How My Best Friend And I Saved Neopia

     Now listen to this. That's what Miles and I went through.

     No kidding!

     And this is the story of what happened.

     ***

     "We're DOOOOMED."

     Miles the yellow Chia banged his head down on a stone table. "DOOMED, DOOMED, DOOMED, DOOMED, DOOMED! We're never gonna get out of this homework assignment... thingie!"

     I twirled my pencil. "Tell me about it."

     "But look at you, Sal! You're... you're the epitome of an overachiever! You're smart, you're the teacher's pet, you're... you're... you're... GORGEOUS" --he said that with disgust-- "all the girls love you-"

     I hated to admit it, but I agreed with all those facts. I sleeked back my dark fur (I was shadow at the time) and put the pencil behind my ear.

     Homework was a bore to me, even though I understood it. Miles was my friend since we were itty bitty babies in the nursery. But when our Literature teacher paired us up for our psychological story studies, I knew I was, as Miles put it, DOOMED.

     Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Mumbling to myself words of gratitude for this interruption, I answered it. You'd never guess what happened.

     "Guys, I know this is sudden and kinda awkward, but you need to help me!"

     I backed away from the door, staring at our uninvited guest. He was blue, floating about a foot off the ground. With gleaming red eyes and a desperate stare, he clutched a stick with a pair of bizarre boxer shorts hanging from them. If you guessed the Pant Devil, you win the grand prize!

     I hesitated. "... Miles... the Pant Devil's at our door."

     "NO WAY!" I heard him spring up and fall, with an exasperated, "... Ow..." and then rush to the door. "Awwwww man!" He said, ignoring the fact that this guy steals expensive things from you and your owner. "Can I have your autograph?!"

     The Pant Devil had no reply to that. "I just ran to the first house I saw! I'm being... outvillained." He collapsed with a sob onto the couch in the den. I love how evil villains just invite themselves in, make themselves a cup of tea and sit down. I just LOVE IT.

     Miles was still annoyed because of the whole autograph thing, but then asked quietly, "Who is it?"

     I was thinking that was what I should have asked before I answered the door.

     "It's a Neopet. Just like you. A Korbat actually. Nobody knows how he got this way, but he's plotting to... to... outvillain us in a matter of a few days!"

     My mind was saying, "Honestly, who gives a-"

     But then I was suddenly interested.

     "Where is he?" I asked, as I suddenly went to the kitchen to make tea. I have absolutely no clue why I decided to make tea for Miles, who only drinks soda (and not the non-caffeinated kind either) and the Pant Devil. It still perplexes me.

     The blue... thingie looked around, as if this new Neopian adversary was watching us. "He's got a lair in the volcano in Mystery Island."

     Miles, who, for a blinding yellow Chia, wasn't so bright, said, "What happens if it explodes?"

     The next moment was laced with awkward silence.

     "I came to this door because Neopia needs two new heroes. And these new heroes are the yellow Chia and shadow Gelert I see in front of me! Whadayasay?"

     The awkward silence struck again!

     Miles chimed with an excited sounding, "Sure!"

     I also loved how my friend would answer for me.

     Walking inside with the tea we would end up not drinking, I leaned back on the couch. But not for long. Miles grabbed my hand and said, "C'mon! We gotta go save us some Neopia!"

     And at that moment he dragged me out the door, with a deep blue floating ghost in our wake, and our homework not finished.

     What would my mom be mad at me more for? The homework, answering the door for the Pant Devil, or telling a villain you'd be Neopia's next heroes?

     ***

     We arrived on Mystery Island on a pirate ship. Miles and I stowed away in some cargo. It wasn't my idea, nor Miles', but the Pant Devil's. Loser. I mean, he didn't even come with us! I bet he stole my stuff when he left us at port.

     Well, the Krawk Island pirate ship was another story. I'd rather not go into that.

     Once our trek to the volcano was over and gone, we immediately heard some odd sounds emerging from the volcano's top.

     "What do we say to get in?" Miles was looking up at the Techo face in awe. Techo Mountain. Pssh. What a name.

     "I don't know genius, figure it out yourself!"

     "OPEN SAYS I!"

     "How 'bout, let's get out of here!" I said with as much false cheer as my face could hold. I swear, my head almost imploded at that moment.

