Live and Love

I like to stare at the stars.

Each star up there

Holds a secret;

A separate breath,

A new outlook.

Maybe someday

I’ll travel to a star

But I know now

That I,

Luanne,

The infamous purple Elephante,

Cannot do anything right.

For now.

My biggest mistake

Was thinking that I cannot make mistakes

I just

H

O

P

P

E

D

And

B

R

E

E

Z

E

D

My way through life.

Boy, was I an idiot!

It all started

When

HANNAH

Entered my school.

HANNAH,

One of the biggest stars in Neopia,

HANNAH,

At my school?

MY school,

A school with low standards,

Low grades,

And low spirit?

That has to be a mistake.

Right?

Wrong.

At first,

I wondered who

HANNAH

Really was.

Was she

One of those

Ego-Maniac

Super-stars?

Or was she

A kind,

Down-to-earth

Regular pet?

I mean,

Having TWO games about a person

Must make that person

Pretty special.

Would

HANNAH

Milk it?

She just flounced into the classroom that day

Uninvited,

Unannounced.

Everybody was looking at her.

Even I was.

(I was foolish back then.)

“I am the new student,”

HANNAH

Happened to say.

My jaw dropped.

I was in the same room

As a famous person

And we were going

To get to know one another.

I hate to say it

But

I wanted to be her best friend.

And I went all out.

My hands

S

H

O

O

K

When

I

Was

Assigned

To be

HANNAH’s

Partner

In science class.

“Hello,”

I said.

It wasn’t wrong to say

Hello.

It is a nice,

Normal thing to say

Hello.

HANNAH looked at me

Like I wasn’t her equal.

Like I didn’t have feelings

And if I did,

They didn’t matter.

Like a wind

That quickly rustles through the trees

And then is forgotten,

And she

Was a massive hurricane

That leaves mountains

Of damage,

Debris,

And hopelessness.

Like,

Like,

Like,

Like,

Like...?

I wanted to destroy

HANNAH.

I will never forget

The day I destroyed her.

Well at least,

I PLANNED to destroy her.

I destroyed myself instead.

It seems,

I guess,

That everybody joined up with

HANNAH

In the short period of time that she was at my school.

What I did to her,

That Usul I hated so much,

Destroyed my reputation,

And all of my friendships.

T H E R E

T H E Y

G O!

GOODBYE

POOF, THEY’RE GONE!

And I’ll

Never

See them again.

I hate myself.

Everybody else does, too.

I’m sure you do, dear reader,

So go ahead and admit it.

I don’t really care.

HANNAH

Is long gone from my school,

But is not forgotten in the hearts of my classmates.

It is like a mini

HANNAH

Has formed in each of their souls.

But not mine.

For me,

HANNAH

Is a dark, deep

Black hole.

Today,

Today,

Today, today, today

Today.

A Uni at my school,

Named Troya

Tripped me.

She held her beautiful leg out

I tripped,

F

E

L

L

D

O

W

N

Into a big,

Heaping plate

Of greasy spaghetti

On my face.

Troya thought she was funny

And smeared

Some

Sauce

On

My

Face.

As well.

Her snobby friends laughed,

But I didn’t think it was that funny.

The clock on my wall

Keeps a steady rhythm.

When I stare out the window,

Lost in thought,

I can hear the clock

Ticking

Tocking

Ticking

Tocking

Again and again

In a steady rhythm

Without ever thinking

Of

Stopping.

I never thought of stopping

I never realized what I was doing

When I tried to destroy

HANNAH.

Or was it everybody else,

Maggots in

HANNAH’s

Bright light,

The ones who weren’t thinking?

I wonder if there is another planet up in space

Lost in the cluster of amazing stars.

Maybe that planet is the exact same as mine.

And a girl

Named

Luanne

Just like me

Made the same mistake

That I did.

I feel sorry for that poor girl,

A girl who hides under her sheets at night,

Afraid that

HANNAH

Is going to get her.

If I could talk to that girl, what would I say?

“You need to find inner strength

Put

HANNAH

Behind you

And become a normal pet again.”

I think I will take a career

As a psychiatrist.

There is a new girl at my school.

Her name is Eiyell.

