Food Club: The Pirate Training Regimen

     Some say we have yet to discover a secret training school on Krawk Island. Other’s may point to a pirate’s intense workout raising masts and plundering ships while prowling the seas of Neopia. However, a special group of pirates have a different sort of training: stuffing their bellies with food!

     Introducing: The Food Club

     The food club is a daily betting game on Krawk Island. Each afternoon, pirates line up in five different arenas to see who can eat the most of whatever is on the menu that day. Food club is open to any Neopian to participate and give us a bonus inside peek at the pirates! This article is not about betting, so see these helpful resources if you want to know more: “Food Club: A Guide for Beginners” blobenterprises published in Issue #197.

     Unfortunately, the lives of many of these pirates are quite private (probably for good reason as they would be even grumpier than usual if bothered by the Neo-Paparazzi!) so our primary source of information is the statistics of the 20 food club regulars. In the food club listing page, we can see each pirate’s strength, weight, winning percentage, and food likes and dislikes. Now for the questions!

     Question: Is there a correlation between winning at food club and strength?

     First, we plotted each pirate’s overall winning percentage along with their listed strength. In this case we assumed that their strength represents their overall athletic ability (or how likely they are to win in a fight).

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      In general, win rate increases with strength. Our winningest pirate, Gooblah the Grarrl, who wins a shocking 65% of his matches (at time of publication), is also the strongest pirate at 93 points. Maybe he’s been doing some secret training at the ninja academy? Hopefully, you never have to come face to face with him and find out! While the worst win rates (belonging to Squire Venable and Stuff-a-roo) don’t have the worst strength overall (that honour belongs to Orvinn the First Mate), we would not be betting on either of them to win in a fight.

     What can we take from all this? If a pirate can stuff its face well, it may be able to stuff you with punches well too: avoid a fight with a pirate that can eat a lot.

     Question: Are heavier pirates stronger?

     This is a great question. Chances are you won’t be able to challenge a pirate to a food eating competition before they board your ship and steal your treasure, so maybe you’ll be able to identify the stronger pirates by appearance, right? We compared weight and strength of each pirate to find out.

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     Bad news. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be a strong correlation between weight and strength! The heaviest pirates seem to be the weakest of all (with hefty Orvinn the First Mate leading the charge at 221 lbs). However, the sweet spot with the strongest pirates is only slightly lighter, sitting just under 200 lbs. All those Food Club meals have to go somewhere!

     What can we take from all this? As the ninjas would tell you, being big doesn’t always translate to being strong. Heavier pirates may pack a stronger punch but being stealthy and fast will keep the enemy on their toes. The best pirates on the seas have found a mix of both.

     Question: So how can you beat a pirate?

     Luckily for us, all pirates have a weakness, and even luckier – it’s listed right on the Food Club page for all Neopians to see. Pirates seem to be especially prone to food allergies. Our theory is that if you happen to have a food with allergens on hand they’ll stay away for fear of breaking out in hives. Be warned though, one pirate’s allergy is another’s favourite food! So, what’s the best food to carry? We looked at the data to find out.

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     Unfortunately, pirates like a LOT more food than they’re allergic to. This strategy will only work if you happen to be carrying neggs, bread, or dairy. Whatever you do, don’t approach a pirate ship with a freshly grilled Salisbury Steak. With meat as the most popular pirate food, it’ll likely attract the pirates and you’ll find yourself walking the plank rather than walking onto the pier.

     Question: Are pirates with picky eating habits stronger?

     We can judge how picky a pirate is by looking at how many “favourite foods” they have. Pirates can have between 1 and 3 favourite foods.

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     Although it isn’t by a significant amount, pickier eaters tend to be stronger than non picky eaters. In other words, the pirates that have 3 favourite foods tend to be weaker than those who have 2 favourite foods. They only average 60 strength points! Similarly, the pirates that have 2 favourite foods tend to be weaker than the ones that have just a single favourite dish. For comparison, pirates with a single favourite food have an average of 77 strength points.

     As it turns out, a balanced diet does not necessarily make a stronger pirate! Gooblah the Grarrl, who has just one favourite food and a massive 93 strength points, was interviewed for this special edition: “It’s not called being picky, it’s called not compromising your standards – and that is the secret to my success”. Orvinn the First Mate, the weakest and heaviest pirate with 3 favourite foods declined to comment. Hopefully, he starts the new year with a diet and a little pickier taste after reading this!

     Question: Are some Neopet species stronger than others?

     For this part of the report, we could only compare pirates that have multiple species represented in the food club pool of pirates. These species were Techos, Grarrls and Blumaroos. While Techos have relatively similar strength, the strength of the Grarrl and Blumaroo pirates tend to vary significantly. Although the sample size is small, we can conclude that species has no effect on strength.

     So, what should you do if you spot a pirate? Maybe send him a wave and a can of Neocola; after all, it’s easy to get dehydrated on a ship in the sunny ocean. If they start approaching though, turn on your propellors to full speed and hope your ship can outsail the fiercest crews on the sea. And, if you happen to stop by Krawk Island, give the Food Club a look. Happy sailing!