience to peer in. A door is to the left for guests to enter/exit. A fireplace is to the centre-left, its immersive and enthralling glow making the viewers feel warmth even if watching at a distance. Atop the mantle are pine needles and Christmas cards. On the right is a grandiose Christmas tree, covered in decorations and glowing lights. Presents line the tree’s base. On the right wall is a window, snow falling on the other side, making the warmth inside feel cosier. Christmas-themed music plays as an intro. The door opens. In walks Brynn. (Crowd applause) Brynn: (excitedly) Hiya everyone! It’s me, Brynn! Welcome one and all to a very special star-studded event... the 10-Year Anniversary of A Brynnso Christmas Special! (Crowd applause and hooting) Brynn wipes a tear from her eye. Brynn: Thank you, thank you. It’s so hard to believe Hanso and I started here back in Y15! (Crowd applause) Brynn: Speaking of Hanso... where could my Ixi be? Brynn briefly searches the set. (Crowd calls out places Hanso might be) Brynn: (curiously) Behind the Christmas tree? Hmm... Brynn looks behind the tree. Hanso falls through the roof. (Crowd gasps) Hanso: (pouting) Here I thought I should try to repair some of the holes left in the roof from last year, so no snow gets in. (sighing) I guess I’m not as much of a handyman as I thought. Brynn: (caringly) It’s OK, I love you anyway. (conspiratorially) And the snow outside isn’t real. Brynn and Hanso hug. (Crowd laughter and “aww!”) Brynn faces the audience. Brynn: Anyway, take a look beneath your seats for a special gift, courtesy of The Faerieland Wintertime Society and Neopia World Enterprises, Inc.... A Seasonal Attack Pea! (Crowd gasps and clamour to get their prize) Brynn: (laughing) Kidding! Heckler (off-stage): Boo! Too soon! Hanso: (master of insults) Yo momma let youse face out too soon! “Ba-dum-tiss” from the band is heard. Hanso: Give it up for our house band! (Crowd laughter and applause) Brynn holds up a Christmas tree star-topper with Brynnso’s faces etched in one side and “Happy 10 years!” handwritten on the other side. Brynn: Y’all actually get one of these! Hanso: (proudly) Either Brynn or myself signed every one! (Crowd applause) Immediately, there is a knocking at the door. Hanso: (excitedly) Is that our first of 10 guests already!? Brynn: (concerned) There’d better not be 10 guests, even for our 10th Anniversary Special. I could never handle all that craziness and singing! (Crowd laughter) Hanso opens the door. Mirsha and Ginia are revealed. Hanso: (feigning surprise) Team Shenkuu all-star Mirsha Grelinek and her Team Shenkuu coach girlfriend, Ginia!? Hanso winks to the audience. (Crowd applause) Brynn: (grinning) Welcome, welcome! What are you doing out in the wintry world of Faerieland? Mirsha: (matter-of-factly) We just finished an away game practice against your Yooyuball team. Brynn: Ah, not much relaxing in the Yooyuball off-season? Mirsha: (jestingly) Well, playing Team Faerieland is never stressful. “Ba-dum-tiss” from the band is heard. Band leader: (annoyed) Hey wait, I’m Team Faerieland. I’m offended! (Crowd laughter) Brynn: I live here now but I’m a Team Brightvale cheerleader at heart. Hanso: I mean, I’d be OK with you being one of the Team Brightvale cheerleaders. Brynn gives Hanso a flirtatious smile. (Crowd laughter) Ginia hugs Mirsha. Ginia: I’d like to think I’m Mirsha’s biggest cheerleader. (Crowd “Aww!”) Brynn retrieves a present, wrapped in Faerie Yooyu paper, from under the Christmas tree. Brynn: (excitedly) We have a gift for you two... but first you have to show us some amazing feat! Hanso: Do something cool! (Crowd chants, “Do something cool!”) Ginia: (grinning) Maneuver 36-alpha! Ginia produces a Snow Yooyu from her backpack. Ginia: Go Frostflake! Ginia tosses Frostflake to