Eiyell is a plain and dull and boring

yellow Scorchio.

She is quiet

And shy

And timid.

I don’t think I like her.

I have been watching the new girl

With the name of Eiyell.

She barely talks to anyone

Or offers her hand in class.

She sits alone at lunch.

Poor thing.

She should make some friends,

Forget that she is new,

Have fun,

And be herself.

I’ve been wondering these days,

Why was

HANNAH

So special to my classmates?

Sure, she was famous,

But are my classmates really that shallow?

Yes, I suppose.

However, you are only famous

And loved,

Because people

WANT

To love you.

If

HANNAH’s

Next game was a fluke

Or too easy or hard,

Then not as many pets

Would love her.

What a strange idea love is.

Do I have anybody to love?

I read the Neopian Times today.

There was an article

That screamed out at me

With a picture

Of amazing colors

Right next to it.

It was about

HANNAH.

HANNAH,

I guess,

Got in trouble.

The Defenders

Who are now my absolute heroes

Caught

HANNAH.

She injured

A small little Warf,

Got in front of the papers,

And “healed” it.

What a riot that caused!

Maybe

My classmates

Will now see through

HANNAH

And realize

That what I did was right!

Eiyell has been hanging around me

Like I used to hang around her.

Now,

I have better things on my mind.

I wonder

What lives inside

Another’s mind.

What is Eiyell thinking right now?

Is Troya regretting her bullying?

Does

HANNAH

Remember me?

My life has been excavated.

It’s a project for school.

I should take 10 important things in my life

And present them in a creative way.

I can’t take down a star

Or show the can of paint I used to destroy

HANNAH

So instead

Of important things

I used

Random things.

A broken blue fuzzle; a third of a Rotten Omelette;

A palm fan; a pair of sandals;

A dull grey pearl; a Serf Lens;

A wet snowball; a packet of gravel;

A Jazzmosis Hat; and a Giant Brown Kelp.

I know that this isn’t my Life

But will my teacher believe it?

What is your life?

Does a fan or a necklace represent who you are?

This was a stupid assignment.

Does

HANNAH

Have a real life?

Or is her life just about

Being famous

Kissing-up

And letting down ordinary pets with dreams?

Eiyell spoke today.

I had never heard her voice.

It is

G

E

N

T

L

Y

F

A

L

L

I

N

G

Snow

In a silent meadow.

I love Eiyell’s voice.

It makes me feel...

...Happy.

“I’ve lived through problems

But I have swam gracefully under the bridge

Instead of thrashing my way over it.

You should, too, Luanne.

I know that you have had problems just like me

But at least I know how to stop them

Before they take over my life.”

E

I

Y

E

L

L

S

A

I

D

T

H

I

S

T

O

M

E.

Ever since,

I

F

E

E

L

C

R

A

Z

Y.

How did she know?

Were my true feelings too obvious?

I

H

A

V

E

To talk to Eiyell!

She’s gone.

She’s gone.

I don’t know where she went but

She’s gone.

Eiyell disappeared.

Nobody has a full story

And I don’t believe them, anyway.

I forgive Hannah.

I have stopped putting her name in all capitals,

Using its own line.

That is all done

And I wouldn’t have stopped

If it weren’t for Eiyell.

I learned through Hannah

How to love

And how to live.

My life is the stars once again.

I observe them by daydreaming out the window.

I still want to visit a star

Or a distant planet, someplace similar to home.

My life is my poetry.

I was writing poetry all along

And Eiyell’s words were poetry.

I love

F

L

O

W

I

N

G

Words on strings.

My life is knowing how to love.

I don’t judge now.

That’s what I was doing with Hannah and Eiyell.

I see inside the souls now.

I think that is something else

That genius of a Usul

Has taught me.

My life is my friends.

I have many friends now.

They have stopped obsessing about Hannah like I hoped

And realized that what I did was right.

I don’t care what my friends think of Hannah, though,

Because I regret what I did.

I have one last stanza

Of the poem that I lived

And it is this:

“I’ve lived through problems

But I have swam gracefully under the bridge

Instead of thrashing my way over it.

You should, too, dear reader.

I know that you have had problems just like me

But at least I know how to stop them

Before they take over my life.”

The End