     My head almost imploded because that opened the mountain.

     "Way to go, Sal! WHOOT!" Miles tried to high five me in the air, but I ignored him. This Chia was really, REALLY, getting on my nerves.

     We made our way into the volcano. It looked like a cave on the inside, but a chrome door was placed directly across from where we entered. Miles ran to the door like a meepit runs to anyone who willingly gives them juice, and I stood there thinking, "What an idiot. He's the one who got us into this mess in the first place."

     I sarcastically said, "Well, I guess the password here is something 'smart', like, 'Palindrome' or 'Potato' or..."

     I opened the door yet again.

     "Wow, this villain is just plain stupid," I said, surprised. Blinking, I realized I'd already walked through the door.

     It was cool in this part of the volcano, and silver mechanisms dotted the room in which we stood. Oddly enough, lots of- ready? - DISCO furniture was sitting around. And there was a stupid disco ball as well.

     "Mannnn, this place is my kind of house!" Miles said, plopping himself down on a nearby chair. "I'm moving in!"

     I turned around as I heard a voice say, "Well, well, well, you seem to like my evil lair, hmm?"

     Words cannot describe my expression as I saw who this villain really was.

     Yes, he was a Korbat, and an odd one indeed. His skin and fur (do Korbats even HAVE fur?) were brown, light brown, and I couldn't quite make out what color he was. In his hands (wings maybe? Gimme a break, I failed our anatomy tests in science. Hey, overachievers are bad at some things!) was a... faellie. Yeah, a faellie. I almost laughed. He also sported a monocle and black necktie. Some things get weirder every day.

     "COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!" the Korbat boomed.

     Miles replied, "If your whole pad is like this, I want to!"

     "Good, because you might stay ETERNITY HERE!"

     "Dude, chill," I said. Though we were already being dragged into cages in the next room.

     ***

      "Who am I?" the Korbat asked. "I am... THE GREAT! And I shall forever be known as THE GREAT because I am... well... great.

     "Why am I taking over Neopia, you ask?"

     "... I didn't ask-"

     "SILENCE!"

     Miles was really the worst person to be stuck with in a situation like this.

     "I'm taking over Neopia because I want... REVENGE!"

     "Shouldn't he have some lasers going on in the background? 'Cause that would be so much cooler than nothing going on behind him. Laser light shows make the evil look," Miles said.

     "We have no light shows because the author is too lazy to write one!" I hissed at him. We both turned to "The Great."

     "I want REVENGE," The Great continued, "because I am... chocolate."

     Miles said, "Well, that's pretty awesome that you're chocolate."

     "No..." The Great said sadly. "It's not. See, my owner had me zapped as a child. You know, lab ray and all that... I ran away when I was turned chocolate because I'm... I'm..." He paused, sobbing. "I'm allergic to chocolate."

     I, Sal the shadow Gelert, actually gasped. "No..."

     "Yes! So I decided to capture people in Neopia, outvillain the villains and make everybody chocolate, 'cause that would ease my pain!"

     I turned to Miles, "This my friend, is a cheesy and generic plot, you see. The author of this story is just recovering from a writer's block, and I guess she thinks this is good. Maybe THAT would help you on your homework."

     "'Tis true Sal, 'tis true," my friend replied.

     The villain paused, and then said to us, "And now it's your turn!" He turned a large laser toward us.

     "YESSS!" yelled Miles. "Here's that laser show I asked for about nine paragraphs back!"

     And as the laser turned on and it was about to fire through the metal cage, at me and my best friend, The Great's petpet started gnawing on his owner's ankles.

     "NO! NO!" the villain shrieked. The laser turned, hitting a shelf which then hit the off switch.

     While The Great was in very mild pain, his faellie gnawed us out of the cage.

     "Wow!" I said. "Wow, thanks!"

     The faellie nodded as Miles hugged him. Miles then proceeded to call the Defenders of Neopia to put The Great back in his place.

     I guess we saved the day. I owe most of it to the faellie.

     ***

     My best friend and I arrived back at my house hours later, when my owner was home.

     "Where were you two?!" We expected this interrogation. "Miles, your mom is SO MAD AT YOU FOR BEING OUT THIS LATE! AND WHY ISN'T YOUR HOMEWORK DONE!"

     I knew she'd be mad about the homework.

The End