The Troublesome Art of Trick-or-treating

But anyway, it's my opinion on this holiday that counts in this article. So ha ha.

What I think is the most important thing about Halloween is the candy - I mean, the trick-or-treating. Think about it! Trick-or-treaters are the Neopians who make Halloween what it is! Well, there's also all those villainy people. But who cares about them?

... I'm going to get hunted down later for saying that, aren't I?

For those who do not know what trick-or-treating is - you poor souls - let me explain. Trick or treating is a process where you get to dress up and go around knocking on peoples' doors! And you don't get yelled at for it! And get this - when the person opens their door, you yell, "Trick-or-treat!" And here's the unbelievable part: You get free candy! Seriously, it's like the greatest idea ever! And it only happens once a year. Trust me; I've tried trick-or-treating on other days of the year. Doors were slammed in my face and things were thrown at me. *sniffle* All that hard work put into my faerie princess costume was for nothing...

But now I am here to teach you all the proper etiquette of trick-or-treating! From costume to candy-consuming, I'll cover it all. And hopefully, this will prevent you from making the same, um, "mistakes" I've made.

Costume:

Costumes - or dressing up as some may say, range from cheap-skate to the kind you're sure took a good chunk of your life to create. Now costumes are very important. I've discovered a method; the cuter you dress, the more candy you get. The scarier you dress, the more rush the candy-giver is in to close the door. I tend to go for somewhere in the middle after going through certain incidents from too much sugar. Since I don't want to sound like I'm saying certain costumes are better, I'll just give you some warnings about how you should go about making - or buying - your own.

1. When you dress up as a fire faerie, don't try to light your wings on fire like that one Nuria person. Especially if your wings are made out of cardboard. This can actually be considered dangerous. And the severe burns you may obtain after running around in circles screaming may make your candy and trick-or-treating experience less enjoyable.

2. Although dressing up as the Pant Devil may be easy (You can just throw on a blue blanket and you're set), it is not always the wisest. This costume may attract many Battledome challenges and angry Neopians who want their Hidden-Tower-quality items back.

3. While it may sound like fun to dress up as an aquatic Neopet, if you want the costume to be convincing, don't go for it. Unless you're trick-or-treating down in Maraqua. But I've tried and it's kind of difficult to breathe down there. Plus, the candy gets soggy.

4. If you dress up as Queen Fyora, do not try to imitate her and go about boasting you're the greatest faerie and all Neopians should adore the ground you walk on. Unfortunately, Queen Fyora will find out. Encountering Queen Fyora over this is really not fun.

And that's all I have to say for now on costumes. Remember to be creative!

For me... well, forget creativity. I'm just slapping on a mask and claiming I'm an unreleased Neopet.

Obtaining Candy:

Now that you've got your professionally-made costume, I'm sure you're all dying to go out trick-or-treating. But hold on! There's more! You fellow Neopians need to know how to be safe! Because remember, kids, safety is fun!

Now there aren't too many rules on who to visit. But I will give you a few basic formulas to follow anyway.

Dressing up as food + trick-or-treating at the Esophagor's place = not healthy.

Dressing up as a ninja + trick-or-treating at Krawk Island = bad.

Dressing up as Illusen + trick-or-treating at Jhudora's Cloud = stupid.

Now let's get to how to go about getting the candy. I've discovered that after banging on the door for ten minutes straight when no one answers right away never results in receiving candy.

Now unless you're in a really scary costume, I wouldn't try threatening the candy-giver, either. Sorry folks, but when you're dressed up as a faerie Kacheek, it's just plain hard to pull off the whole intimidating look.

Lastly, remember to say "Trick or Treat!" and smile! Otherwise, people wonder why there's some oddball in a costume standing on their front porch.

Candy-Consuming:

Now here's the moment we've all been waiting for! The feasting of the candy! Unless you're one of those weirdoes - I mean, people who carefully plan out daily candy consumption for the next two and a half years.

Now, as tempting as it seems, I suggest you don't eat already-collected candy while you continue trick-or-treating. Wait until you're sure you are done and have arrived back home. But wait! Don't even think of going berserk and eating all your candy at once! Make sure all doors are shut, all blinds are drawn, and there is no one else in the room. Then you can go berserk and eat all your candy at once.

And ahhh, the wonderful bliss you feel as you cram the precious sweets into your mouth. Savor this feeling. Treasure it. For the next day your mouth will be in considerate pain and you will begin to pursue cavity-free candy instead.

Now, side effects of this may include a sick stomach, extreme hyper-ness, and crashing afterwards into a coma-like state. Gosh, isn't trick-or-treating the best?

And that's all for now! All the advice I have to give on the basics of trick-or-treating has been laid out before you. Remember now, fellow trick-or-treaters: this time only comes once a year. Don't blow it. And you are never too old for trick-or-treating - even if they refuse to give you candy and threaten you. Now I've got to get back to work on my new and improved faerie princess costume...