What Makes the Magic Smelly Socks Smelly?

The first theory is the most obvious, and boring. That is, a poor, underpaid faerie is hired to cast a spell on them and make them so smelly. But that seems too simple. So I searched for a better explanation.

It was when I was chatting with the Tyrannian Petpet shopkeeper, Pacha, that a new theory emerged. According to Pacha, his cousin (who owns the Pharmacy) was in Tyrannia, and he went to the Lair of the Beast, carrying socks! When his cousin came back, the socks were smelly. Could the smell be the drool of the Beast? It seemed unlikely to me that the beast would be interested in helping sick Neopets, but who knows?

When I was sight-seeing near the the Rainbow Fountain, a Shoyru told me that he thought that the reason the power in the Fountain was used up was because the Pharamacy owner, Beeza, was using the water to make the socks smelly, and the dirty water made them smell. But when I asked the Fountain faerie, she just said in a dreamy voice that nothing went on in the Fountain that she didn’t know about, and Beeza hadn’t been using the water. And the faerie had no reason to lie. Or did she...

A baby Peophin gave me the idea for the next theory. Whenever you go fishing in the underwater cavern, you most often get rotten shoes. Maybe the socks are made in a factory beneath the Cavern, and the workers are very angry about being locked underground all day (Well, wouldn’t you?). To get back at the Pharmacy, they rub the rotten shoes all over the socks to make them smelly. But this seems like such a childish idea, and anyways, how would the smell stick? This is one of many theories regarding the Cavern, but most of them are as unbelievable as this one.

Then there is the popular omelette solution. People who have discarded a rotten omelette say that the rotten omelettes are stored in the same room as the socks going to the Pharmacy, and so the rotten smell gets in the socks. This just doesn’t make sense to me. Why would rotten omelettes and socks be in the same room?

The first theory that actually made any sense to me came in a neomail filled with gossip from my aunt. Her theory has to deal with a natural smell. Sweat. It gets very intense at the Auction House. Often Neopets start fighting. The Auction Scorchio has to deal with all the pressure all day. He sweats more than any other Neopian, and you can imagine that his socks smell really bad! He donates them to the Pharmacy, who use them for their Bloaty Feet treatment, and don’t bother getting rid of the smell. But when asked about it, the Auction Scorchio flushed and mumbled that he may sweat more than other Neopians, but he doesn’t give his socks to the Pharmacy, nor does he wear socks! But then why the flush? Maybe the solution....

Another theory that sort of makes sense is the endless sock supply. It is rumored that a room filled with enough magic socks to last Neopia forever was invaded by a prankster with stinkbombs. You can imagine the whole scene. The prankster was grounded, and the Faerie Queen, who had made all the socks, magically transformed him. Wonder what he was changed into? Well, he’s our friend the Esophagar. Yep, the Esophagar. Terrifying hungry beast used to be a little Kacheek. It’s scary the way Neopets grow up nowadays. But enough about the Esophagar.

The Esophagar theory is not the only one dealing with the endless sock supply. There are others where the hospital owner found out that the socks worked better when they were smelly, and he spilled smelly oil over them, and then realized how mad the Faerie Queen would be, and didn’t admit to doing it. It is also thought that the jealous water faerie, thinking people would no longer come to her Healing Springs when they could buy socks, made them smelly in the hopes that no one would want to buy them then. But there is no proof for any of these situations being true.

To try to find out more, I got an audience with her Highness the Faerie Queen. She merely smiled at my questions, and when she heard the theories I had so far, she laughed. “Why do people not see the plain and simple truth?” When I asked if she knew how they got smelly, she said, “Yes, but you continue your investigation.”

A pessimistic Darigan Eyrie said that all of our noses might be telling us wrong, and we think that the smell exists, but it doesn’t really, that it’s all in our heads. But this seems to be the least likely solution of all, and really does not make sense to me.

The last theory is that an unknown species of petpetpets (pets for petpets) have gotten inside of the thread in the socks, and let off their smell to mark their territory (like the mythical dog), and that causes the smell of the socks.

For this inspection, I purchased a pair of Magic Smelly Socks. Although they are very smelly, I could find no evidence of petpetpets or anything else from my theories.

Many boring Neopians (in fact, 4 out of 5 Neopians) say that the socks are smelly for medicinal purposes, and there is no beast's drool, Auctioner’s sweat, or stinkbombs causing the smell. But are they right, or is there deep treachery mixed in with Neopia’s own Magic Smelly Socks?