Mirsha. Mirsha catches and tosses him/her back, and a fierce game of catch ensues, the intensity increasing with each throw. The band plays a sporty theme. (Crowd “Ooh!”) James the Moehog Intern walks on stage, carefully avoiding the catch game. Hanso: It’s James the Intern! ‘Sup James? James: (disgruntled) Hey, I was promoted to SENIOR Intern and I would like to be addressed as such! Hanso: (apologetically) Senior Intern, you got it. (Crowd laughter) James produces a giant tarp with a bullseye on it and gives it to Hanso. James: (grinning) Leftover from some target practice training for this season’s Faerie Arts Academy freshwomen. I think this could make for a dramatic end to the catch game! Hanso and Brynn exchange enthusiastic glances as James walks off-stage. Mirsha and Ginia are still playing catch; Mirsha catches a fly ball. Hanso and Brynn each take a side of the tarp and hold it up. Brynn: (cantabile) Mirshaaa, how about you show us how accurate you are in your finishing move? Mirsha: (determinedly) I would be delighted! Ginia puts away Frostflake and takes out the fire Yooyu. Ginia: Go Flame! Ginia tosses Flame to Mirsha, who deftly catches her. As the band plays a drumroll, Mirsha lines up her shot and throws the Yooyuball. It is so hot and fast that it goes right through the bullseye and hits the Christmas tree, lighting it on fire and knocking it over. (Crowd applause and screaming) James walks on stage with an extinguisher and after much chaos puts all the fires out. Hanso: You... sure showed us something! But it was less cool, and more hot. (Crowd laughter) Mirsha and Ginia work to put the somewhat singed tree upright, and to redecorate it with baubles that fell off when the tree fell. Ginia: (in a soft soprano) Sure life gets chaotic / Sometimes trees get knocked down / But we all stand together / To offer a helping hand! The band plays a soft melody. Mirsha: (in loud alto) I’m on the set with Brynnso / With my girl, on the town / If we all help each other / They’ll be peace through the land! Hanso, Brynn, and James help and soon the tree looks proper again. James goes off-stage. (Crowd “aww!”) Brynn: Thanks you two! It’s so true, part of Christmas is lending a helping hand. You’ve definitely earned your gift. Brynn gives the present to Mirsha, who opens it to reveal workout headbands, one Hanso-themed and the other Brynn-themed. Mrisha: Wow! I love them. Mirsha dons the Brynn headband. Ginia: Me too! I’ll wear mine every time I coach... Under my Team Shenkuu headband, of course. Ginia dons the Hanso headband. The four hug each other. (Crowd applause) Hanso: (filled with charismatic innocence) Oh, before you go, I enjoyed licking you, Mirsha. Mirsha: (uncertain) I’m sure I’d have remembered a lick from you, Hanso. Ginia: (competitively) I’m sure I would have, too. Ginia balls a paw into a fist and punches the palm of her other paw in a vaguely threatening manner. Brynn observes this and does likewise. (Crowd laughter) Hanso: (unable to contain his laughter) No... I licked your stamp form just before I put it in my album! Brynn, Mirsha, and Ginia: (bemusedly) Ohhhh, Hanso. (Crowd laughter and hooting) Ginia: Anyway, it’s probably time we get back to Shenkuu. Mirsha: (sheepishly) And sorry about your tree. Hanso: (shrugging) Don’t be sorry to us... the bill goes to Fyora. (Crowd laughter) Mirsha and Ginia: Bye everyone! Brynn and Hanso: Bye, stay warm! Mirsha and Ginia exit the set. (Crowd applause) Hanso shuts the door. Hanso: Thank Fyora, I thought they’d never leave. Brynn: Yooyuball players are generally FAR more trouble than they’re worth. Hanso: At least our producer didn’t get Motor Dahy. (Crowd laughter) There is a knocking at the door. Hanso: (exasperated) Another guest already? Hanso opens the door. Hannah is revealed. Hanso: (excitedly) Hannah!? Hannah leaps inside. (Crowd applause) Hannah: (grinning) ‘Tis me! The most famous adventurer ‘round Neopia. Brynn: AND it's only moon. Hannah: (conspiratorially) It’s the only moon discovered thus far. (Crowd “ooh!”) Hanso: (casually) You were on our 4th Christmas special if memory serves? Hannah: Aye, I was! Hanso: (grinning) Welcome back! Hanna unsheathes a cutlass. Hannah: (determinedly) Shall I challenge you to another battle of insults on this Han-Han Hour? Hanso backs away slowly. Hanso: (nervously) Actually, after Mirshnia’s visit, I think I’m gonna take a breather during your bit. (Crowd laughter) Hannah faces Brynn. Hannah: Do I want to know? Brynn: No, you don’t. (with growing excitement) But in that case, sister, how about you and I catch up this time? Brynn and Hannah hug. Hanso: (curiously) How far back do you two go? Brynn: (grinning) Way back! Since my Brightvale Academy days. Hannah: Ye, I’d left the Tavern, and me treasure huntin’ took me to Brightvale. I encountered Brynneth as a guard, and we hit it off. Hanso: (casually) I have some history with your husband, too, Hannah. Hannah: (laughing) History? More like bad blood! (Crowd laughter) Brynn: So how is it to be the public face and spokeswoman for the Daily Quests? Hannah: (semi-sarcastically) Royalties are the real treasure. Haven’t felt this much like a pirate since me Krawk Island days. (Crowd laughter) Brynn: Fyora still sends Hanso and I out on the odd artefact job. Recently, she’s had us investigate some items in connection to Vira... (Crowd “Ooh!”) Brynn walks to the Christmas tree and retrieves a present wrapped in sparkly gold paper. Brynn: But enough about me. (merrily) A gift for you! Hannah: (satisfied) Brynneth, ye be too kind to an ole’ treasure hunter like me... ye should’ve let me go and find the present meself! Brynn: (charmingly) It’s not THAT easy. You need to show us all an amazing skill! Hanso: Yeah! Show us something nifty! (Crowd chants, “Do something nifty!”) Hannah: (thinking) Hmm... I could juggle diamonds... no, I left those in me other adventurin’ clothes. I could do the tap routine I used to do with Armin... but it doesn’t really work with just one Neopian. I can hold me breath for 10 minutes, but we’re surrounding by snow, not water... The band plays a slow introduction. Hannah: (in a regal alto) Oh since I was but a wee girl / I’ve dreamed of an adventure, grand! / Of explorin’ round all the world / And seein’ treasure firsthand! / I worked for years as a barmaid / And grew so weary, tired, and pained / Me life needed a real upgrade / And me spirit, she’d not be contained! The music turns jaunty as Hannah dances around the stage. Hanso and Brynn clap in rhythm. Hannah: (the notes periodically rising and then lowering) I went out on a treasure hunt! / And found oh so oh so much more! / I sailed the seven Neo-seas / And got what I was searching for! / Explorin’ caves with all me might / I realized me passion then! / The world had finally felt right! / When high on that adrenaline! (Crowd claps to the rhythm) Hannah: Adventuring would take me to / Some caves so icy icy cold / And there I freed a species who / Were trapped and very very old! / Explorin’ caves with all me might / I realized a passion new! / Adventure was not just for me / But for me friends and others too! Brynn and Hanso: Aww! Hannah: (high alto) Met me best friend through thick and thin! / And even met me husband, too / And without me adventurin’ / I’d not be here with both of you! She goes to hug Brynn and Hanso as the band continues the melody. (Crowd “aww!”) Hannah: (mid-alto) The treasure’s nice, the jewels divine / Kreludor was quite the pleasure! / While I’ll ever love adventure fine / The friends I’ve made are the real treasure! The band concludes