The Other Side of Tombola

This is not the first time Tiki Tack Tombola has hit hard times. The Mystery Island based game, run by the Tiki Tack Tombola Man, has become one of Neopia’s most famous attractions and is visited by thousands daily. However, it frequently suffers from a lack of funds, requiring average Neopians to donate and get it up and running again. Fair enough, you might think. But to me, something isn’t adding up.

As a business venture, the Tombola game is ultimately doomed. Business expert Nigel the Commodity Broker Chia explains, "The aim is to make a profit by selling your stocks at a higher price than you bought them for." The Tombola game gives out cash and prizes but costs nothing to play, so frequent closure is the inevitable outcome. The funds for more cash and prizes are raised through donations and so the cycle begins once again. The amounts needed to get the game up and running, however, seem suspiciously excessive.

Most of the prizes given away from the Tombola game can be obtained for 1 NP or grabbed for free at the Money Tree. However, early yesterday the Tombola Man claimed he needed in excess of 65,000 NP to get the game up and running again. In the past the amount needed has been as high as 280,00NP+, which seems a little steep for a game that doesn’t give a prize to everyone and when it does it is mostly junk. Having raised the neopoints to get the game up again, it seems that it should be a long time until funds will be needed once again. Yet the game closes down at least a couple of times a week. When asked about the uses of the funds he was gathering Tombola Man would only say: "If you donate you will be helping the poor and needy of Neopia."

Despite this claim, the Tombola game has no measures in place to ensure that only Neopians who are indeed 'poor and needy' can benefit. The Soup Kitchen, another donation-based operation, checks how many neopoints a user has to determine whether they are eligible to use the service. "Only really poor people [with] under 3,000 NP can get handouts at the soup kitchen," explained the Soup Faerie. Is there is a possibility that Tombola Man is using a charity cover story to amass large amounts of neopoints? If so why, and what for? What do we know about the Tombola Man?

It was a hot and humid day on Mystery Island; a possibility of rain later on. Temperatures were searing: 95 degrees F, 35 degrees C. It was here that I came to explore the possibility that Tombola Man wasn't telling us the full story. The particular piece in this puzzle I was working on was the Tombola Man's inexplicable hour or so absences from the game. Although he understandably needs to leave sometimes to buy stock and so on, the one hour delays usually don't come between when he has raised funds and when he re-opens, but at seemingly randomly spaced intervals during the day. Could Tombola Man simply be slacking off, enjoying breaks on Mystery Island more than running his stall? Or was he, perhaps, off on some kind of secret business?

Travel organizer Tiki Tours spends a lot of time frequenting the popular tourist spots on the island, but could not comment on whether or not the Tombola Man was a regular visitor. "There are hundreds of secluded coves where you can just lay back, take in the scenery and forget all your worries," a spokesman said. When asked if he knew where the Tombola Man could be spending his absences from the Tombola game, the spokesman said it would be impossible to say. "[Techo Mountain] is rumoured to have secret passages built by the ancient Cocos running through it," he hinted. I didn't come across anything Tombola-related at the Mountain (besides of course the similar colourful Island dress) but a trip to the shops gave me a fresh idea.

When down at the Tiki Tack store I came across a possible explanation for the Tombola Man's requests for seemingly excessive amounts of neopoints. Purchasing his prizes from this local icon would explain a need for excessive restocking funds. A Palm Fan, Pickled Olives and Volcanic Rock, for example, retail at 226, 289 and 303 NP respectively (subject to haggling). Even a humble Toy Sail Boat could set you back more than 300 NP if purchased from the island's official souvenir provider. The Shop Wizard confirmed that all these items could be found in Neopian stores for 1 NP. I asked the Shop Wizard to explain why he was able to offer a price of up to 300 times cheaper than the Tiki Tack store: "I... search through all the shops in the market to find you the best prices," he said. When it was suggested to the Tiki Tack store that the company may not be offering the best deals to its patrons, the storeperson avoided the issue, cryptically commenting: "Get your Mystery Island Merchandise here!" When I pressed him further, and offered the 1 NP his wares were worth in wider Neopia, he became unreasonable and rude, cursing me and my pets.

He attempted to play the 'crafty salesman' with arguments like: "Hmmm, no, I'm not going any lower,"; "How about 320? I think that is fair!"; "This is starting to tire me,"; "I'm not going to accept less than 323,"; "I really do have to make a living you know,"; and so on. Unwilling to accept the reality that these days Toy Sailing Boats are really only worth 1 NP, he would only offer me his lowest price of 266 NP and when I refused, he lost the plot. If the Tombola Man has succumbed to this traditionalist, favouring Island loyalty over more economical stockists, there would indeed be a legitimate need for enormous funds to get the Tombola game up and running each time supplies run out.

I took a trip to the Neopian Stock Exchange to ask some business experts what they thought of the Tombola game operation. Business experts are split over the question of the Tombola Man’s dealings. While those like Nigel the Chia are focussed on making a profit, others, like Kantroni Usul, senior analyst at Southern Securities, ruled out criticisms of the Tombola Man and condemned the media attention the Tombola game was receiving. “Everyone's very excited about what's going on these days, even if they shouldn't be.”

And yet I believe there is cause for excitement: the matter of Tombola's secretive links with the game's likely supplier of one of its best prizes.

Yes, I mean Balthazars Faerie Bottling Incorporated.

Balthazars Faerie Bottling Incorporated has been described as a “very dark and mysterious company”. A high-ranking source, who wished to remain anonymous for security reasons, gave us an insight into the company’s dealings. “They work underground, popping up when people least expect it and stealing faeries, bottling them, and selling them on.” Balthazars Faerie Bottling Incorporated has a monopoly on the trapping and supply of these faeries to the wider market, so it is highly likely, virtually a given, that to obtain faeries as prizes Tombola must have an arrangement with one of Neopia’s most notorious ‘bad guys’, Balthazar the Bounty Hunter. A bottled faerie is one of the top prizes that can be won from a game of Tombola, and is coveted by players.

When Balthazar was interviewed for this story he would not cooperate and refused to say anything about any purported relationship with the Tiki Tack Tombola game. I also took the opportunity to ask him about Balthazars Faerie Bottling Incorporated. He defended his shady business, saying “Don’t worry, my little winged friends... will make me very rich.”

This is what I suggest: links with Balthazar, bad business practice, mysterious absences, charity fraud. This is the other side of Tombola; the things you don't think about. I could be wrong, as I often am. But I could be right too.