What Never to Say to a Meridellian

     1.) “Don’t Get Your Meridellian up!”

     This phrase, along with several others such as “a Meridellian temper”, imply that Meridellians are naturally aggressive and quick to anger, a misconception that perhaps comes from the fact that King Skarl is naturally grumpy. However, Skarl may be the King, but he’s still only one Meridellian. Meridell doesn’t have any higher rates of aggression or short-tempered individuals than any other land.

     2.) “I bet all you eat is potatoes!”

     Yes, potatoes are a part of Meridellian cuisine, and yes, we do count them for sport. However, they are far from the only thing we eat here. We also have a great many berries, gruel, marrows, and other vegetables like turnips, and some people even eat Draik eggs. So if you don’t like potatoes, you can still find something to eat here.

     3.) “P.U! Meridellians smell worse than a Kadoatie’s litter box!”

     This idea came from the farm – since it contains a rubbish dump and there is dung on the farm, it admittedly has a bit of a funk to it. But so do all other farms – if you’ve ever been to Kau Kau Farm, you’ll know that it doesn’t smell any better.

     Also, the farmers always clean themselves and their clothes after getting dirty farming, just like anyone else with a messy job. Moreover, the farm is only one part of Meridell – places like the villages and the main town don’t smell bad; if anything, they smell nice because of all the local flora.

     4.) “You were the first country to be Grey Cursed, so you must be weak!”

     We were not weak; we were simply the victims of an unknown, powerful evil that science still can’t explain yet. Far from being weak, we held our own in various battles, including the Darigan War and the skirmish with the Darkest Faerie.

     5.) “Meridellians are uneducated.”

     This stereotype arose because we are right next door to Brightvale, a country that would make any other place look uneducated by comparison. Capping it off is that its ruler, King Hagan, likes to razz King Skarl about his comparatively low educational level, since the two are brothers and all. But we’re not any less educated than average – we’ve developed the know-how to magically enlarge Petpets for combat purposes, remember?

     6.) “You kiss Mortogs and get warts from them all the time! That’s gross!”

     Yes, Mortog-kissing is a popular sport in Meridell, but not all Meridellians do this, just like not all Altadorians play Yooyuball. And we’re well aware of the gross side of it, which is why kissing a Mortog that isn’t actually a prince or a princess is considered undesirable and causes an instant loss.

     As for the warts, that only happens if you are allergic to Mortogs, which, unfortunately, the Grundo who runs the game is, which gives the impression of his condition being more common than it is, or even universal. But just because some people are allergic to Mortogs doesn’t mean they are inherently gross or bad. Many people are lactose intolerant, but nobody thinks there is anything inherently bad about dairy, do they? And speaking of dairy…

     7.) “You roll your cheese down the hill! That’s a waste of food!”

     Yes, we do roll our cheese down the hill, but it is not wasted, since the winners get to take their rolls of cheese home. And the losers? Their cheese is fed to the Turmaculus – he needs to have something to eat when there’s not enough tourists around trying to wake him with their Petpets, doesn’t he? And do you really think King Skarl would approve of a sport that wastes food? Back to the Turmaculus, the next one is about him:

     8.) “You feed Petpets to the Turmaculus! That’s Petpet cruelty!”

     Most of the time, it’s not us Meridellians who disturb the Turmaculus; it’s tourists. Secondly, they are not feeding their Petpets to Turmy as he’s known; they’re trying to wake him up in hopes that he will give them a prize. He sometimes eats the Petpets instead, but that is not usually the tourists’ goal, so it would be incorrect to say they were “feeding” their Petpets to Turmy. If you want to see Petpet cruelty, look no further than Terror Mountain, where the villagers continue to feed Petpets to the Snow Beasts instead of trying to find an antidote for their curse.

     9.) “Meridell (or specifically King Skarl) was to blame for the Darigan War!”

     War is always a messy subject, but this is one of the more controversial topics in Neopia. You could say that Meridell technically started the Darigan War, but it wouldn’t be fair to say we were to blame for it. For starters, Meridell was suffering from a famine at the time, so we were in a desperate situation. In addition, King Skarl did not maliciously steal the orb as some people believe; it was some of his knights who stole it, and Skarl had no idea that it was stolen.

     Also, the war is all in the past; Meridell doesn’t have any grudge against the Darigan Citadel these days. Going there lets you know that our status with them is currently truce, and we even give some of our food to them once a year.

     10.) "You're all clowns who wear potato sacks all the time!"

     In a way, this is an amalgamation of the "Meridellians are all gross" stereotype and the "Meridellians are obsessed with potatoes" stereotype. While the potato sack is popular as a garment, it is considered work clothes, meant to protect the wearer's skin from cold, rain, and insect bites, not fancy attire or normal daywear. I can assure you that if you went to a dinner party in Meridell, nobody would be wearing a potato sack.

     I hope that this article enlightened you on what to say, and what not to say, in Meridell. Have a good day, and I’ll see you next time, perhaps for a round of poker.