the jaunty melody. (Crowd applause) Hanso: (beaming) That was so much fun! I’m glad to hear I’m as good as any gemstone! Brynn: (teasingly) Honey, you’re a real diamond in the rough. (Crowd laughter) Brynn picks up the present and hands it to Hannah. Hannah: (curiously) What could this be... She opens it to reveal a pair of roughly cut gemstones: a blue one shaped like Hanso’s head, and a red one shaped like Brynn’s head. Hannah: (squeeing) Oh me gosh, treasure AND friends! Thanks so much, I’ll cherish these forever. They won’t just become two more gems on me giant pile, trust me. (Crowd applause) Hannah: Anyway, it’s been a pleasure, but I’d best be headin’. Hannah walks toward the door. Hanso: (last second) Oh! I didn’t even ask. How’s my old boss doing? Hannah gives him a barely perceptible smile. Hannah: (teasingly) He’s good, I love him, but he would still pull a dagger on ya’, Hanso, next he sees ya’. Hanso instinctively takes a step backwards, and then dashes to hide behind the Christmas tree. Hanso: (filled with his brand of charismatic innocence) I could take him! With Brynn’s help of course. (Crowd laughter) Hannah turns to Brynn. Hannah: (casually) It’s funny we both ended up with thieves, huh? Brynn: (cheesily) They stole our hearts. Hannah: (smoothly) Don’t be coy, we both know us nice girls have a type. (Crowd laughter and hooting) Hannah: (warmly) Happy holidays you two! She holds her present high above her head. Brynn: (smiling) Until next time! Hanso returns to Brynn and Hannah. Hanso: (grinning) Bye Hannah! Say hi to Kanrik for me. Hannah gives them a wave and leaves. (Crowd applause) Hanso: That was fun! Mostly because you dealt with her this time, Brynn. (Crowd laughter) Hanso closes the door. Immediately, there is a knock at the door. Hanso opens it. Ellia is revealed, wearing a very fashionable and flaring chic red dress with white fluffy trim. Brynn: (excitedly) Yaaas queen! Now THAT is a Christmas outfit! Hanso gapes and admires Ellia’s outfit. Ellia swaggers in and lowers her starry sunglasses. Ellia: (coyly) My eyes are up here, Hanso. (Crowd cheering and hooting) Hanso: (sheepishly) Sorry! Hanso looks into her eyes, and then averts his gaze. Hanso: (frightened) Please don’t tell Santa Skeith! Brynn walks over to them. Brynn: (frowning) Tell him what? Hanso: (matter-of-factly) Obviously, she is Mrs. Claus. I don’t want to end up on the naughty list... not again anyway! (Crowd laughter) Ellia gives Brynn a confused look. Brynn: (shrugging) There’s one every year. Just play along. Ellia smiles and nods. (Crowd laughter and applause) Ellia: (regally) Indeed, it is I, Mrs. Claus! And I am here to issue you a stark warning, Hanso, from the big Skeith himself! Hanso watches in nervous excitement. Ellia: If you want to be on the nice list... Hanso: (leaning in) Yeesss? Ellia: (voice almost above a whisper) Take Brynn out for a nice supper and show her a sweet night on the town. She’s a good girl and you’re lucky to have her. Ellia and Brynn exchange winks. Hanso rushes to shake Ellia’s hand. Hanso: (grinning) Tell Santa Skeith thanks for the advice! But, that’s easy, I adore this woman. Hanso wraps an arm around Brynn. (Crowd “aww”!) Hanso: (whispering) Also, Mrs. Claus, tell him to bring Brynn an outfit like yours for Christmas... as a gift to both her and I. With his characteristic grin of charismatic innocence, Hanso admires the outfit and gently elbows Ellia. Ellia: (flatly) Eyes up here, Hanso. Brynn and Ellia: (sighing) Oh, Hanso. Brynn: (cutely) You adore me and annoy me! (Crowd laughter and hooting) Hanso retrieves a gift from under the tree. It has lacy pink wrapping paper. Hanso: (grinning) If you want your gift, you need to show us all an amazing feat! (Crowd chants, “Do something amazing!”) Ellia: (smirking) Don’t