Bell’s Field Guide to Neomails by belldandy213
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NEOMAIL - If you’ve ever won a contest, or lead a very important guild, you would
know that the business of Neomails is a really tricky one. Hundreds of Neomails
flood your inbox at an alarming rate, and believe me, it can really get on your
nerves. Newbies, who send more Neomails than receive, often are the main culprits
in flooding others’ inboxes with endless Neomails such as, “i lyke anime 2 lets
b nefrends,” or, “ur col i lke tat aricle of yours in da tmes”. Okay, maybe that
was a little extreme, but you’d be surprised how close some of the Neomails I
receive are close to that. Aside from the numerous begging, guild requests, and
Neofriend requests (over Neomail, my Neofriend requests are blocked) I receive
weekly, I also find people just talking illiterately and illegibly. Since I know
how stressful Neomails really can be, I’d like to help you get in touch with the
vast, complicated world of Neomails
My Quick Overview of Neomails
In case you are entirely new to this whole Neomail thing, Neomail is how you
communicate on Neopets. A lot like our “e-mail”, in a way. The link is located
on the yellow toolbar between “world” and “shops”. When you receive a Neomail,
you see a yellow envelope on the upper left-hand corner of the screen. If you
want to view all of your new Neomails/events in order from most recent to oldest,
simply click on the little “show all” in parentheses right underneath it, and
it’ll take you to a page with all of your new events listed. Be sure that you
click on it whenever it comes up, because it can get on your nerves looking
at it after a while. (And you do want to be able to check your Neomail by just
clicking on it, I’ve had situations where I’ve clicked on it and gotten a Neomail
that I received and replied to almost a week previously once!) There are several
different colors and fonts you can choose from, and using bold, italics, and
underline is possible. Also, another good thing about Neomail is that you can
copy and paste pictures and graphics. Be warned, there is a character/word limit.
If you are trying to send a very long or graphic-heavy Neomail, you might have
to divide it into several different parts in order to keep to the limit of 1400
characters. This especially goes for people collaborating on stories or comics,
because the great length of the story would have to be divided into a few Neomails
in order to send back and forth.
As for formatting options, there are a few basic ones, and lots of copying
and pasting freedom. Mostly, the buttons are as follows (in this order from
left to right):
- bold
- italics
- underline
- left alignment
- centered alignment
- right alignment
- justified alignment
- number list
- bulleted list
- Text color
- hyperlink
Then the font and size dropdowns are rather self explanatory, like the “To”
line and the “Subject” line. If you still need a point of reference, just look
for yourself. Most of it is all there for you.
Some things you can’t put in Neomail
Well, while Neomail is probably one of the most flexible things in the site,
it still has its limits. For one thing, no outside sites are to be linked to
or even mentioned to (even as just a plain URL) in Neopets. They are not kidding
about this too. People have made numerous attempts to get around this rule,
but as the rules get tighter and tighter, and more revision is made to checking
if something is truly a URL to an outside site, it has been getting much harder
to find any loopholes through. However, linking to your own e-mail address is
still allowed, much hope if you want to send an outside-Neopets link to your
friend or something if you both have e-mail. This helps if you want to link
to a Neopets help site, your own web page, or even the URL where an image on
your userlookup can be located.
Another obvious thing is that anything not abiding the Terms and Conditions
of the site will be reported and destroyed. That’s a little bit obvious, but
simply put, the TOC is much overlooked by many users of Neopets, and it is all
too often the reason for freezings, so stick to them. ^_^ Also, no questionable
language is allowed to be used anywhere in the site, so none should be used
with Neomails as well.
Folders
I’m not getting much into this, but I’m going to briefly teach you how to
create and name folders. Well, what you do is, go to the folders page, and you
will see a text field saying “new folder” on the side. Write in the name of
the folder you want to make in this text field, and press the button that says
“Add”. Once it finishes loading, you will be able to view the contents of the
folder.
When you first open the folder, there will be no contents. You have to move
messages into that folder in order for it to have any contents. Let’s say you
have a folder called “Questions”. OK, well, in order to move a message into
that folder, you must go to your inbox. Once at your inbox, you click on the
checkbox next to the message you would like to move to “Questions”. Scroll down
until you see “Selected messages” right next to a drop down menu. Click on the
drop down menu, and click on “Move to Questions”. Then press the button that
says “Go!”. It should be moved to the folder now. Go to the folders section,
and click on “Questions” now. It will show your message in that folder. Congrats!
