 Do You Support Sloth?
by confiserie
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For years Sloth has been laughed at, underestimated, and upstaged by more prominent villains. No longer. Sloth is back, and although his mission is not completely clear, we should not write this off as another failed attempt at domination. I for one am enthralled to see what Sloth is up to now. Could he be making a mind-control device? Or maybe he just wants to cause a ruckus? Whatever the case, you need to decide now if you are for or against him. Take this simple quiz to find out!1. Do you support Sloth in his quest for Neopia domination? a) Yes b) Of course! c) You bet! d) How could I not? e) Where do I sign up? 2. Have you had any anti-Sloth thoughts in the past year? a) Never! b) Is that even possible? c) No, I love my master d) No, those silly Grundos don’t influence me at all e) This is a preposterous question 3. Do you think that Sloth will be victorious? a) There is no doubt in my mind b) Yes! c) He will prevail! d) Yes, because everyone loves him e) He already is victorious! If you answered the above questions with A, B, C, D, or E, congratulations! You are on Sloth’s winning team. That was sure easy. Rigged? I have no idea what you’re talking about... Look below at the pro-Sloth items and pick out something to buy. (Don’t bother looking at the other category.) Sadly, none of these items are wearable at the time of this writing (hint, hint, TNT). Pro-Sloth Items:
1. I Support Sloth Badge Your feelings about Sloth are made pretty clear with this cute little orange button. If you are feeling rebellious, wear it while walking through a conservative anti-Sloth town.
2. Plastic Ring of Sloth Supporting an evil villain never looked so fashionable. Even girly pets will be begging for this ring, not caring about the meaning. It’s very affordable since it’s just plastic.
3. Dr Sloth Halloween Costume Now you can look like your favorite villain whenever and wherever you want! It’s kind of expensive, but totally worth it if you ask me. Note: I’m not liable for any harm to you caused by angry Grundos.
4. Wind Up Dr. Sloth Toy
Aww, now this is just adorable. Not only does it walk, but it says cute little phrases like “surrender now” and “Lucky Slothy Day Dip is delicious.” How can you resist?
5. Dr Sloth Sock Keep your feet-- err... foot nice and cozy with this lovely sock. Just be sure to buy two of them. If you like to make sock monkeys, this item will come in handy.
6. Dr Sloth Poster Hang this stylish poster up on your living room or bedroom wall to help support Sloth. This also makes a great gift for younger neopets. Get them in the right frame of mind early!
7. Glistening Sloth Statue Add this statue to your neohome’s foyer, and you will be the envy of all your Sloth-loving friends. The gorgeous ivory color will demand attention from everyone. Sloth would not have it any other way.
8. I Love Sloth T-Shirt
This item is very rare because it is retired and everyone wants it. If you’re rich, this would be a good investment. Just don’t spill anything on it...
9. Shiny Sloth Head Small enough to fit in your pocket, this little beauty can be carried around everywhere. Why would you carry it around, you ask? Well why not? Your pet may find this item while fishing at the Underwater Cavern.
10. Dr. Sloth Hair Pomade If you have ever wanted Sloth’s perfectly disheveled hair, this is your product! Just use a little bit each day and your hair will be looking fabulous.
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Anti-Sloth Items:
1. Anti Sloth Balloon This lovely balloon definitely will get your point across (even to neopets who can’t read yet). Tie this balloon around your wrist or hang it outside of your home. Just don’t come running to me when Sloth picks you as his first target...
2. Dr Sloth Piñata
What other item will give you candy and the satisfaction of whacking a Sloth look-alike? This piñata is relatively cheap and can also go in your neohome.
3. Sloth Paddleball Ever had the guts to nail Sloth in the face with a rubber bouncy ball? Yeah, me neither. But now you can pretend with this awesome paddleball! Every time the ball meets Sloth’s wooden face, you won’t be able to keep yourself from grinning. Who is evil now?
4. Sloth Sock Puppet Balloon This balloon was inspired by Splat-A-Sloth, the fun game in which you whack a Sloth sock puppet with a newspaper. This item is rather silly to look at and makes most people smile.
5. Robo Sloth Butler Have you ever wanted to tell Sloth to fetch your stinky cheese? I hope you have some breath mints handy, because now you can! This item may be out of your price range, but hopefully you can save up. It will also look quite nice in your neohome.
6. Beating Sloth This rare book is a great read if you can track it down. It tells the story of Sloth’s downfall from a Grundo’s perspective. Not many copies were printed, so you will be lucky to find it in a library.
7. Sloth Gummies At first these seem like a cute “pro” item until you merrily chomp on Sloth’s head as you pop them into your mouth. *gasp*
8. Sloth Faerie Plushie Sloth does not seem so macho now... You would be amazed to find out how fun it is to have this Sloth faerie prance around your room. The phrases it says are a little creepy though, since a deep voice is used. Phrases include “I’m a prettyful faerie,” “I can fly!” and “wheeee.”
9. Sloth Surprise Similar to the Sloth Gummies, you will have lots of fun while devouring this Sloth head. Don’t worry, I won’t tell you what the surprise is...
10. Dr Sloth Pumpkin Pumpkin smashing, anyone? ;)
Thanks for taking my Sloth quiz! I hope you have found some nice items (unless of course you are an evil non-supporter *cough*). Have fun during this plot!
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