worry fam, I know the format. It’s time for some SINGING! The band plays a gentle introduction. Ellia: (spoken word) I do my best to look amazing all year ‘round / To grant my leagues of fashionistas feelings of astound / But if there is a time where I hardest try to slay / That would be with whate’er outfit (sung) I wear Christmas daaayy! The band transitions to an upbeat melody. Ellia: (in roaring falsetto) Christmas is a time for fashion! / To show off to your family and friends! / When extravagance is your passion / The outfits never end! / The wintry world is your runway / And you belong on the tree! / So jump into that sleigh! / Dance wild in the ballet! / And take a design pattern from me! The band plays some heavy bass as Ellia struts across the stage like it’s a runway. Ellia: (rapping) A green dress with flashing lights / Christmas tree is lit! / Add stockings and a little hat / You’ve now an elf ‘fit! / What about a tinsel tux / That sparkles, shines so bright? / (sung) With wreath and holly, oh so jolly / You light up the night! Ellia does a tap-dance and splits as the band plays an outro. (Crowd applause and hooting) Brynn: WOO! Queen, that was so amazing. You really earned your gift. Hanso hands it to Ellia. Ellia opens it, revealing a fancy faux fur red coat with a Brynnso embroidery on the back. Ellia: (squeeing) Oh my gosh you guys! This is so literally cool. Ellia dons the coat. Brynn: A perfect match! Ellia: (grinning) And when I’m not wearing it, I can proudly display it on one of my mannequins in my store! Ellia gives Brynn and Hanso a big hug. Hanso: (mischievously) Also... if you check the bottom of the box, I slipped in a few sugar cookies. Yanno, a little something for your husband, to keep me on the nice list. Ellia releases the hug and frowns as she pulls out a cookie. Hanso gives Ellia a big wink. (Crowd laughter) Ellia: (playfully) Trust me, Hanso, Santa Skeith gets all the sugar he needs from me. Ellia bites the cookie and pats Hanso’s cheek. Hanso blushes. (Crowd laughter and hooting) Ellia: Ta-ta, happy Day of Giving! Ellia waves goodbye and exits. Hanso closes the door. Brynn: (alluringly) Finally this evening we have a very special guest... so special he wanted a formal introduction! Hanso: Aw, not 6 more guests? Brynn: Nooooo... Anyway, he’s the saviour of Neopia Central and CEO of Neopia World Enterprises Inc.! Hanso: Oh that guy! Hanso and Brynn: Mr. Maverick-- Orion barges through the door. Orion: (harried) STOP THE SHOW! (Crowd gasps) Hanso: Wait, you’re not Mr. Maverick. (crossly) Do I need to call security? Brynn rolls up her sleeves. Brynn: (aggressively) No need to call security, I’m already right here. (Crowd laughter and “ooh!”) Orion: (pleadingly) Please, don’t throw me out! I’m here to issue some dire news connected to your hunt for the Vira artefact! Brynn: (sceptically) How did you know we were searching for an artefact associated with Vira? Orion: (gloating) I am Orion O. Ophiuchus, descended from a long line of fortune tellers. (mystically) I have foreseen your search, and using my powers, I traced the dangerous artefact to somewhere very nearby... and coming closer! And trust me, it is very dangerous. Hanso huddles with Brynn. Hanso: (whispering) Brynn, I say we “take care” of him now, or his skills might put us out of work! (Whispering crowd laughter) Brynn: (whispering) Well... if it’s dangerous, it’d be good to find it, so we don’t accidentally set it off! Maybe he’ll be useful? Hanso: (whispering) True... But do you trust him? Brynn: (whispering) Honestly, just barging in, he sketches me out... OK, you distract him. Hanso walks to the other side of the stage and pulls Orion along with him. Hanso: If you’re a fortune teller, how about you tell my fortune? I’m sure a gift can be arranged