You just learned how to move messages into other folders. This will be helpful
for organizing your messages.
Writing regular Neomails
When writing any regular Neomail, you should try to be literate (speak clearly,
and distinctly), speak in good taste, and be polite. Being nice and laid back
really makes a huge difference with writing Neomails to your friends. Generally
speaking, be fair, have good taste, and be courteous when speaking, and you’ll
be fine Neomailing anybody. Also, about speaking literately, nobody likes listening
to chatspeak. Be courteous to the reader, and cut the chatspeak. I’m sorry,
but chatspeak is notoriously hard to read and very annoying. The only reason
why people USE chatspeak is because they’re lazy. Simple, don’t be lazy. It
makes a huge difference over Neomail
Neomailing the rich and famous
When Neomailing more revered members of the site, you have to remember that
they are people too. In other words, if you send them a Neomail saying, “I bend
to knee at thee, my almighty ruler of Weewoo-kind,” they might think that you
should be sent off to some asylum or something quickly before you go more insane
than you already are (not saying that you’re insane or anything). On a similar
note, you shouldn’t go saying something such as, “i‘m poor give me np,” because,
honestly, they’ll just chuck it out, and go on sorting through their other messages.
A few good rules for sending Neomail to the rich and famous:
- No stupid questions (examples of stupid questions are: “Where did you
get your baby paintbrush?” or “Where do you find the ‘pet central’ section
of the site?”)
- Speak literately, apply the basic rules of grammar, and use proper spelling.
(“I thought your site was awesome!” instead of “i thot ur sit awsm”)
- No begging (examples of begging are: “u r rich giv me a pb” or “My old
account was frozen, my pets are all sick, and I have no money. Give me some
of your neopoints.”)
- Be precise, especially when sending criticism. Say why you think that
the person’s site or article needs work… something like that. (“I think that
your article needs a bit more flavor.” or “Your site needs better graphics
on the layout.”) Make suggestions as well. (“Make the head on that Zafara
drawing a bit less square,” or, “You should make the background of your page
blue, instead of pink.”)
- Compliments of all kinds are always appreciated by any author
- If they have Neomail rules on their userlookup, FOLLOW them. Especially
regarding artwork. If they say no art requests, you better bet no art requests.
Also, if there are no guild requests on their userlookup, please listen. It’s
rude when people don’t abide userlookup rules, so, please, always check for
userlookup rules.
Also, you should understand that often you will never receive an answer from
these people. Understand that they probably have read it, and do not have any
time to answer it. It’s OK though, they aren’t trying to be mean! Only some
of us ones who have that feeling to answer every single one of them (which annoys
me after a while, as I am one of those), will be guaranteed to answer a Neomail
every single time.
Answering Fanmail
Fanmail is one of those things that we receive, but usually groan about. Not
that we hate compliments, but reading them by the hundreds can be a tedious
task that most literally loathe. Because of this, answering fanmail is an art
that we should take careful attention to. Follow these directions when setting
off to do the impossible: answering fanmail:
1. Decide what to answer. Usually compliments and questions are the only ones
you should answer. As for beggar mail, don’t even bother… Put the ones that
you’re going to answer in a folder marked “Replied”, and put the ones that you’re
not going to answer in a folder marked “Read” (or something on that note). Then
go to the “Replied” folder.
2. Answer each one put in the “Replied” folder. Answers should be brief, but
appreciative. A message like, “Thank you! I worked for months on it,” is enough
to satisfy any fan.
You might want to make a FAQ if answering fanmail gets to be a problem. If
you receive a Neomail asking something on your FAQ, simply say, “Please refer
to my FAQ!” End of story. It’s easy, and efficient for those who just don’t
have the time for a long-winded answer. The problem is, getting people to read
it. Well, at least you’ll have it… that’s all I’m going to say.
Well, I hope you have a little more knowledge of the Neomail scene now. I’m
not sure if that may have helped you at all… but it was good for a waste of
time, I guess. Now you might at least know what Neomail is and how to use it.
So next time you receive a Neomail, answer it! You know you want to. You’ll
even be able to write to that Neopian Times author that you’ve always dreamed
of talking to. ^_^ Who knows, when you’re a famous Neopian you will be able
to answer other peoples’ fanmail. The possibilities are endless. Well, goodbye,
and happy chatter!
Authors Note: Okay, well, I do accept Neomails, but do keep them short
and readable. I’m not going to wade through a pool of chatspoken, long-winding
Neomails… again! I’d much appreciate it! ^_^ Thank you…
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