Past the Layers of Lies - the True Jelly Chia

A few days ago I found myself lurking in a very old building. Even in the daytime, no light went through the windows of this factory. I was there to search for the mysterious Jelly Chia. You think I’m crazy, don’t you? Well, I’m not, if you’re wondering. Of course I’ve seen the warnings. “Don't go inside however... whatever you do....” Those warnings, however, just bounced off of me. I was determined (and just a little bit desperate) to find the truth and reveal it to all the good people of Neopia.

After checking the kitchen several times for food, I walked carefully into a very dusty hallway; I realized that my shoe had been caught in a small pile of red goo. After releasing my shoe, I kneeled down to examine the strange concoction. I dipped my finger into it and brought it up to my nose. Jelly. I knew I was getting close. What I didn’t realize was that I was much closer than I thought. I walked into what looked like a large ballroom, which was quite strange to have in an old abandoned factory. I sniffed the stale air, only to find a delightful smell of jelly. I began to follow the smell, determined to find the source.

I followed all the way to a large library. I walked among the aisles of shelves, amazed at all the books. I found a particularly heavy one, and dusted it off. Inventing Edible Friends, it was titled. Who was the author? Why, it was the Wizzle, the creator of the Jelly Chia himself. I opened it and flipped through the pages, only to find pictures of horrific creatures. Caramel Mynci, Pretzel Kacheek, Cotton Candy Shoyru, and much more. Finally, on the last page, it was titled in scraggly letters, Jelly Chia. A small corner had been folded, marking the place.

I closed the book and with much difficulty, shoved it back into the shelf. Suddenly, I saw a very small piece of paper flutter from the pages and onto the ground. It was a photograph. Not just any photograph. A photograph of a deranged Jubjub, with its arm around a mutated Chia. Both carried happy expressions on their faces. (Although it was hard to tell with the Chia.) Suddenly, by instinct, I dropped the photo and knew that I was not alone.

A heavy breathing filled the room and I slowly turned around to see a horribly mutated Chia. It looked more like a big blob of red jelly, turned into a figure of a Chia, which lacked an entire face.

“WHAT YOU WANT?” it bellowed.

I jumped back in surprise. “I-I’m here to interview you,” I stammered. Although, it had no face, I could tell what its expression was.

“Interview? What is interview?” it asked with a hint of curiosity. I took a small sigh of relief and I sat the Chia down in the kitchen. I did make it out alive, you know. I have just one thing to say to all those who didn’t believe in me, and were already planning my funeral: HA!

Interview with the Jelly Chia

Chibi (that’s me!): So Mr., uh, Jelly. We’ve all seen the Gallery of Evil and your creator Wizzle; many Neopians are curious of what happened to him. Can you tell us?

Jelly: Wizzle very bad man. Me no like him at all. Me, how you say, finished him off.

Chibi: *scoots a little farther away* Okay then. Now, we are all curious of what you do here in this old abandoned factory.

Jelly: Me do lots of things. First, me bounce around in kitchen. Second, me bounce around in bedroom. Third, me bounce around in-

Chibi: Okay, I think we all get it.

Jelly: WHAT? ME NOT DONE YET!

Chibi: SORRY! C-continue p-please.

Jelly: Third, me bounce around in lobby. Fourth me bounce-

(We’re just going to skip the rest of that)

Chibi: Since you’re made of jelly, you probably don’t eat regular food. What have you developed a taste for?

Jelly: Me like plushies.

Chibi: Plushies! That’s a relief.

Jelly: Me like Number Six Plushies. Those very yummy.

Chibi: Now, you caught me in the library looking at an old book, filled with horrible recipes for other edible pets. Have you ever looked at that?

Jelly: Of course me have! Me even try to make one. But, me kept getting jelly into recipe.

Chibi: All right. Just a few more questions. Do you stay in touch with anyone? Any close friends?

Jelly: Me have no friends. Me thought Wizzle was friend, but he try to eat Jelly Chia. Me also thought Kasey was friend, but she also try to eat Jelly. Nobody like Jelly Chia. Everyone try to eat me.

Chibi: Who’s Kasey?

Jelly: Reporter like you. Come do interview. Pretend to be Jelly’s friend. Instead, try to eat Jelly.

Chibi: W-what happened to h-her?

Jelly: Same thing that happened to Wizzle. Heh.

Chibi: *scoots a little farther away* Uh, Mr. Jelly. We are all very curious. The question is why. Why do you like to scare others? Why?

Jelly: Why you want to know this? Why you come here?

Chibi: I told you. This is for the Neopian Times.

Jelly: NEOPIAN TIMES! I HATE NEOPIAN TIMES! THAT’S WHERE WIZZLE GET HIS IDEA! THAT’S WHY KASEY COME. YOU NOT TRY TO BE FRIEND. YOU TRY TO EAT ME!

Chibi: N-no honestly. I w-would never try to eat you.

Jelly: Suddenly me very hungry. Me would love to eat something. You look yummy.

Chibi: It was great talking with you, really. I, uh have to go. I’ll show myself out. THANKS!

-End Interview-

Now, you the reader now know the cold hard truth about the misunderstood blob. I hope that this report has helped you see through all the lies you’ve been told. You will not hear from me for a while after this is published. It’s for, er, let’s just say safety reasons. This is Chibichix, logging out.