in return! (Crowd chants, “Do something fortune-y!”) Orion: (hesitantly) We’re in danger but... (grinning) OK, we have time for a quick reading! I have some tarot cards here-- Hanso: (elated) Ooh I love taro root! So tasty. (Crowd laughter) Orion starts the reading as the band plays some mysterious music. Meanwhile, Brynn sneaks up behind Orion, preparing to hit him and knock him out with the blunt hilt of her sword. The music swells to an atonal crescendo as Orion finishes his reading. Orion: According to this, you’re going to see me get knocked out--WAIT! Heckler (off-stage): Watch out! Orion spins around and sees Brynn. She menacingly grins, throws down her sword, and she and Hanso pounce and Warf-pile on Orion. (Uncertain crowd laughter and cheering) Fyora appears at the door and sashays inside. (Crowd applause) Fyora witnesses the scene before her, shakes her head, snaps her fingers, and suddenly Hanso and Brynn are off Orion, and Orion is tied up. Fyora: (frowning) I’m not sure what all that was... but let’s just forget about it and return to the show. Hanso and Brynn: Agreed! Hanso: Thank Fyora for Christmas magic! Fyora smiles. Orion grimaces. Fyora: (regally) Brynnso, I stopped in to show you this. Fyora shows a trinket; it’s round, reflective, and looks like it could explode. Fyora: It’s a replica of the magical mirror artefact that Vira currently has in her possession. Orion: (astutely) A very DANGEROUS artefact! Fyora: Very dangerous indeed... the real thing, anyway. This replica is mostly harmless. Fyora puts the replica away and takes out a tray of Christmas cookies. Fyora: The only dangerous thing I have are these cookies. (unironically) Mira gifted them to me... and their spiciness is out of this world. Hanso and Brynn glare at Orion. Orion grins sheepishly and shrugs the best he can in his binds. Hanso and Brynn: (bemusedly) Ohhhh, Orion. (Crowd hooting) Hanso unties Orion. Brynn takes two singed baubles off the tree, and offers them to Orion. Brynn: (sheepishly) Er... Accept these 10th Anniversary Special props with no hard feelings? Orion glares at Brynn, but then roars with laughter. Orion: (merrily) Merry Christmas, Brynnso! The three Neopets hug. (Crowd applause and “aww!”) Orion: Almost makes me want to burst into song... Almost. (darkly) But not again, not after the last time. (Uncertain crowd applause) Fyora: (relieved) Phew! I’ve dodged all the singing for another year! Fyora fist pumps. (Crowd laughter) Hanso: Now that that’s over, let’s actually bring on Mr. Maverick! (Crowd applause) James comes onstage instead. James: (matter-of-factly) Unfortunately, due to Orion, the producers had to cut Maverick’s bit for time. He left back to Neopia Central. All the characters on stage look at each other and shrug. Hanso: (nervously) So long as Neopia World Enterprises, Inc. doesn’t cut our grant! (Crowd laughter) Brynn: (excitedly) Anyway, that brings us to the end of the 10-Year Anniversary Brynnso Christmas Special! All the guests get back on-stage. James passes around a tray of mugs. All the guests raise a mug of hot chocolate to the audience. Hanso: (endearingly) Cheers to all of you! We would be nothing without our crowd and fans. Here’s to the next 10 years! Everyone except Fyora sings, “We wish you a Merry Day of Giving and a Happy Y26!” as the band plays along. Fyora looks annoyed, but joins in on the last chorus in her regal soprano. Fyora: (bemusedly) Well... I guess that could have been worse. (Crowd applause and laughter) Brynn: (excitedly) On behalf of Hanso, Fyora, all the guests we had this evening, and The Faerieland Wintertime Society... GOOD NIGHT Neopia, and Merry Christmas! Everyone waves to the audience. Christmas-themed music plays as an outro. The End.
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